Hi everyone!
Let’s talk about emotions today. I want to talk about them in a pure observational way. No trying to understand, no whys. The main questions I am curious about is whether there is a dominant feeling in your life and whether there are specific emotions associated with specific times of the day.
Starting with the first: I think currently, there is no dominant emotion because they change too much. I am at a confused stage. But I have also been in some exceptional times. But I was (maybe still actually am?) a consistently happy person. Of course, I felt stressed at times, sad sometimes, but my default would always be happiness. When I woke up, I woke up happy. This was almost without exception. I asked my mom what kind of a kid I was before school and all. She said the same thing: that I was a happy and positive kid. So, I guess that is my actual, natural state of being.
As for what happens during the day. Let’s say I feel stressed about something. Then, I feel the stress in the morning and it often goes away during the day as I get involved with tasks. Same if I feel sad. I just need to get the morning through. But I learnt that this is not the same for everyone. Some people feel their “negative” emotions in the afternoon, in the evening etc. And there are reasons for that too. Maybe the end of the day reminds them of negativitiy.
PS: I am using the word ‘negative’ because I could not find a better word. But I think no emotion is negative. Instead, they all tell us something about us. The word ‘negative’ reflects our perception of them.
Ok, now your turn. Is there a dominant feeling in your life? Is there a specific time when you feel negative emotions more? Let’s discover our patterns.
Reblogged this on To Write or not to Write and What to Write.
Sounds like we’re cut from the same happy, positive outlook cloth, and for that I’m happy and grateful.
I read a study somewhere that revealed 90% of what people worry about never happens; 6% happens, but with far less severity than anticipated; and the remaining 4% actually happens as envisioned, but there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it . . . so why dwell on the negatives of life?
” This is the day that the Lord hath made, rejoice and be glad in it.”
I didn’t know about these stats! Maybe the reason we look for the negatives is because of our survival instinct. We want to ‘protect’ ourselves. But in the process, we also tend to ‘create’ dangers.
Dominant emotion i have felt is emotionless state. I dont feel happy or sad when i wake up. I do normal chores, doing exercise makes me energetic but again its the same state. Only when i read and some good happenings i hear, emotion shifts to satisfaction and happiness.
How long has it been like this?
since the start of pandemic i would say, day doesnt start with any emotion, it gets added in the progress
Hmm, maybe it is part of not knowing what to do because we can’t control many things in this time. So your mind chooses to stay neutral. Interesting.
True, that could be a reason to be neutral.
Use ‘stalling’ rather than negative 🙂 There are some emotions that stall us…. usually for a reason, however hard to breath in 🙂
That is a good suggestion! Thank you!
I feel like whenever I feel stressed it goes away pretty quickly, most of the time same day but sometimes it could take me days or weeks. But never for a very long time I feel like.
That is good! So I assume generally, you are a happy person?
Yes I am
That is awesome! What a blessing!
This is a very interesting perspective to look at… I guess my natural state is worried/trapped… I can’t think of any better words to use. I feel like I’m stuck in a bit of a Groundhog day situation where things seem to be just repeating over and over, I want to make changes, but change induces more worry… for example, I’m having some work done in the bathroom currently… my Dad is doing it for me. I wanted to have the whole project planned and prepped before beginning but just in the last week so many things have happened and I am constantly in a state of stress of whats going to happen next, will he tell me first, will I get to choose etc etc?!
Sorry for the long comment but I still find the view point of this post very intriguing!
No, I am glad you shared! How long have you been feeling like this? Has it been the same your whole life?
I’ve never been someone who bounces out of bed in the morning but the general “down” feelings have been for the last 6-7 years I think… I was in a bad relationship for a long time, then changed job to go full time and I’ve hated it here for a long time. So the cloud of negativity hasn’t really ever lifted… there are days when the Sun shines through and my mood improves but it always slides back to this low baseline/standard…
Not everyone wakes up happy but as long as you can pick it up during the day, I think it is ok. But if negativity drains you too much, maybe it is important to listen to what it is trying to tell you. Maybe it is trying to ‘protect’ you by bringing up potential ‘dangers’.
Hmm, I think my regular state is more apathetic, then as events happen around me I feel emotion. I never wake up filled with any particular emotion.
Hmm, so in the absence of any triggers, you feel nothing and get triggered based on the nature of the trigger. Do you like it this way?
Sure, I suppose. I’m rarely in a bad mood. I just go looking for things to keep me in a good mood throughout the day. Fun activities, healthy food, etc.
That is a nice trigger then! If it pushes you to be active.
I think feelings aren’t just personal and individualistic. They rely upon external factors like other people, situations, and environments. I’ve noticed that I can just switch between moods depending on whom I’m with, where I am, and what I’m doing. Sometimes it’s a bit overwhelming, and feels like I’m a chameleon changing color as it pleases. But yes, there is a base nature that we all possess, and it ranges from the positive to the not so positive. We must work with what we have and make the best of it without fooling ourselves.
I think some people are more prone to the energies of others around them. You must be one of them. Do you like being like that? Also, yeah, I agree that we should not question our feelings. Whatever we feel is legitimate and is trying to tell us something.
I’m not sure if this is intrinsic or something I have conditioned myself to do. But I try to make my peace with it.
As long as it does not affect you negatively, I think it might be a good thing because it makes you more emphatic.
It’s a good question, I am not sure that there is a dominant emotion for me! I will have to think about it though!
Let me know if you find out something!
I feel like most people tend to fall toward some personal emotional center from which they measure relative ups-and-downs. Wherever they balance out just becomes the norm, and this seems to be how you’re describing yourself. Moving the balance-point usually involves some initial swing, first down (maybe stress, worry, doubt…) to move up. And likewise, opportunistic ups can ultimately move us down in a sort of emotional debt trap. So it takes some work, some investment in a degree of unpleasantness, to keep a balance point in a good place. For emotionally resilient people, I think the investment simply becomes a routine.
I like this description! So in this case, the nature of the personal emotional center differs from person to person?
I think so… and I think it can be changed to at least some extent with the right kind of effort. I notice you’re working on something… probably not always pleasant, and it represents a sort of necessary self-discipline to get things done. Ask yourself, does this push your own center-of-balance, your “default”, into the opposite direction? I suspect that it does.
(ツ)
I will think about this. I am curious about its implications in my life. Thanks a lot!
I find myself shifting back and forth between curiosity, wanting to know more just for the sake of knowing, and ennui, feeling like there no point is knowing. That curious inner child has taken quite a beating over the years. Entropy is finally winning.
How do you like dealing with this child?
It is problematic.
Any solutions that work? Or doesn’t work?
Don’t discard the past but don’t live in it either. The past is nothing but a ghost and the future is nothing but a dream. Own your failures and mistakes and tragedies, neutralize the emotional content and then get on with life.
I find it is easy to do this where I was clearly wronged. Shit happpens – get over it. I accomlish nothing of merit by remaining angry, resentful, bitter. If it unfortunate that the world often rewards people for playing the victim of the story rather than the protagonist.
Forviveness is a two sided coin. Forgiving yourself is as important as forgoving others. It looks to me like other people have an easier time of forgiving themselves than others. Rather than just saying, “I screwed up” and moving on, there’s a whole process of self justification. I have the opposite problem. I personally find guilt much more difficult to overcome than grief or anger. The worst memories are the ones where you fell short, failed, or hurt someone and it was arguably your fault.
More recent fails can sometime be fixed but most of mine are so long ago all one can do is forgive oneself.
Yeah. I did that. Wish I could undo it but I cannot. Live and learn and don’t repeat. Yeah, that hapened to me. Oh well. Forgive and hopefully forget for a bit.
So many great points! I think I am similar in that I find guilt to be harder to overcome. I also sometimes go great lengths to make up for it but it is not always possible. Eventually, it ends up in forgiving ourselves and giving ourselves the chance to make mistakes, but we will. Although I know this in my mind, something in me makes me feel bad and still strive for ‘perfection’, whatever that means. I end up ‘screwing more’ because of that.
I’ve noticed my OCD has gone into overdrive since my oldest of 4 passed (Sept. 5, 2020). I’ve had OCD ever since I can remember. It’s not something that interferes with work or social activities (I guess it’s mild??). My OCD is what I describe as ‘Intense Attention to Detail’….I have to have things in a certain order that makes sense to me….best way to describe it. I’ve also been an avid cleaner lol. Not germ-a-phob but, as part of my OCD, I can’t deal with a mess…best way to put it that too.
Since Sept, I’ve noticed things I do have become daily rituals….gradually it has become more intense and if I don’t do them at certain times then I feel overwhelmed, like I’m thrown off course. I know I’m still heavily grieving but I can’t say definitely that I’m doing things to distract the trauma or pain of grief.
I recently contacted a dr asking if OCD can intensify when grieving or if they are somehow connected.
My dominant feeling is grief 24/7, even when I seem happy.
I feel like it’s a stronger feeling after everyone is asleep at night. Obviously because I’m left alone with my thoughts.
It’s just crazy that I can be playing with my grandkids and suddenly get a wave of emotions hit me. Sometimes I can put them aside or later and others it’s too hard. It’s always in the late afternoon it seems. I don’t know why though.
Have you thought about the idea that OCD might intensify after a loss because your instinct to control things intensifies so that you can prevent any further loss?
I think late afternoon signifies the end of the day, or end of things, and maybe that is why you get more emotional?
the most dominant feeling i go thtough is most of the time is self doubt…be it in a party…in the classroom….in the playground…..or laying on my bedd…but now i m overpowering it…so that i dont live in dilemma and gloom!
I recently had a good portion of that recently. Sometimes I try going with the idea that ‘worst decision is better than no decision’. It helps.
Well, most of the time I think I’m in a constant worry state of mind. And, yes, I go through various kinds of emotions throughout the day. Being with a group of people would drain my energy away, and I feel like I am in an escape room. I feel alive and happy when I play a sport.
Do you know where the worry comes from? Maybe it is trying to tell you something?
Well, to my understanding, i think my worries comes from thinking others. One is that i put others before me and another is what would others say about my decision.
Hmm, ok. Any way to deal with it?
Im trying to put myself first now but its hard for me. Since i got used to put others feelings first instead of mine, it is hard to change it. So i just go with a flow. I prepared myself to accept whatever happens.
That is the best way. It takes training I am sure, but it is the best way to live life.
Great topic! I talk to my clients about this all time. I naturally feel positive and ready to make the most of my day. Then around 1:00 I have to workout because I feel negative. Working out lifts my mood.
Interesting that it happens at the height of the day! But it is important to find ways around it, which you have found. It is very important to handle it well.
I agree! I can never figure out why and I would love to one day be able to
I’m not sure what my natural emotional state is. I think it is “sadness” though. Or just “numbness”. It definitely isn’t happiness.
But I really like to think about emotions just as these feelings that emote. At the same time, I wish the pleasant emotions stayed for a bit longer but they really don’t.
Yeah, for some reason, unpleasant feeling stay longer. Maybe our mind is trying to figure out how it can protect us so it focuses on them a lot.
I feel like when I wake up I’m the morning a happy person, and then depending on how the tasks of the day have rolled out I end up stressed and sometimes unhappy in the evening, however I think that our dominant emotions depend on what we as individuals choose to react to as a person depending on the different experiences that we go through each day or from past experiences.
So, you don’t have a default state except for the morning. Your emotions are based on triggers. That is nice! Flexibility.
Yes, I just had a thought also, our dominant emotions can also be re-occurring and other people notice them as well and they automatically know how you are going to react to somthing, so they end up saying things like, *I knew you’d react this way or such a typical way for you to react.
Yes, that is a good point! That might define our underlying mood.
True man
🙏
I do feel the same as you have mentioned but my mornings are insanely dependent on my dreams that night.. I don’t know if this sounds like a real deal for emotion but surely once you get a thought the line of ideas feelings and emotions line up already
I feel you. My dreams sometimes affect me as well. Does it change during the day, though?
Yes they change. What about you?
Yeah, I think they affect me only for a short time when I wake up.
That’s really good since it gives you a little mental stimulation
Yeah, I guess
Please see also my blog I’m new here
ok
An interesting conundrum, difficult to give an accurate answer, however I think my main emotion is one of ‘thankfulness’ – if that is an emotion, generally, I have a happy nature and I aim to be positive, the more you practice it the easier it becomes.
That is great! Contentment is maybe the emotion?
Since I have been blogging, I think my outlook on life is better for the most part. During the Pandemic we were all stressed and felt like we were in solitary confinement. I was lucky to be confined with the love of my life, but still was depressed, meeting nice people on my blog was a factor in keeping me sane. Hope you are well also and stay safe.
The blog has saved me before too. I am glad you found a way out.
Very interesting topic! The Bible says that God’s mercies are new every morning and I definitely believe that. I wake up happy and grateful. In the late afternoon, is when stress can get to me. I think it is because I am tired from the day’s work and between meals, so my blood sugar is also low. A quick walk and a snack can really help with that afternoon lull, if I can squeeze it in. Thanks for posting- I have really enjoyed reading these insights into everyone’s day. Blessings!
I am glad you did! Also, so nice to hear that you have a way to pick the day up in a healthy way. It is an important habit!
https://thevrindasharmablog.wordpress.com/
So great!
Thank you!
I go through all the feelings within 1 day. I’m highly reactive to external stimuli so I can wake up feeling meh, then a cup of coffee makes me happy, then an argument makes me angry then I read and I’m happy again, then a flashback of a bad memory makes me sad. But basically I’m always doing things to make myself happy. Sometimes I get stuck in sadness or anger but not for more than a few hours
As long as it doesn’t last, I think it is good to feel all emotions. It sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your emotions. But is it tiring?
Thanks. It’s exhausting
🙏
I think anxiety is the dominant feeling for me…And it pops up every now and then
Does it appear in some specific situations more than others?
There’s nothing dominant nowadays. I feel sad, bad, good, anxious, confused,hopeless exhausted but above all I’m happy with it miraculously…
I think what matters is whether you can handle it and whether you are happy with it. As long as you have both, no need to question it much.
Ummm.. Yupp!!!
Good thing about emotions is you learn something from them and with positive attitude it helps you in being a better version of yourself
Exactly!
Dominant emotion ! I hadn’t really thought about this in this perspective. Most often emotions have been a reflection of the phase of mind. These days it is more about the excitement of knowing what my values are and being conscious of my thought processes. It does add a layer of curiosity to the way the days go by.
That is a very fruitful stage! It opens new doors to understanding ourselves.
Interesting, really
🙏
I am a pessimist through and through and I wish I could be more positive. It’s quite draining to expect the worst from yourself and other people, however at least I am pleasantly surprised most of the time
That is a good way of seeing it! How can you be more positive,though? Are there any strategies you can think of?
Try to think more positive haha, being around happy people def helps too
I can resonate with you. 🙂
Nice
Thanks a lot!
Sorry for my late reply:(
Yeah, even I find myself a very happy person, no things upsets me easily. But yes if I gets upset or I don’t feel good about something (this happens very less) I just get angry with every person who interacts with me. Don’t know why this happen, but I’m trying to get rid of this problem.
How extreme is your anger when it happens?
I am asking because I was like that too but then I realized that I was holding some anger inside me all along.
Umm… I usually break things.. I don’t intend to do that but when I feel that i can’t control anymore than I automatically start breaking things. The last thing which I broke was my tea cup.
I was definitely like that. Or I would say hurtful things to people, which I would regret seconds later.
But then I realized that I was actually holding some anger inside me all that time and those were explosions of that. Do you notice anything like this?
Yess… Exactly. I hold anger to a point where even I cannot handle it. I ignore people when they hurt me, I give chances again and again. But there comes a time where I start feeling suffocated then all the anger stored inside me burst out.
Any tips.. About how can I change this habit.?
Honestly, I turned inward a lot and this helped me. I tried to understand my emotions through meditation, introspection etc. In time, I learnt how to notice my anger when it was still small. That helped me get rid of bursts.
Yes meditation… I will surely try to meditate and do whatever I can to get rid of my problem.. Thanks a lot for sharing your technique.. It means a lot
Very nice topic. And very impresive and insightfull.
Thank you!
Thank you for liking my blog post from May 25th 2021 (yesterday). Funny how we have like minds about being positive. Please be sure to subscribe would love your readership and support in my blogging and art endeavor. Have a blessed day!
I liked tour blog quite impressive nd the way of telling it is like one can’t took their eyes off.
I’m also a blogger actually a beginner can you give suggestion
Thank you for the kind words! Welcome to blogging! I don’t know if I can give you good suggestions without knowing what you want to do, but generally, just post whatever comes from within and whenever it comes. Don’t care about numbers much.
Thanks
Dominant emotion- darkness. There are a multitude that go into the dark. They are all emotions one would like to hide or keep to themselves like sorrow, anger, hopelessness- ones you’d rather not spread to another. As for timings? I’ve come to realize a lot of it is tied to my stomach. The gut-brain.
Hmm, feeling it in your gut is expected. Do you know why you have those feelings often? Are there specific triggers?
Not entirely sure.
There is probably some pattern there. But maybe the feeling may not even belong to you, if you can’t find a specific trigger. Did you read ‘It didn’t start with you’? If not, I suggest you do.
I would say my prevailing emotion is anxiety, worry. I don’t think my emotions vary with time of day so much. When I am able to get outside and recreate, then I generally feel happy. Sometimes I have interactions with people that make me feel good, as well. I am trying to focus on gratitude and compassion in my practices to continue to open up more space for these emotions. I would call the negative emotions negative, at least in the sense of the “negativity bias.” They’re certainly emotions that cause us stress and wear us down.
I think gratitude is an overall great attitude. The truth behind gratuity is that it has to encompass forgiveness. Forgiveness of self and others. Without this gratitude is not truthful.
True. But I think we also should start from somewhere. Maybe we can first appreciate ourselves (i.e. gratitude for what we have and do). Then we can extend it to others. What do you think?
Yes. We have to start somewhere. Gratitude is a great platform from which to grow and create.
I think naming them as they are in the first place is helpful, but we should also work on transforming them rather than being stuck in their negativity. For example, anxiety and worry usually are feelings that are trying to protect from from perceived danger. Can you see what they are trying to save you from. We can ask such questions.
If I could summarize a general feeling it is “why?” Why am I not doing better? Why is it like this? Why do I try? Why aren’t my sufficient beliefs and desires creating a different reality? Why do I feel so alone?
I work at staying positive and understanding that attitude is everything. No matter what May come it is my attitude that creates my reality.
Self-doubt then. Is there anything that you always feel good about?
Myself. I know I make a valiant effort. Not saying I don’t make mistakes but I know failures lead to successes just as success end in failure. I am ok with this and live with the mantra to “loose the cords of mistakes binding me, as I release the strands of others guilt.” I feel strongly to make a positive effort, keep on trucking, no matter what.
I think you are on a good track then. Maybe it is better to also dig into the deeper reasons of the self-doubt. It might help improve your journey even more.
Let’s think through this. When I was younger I was deemed arrogant. I made an effort to dial back my sense of self-worth to be more considerate. If I was to summarize the message I get from the universe these days it seems more like I don’t really matter. Maybe this is partly a product of aging. Creativity is important to me. It just feels like I am living in a space of no collaboration. I feel more alone than connected and my efforts to connect, even to my own family, are met more with, “Stay in your own lane.” Self doubt may be a result, I am not sure it is the cause. Perhaps I am more a jack of all trades and master of none, and my efforts are really anemic. Ok, they are my efforts and I am ok with it. So why does the universe have to keep telling me something different?
Somehow, I feel like maybe the universe is calling you to connect to itself by accepting who you are and what you are doing. Maybe you will find your self-worth in your own self and its connection to the energies (universe) around you. This does not need to include people.
There was a time when I was stressed perpetually. Doom and gloom dominated: 24/7/365. Much of my life has been lived this way. Going from on screw up to the next and always awaiting the next catastrophe.
In my old age, I started taking philosophy — particularly Stoicism — seriously. I now realize that the stress, doom, and gloom all centered on stuff beyond my control.
I now focus on what’s totally within my control — my thoughts, my perceptions, and my actions (reactions). Life is much better. (My Fitbit even tells me that I am less stressed now than what I used to be.)
That is great progress! It is very important to be able to let go and I am glad you are!
I feel the predominant question here is is it really possible to change the base/home feeling in an individual? If in the end it is chemically founded then only through medication? Is there truth in mind-over-matter when it comes to a base feeling? Are we all somewhat manic in our range of feelings? Is there a best or normal healthy base feeling? What is it? Stability and peace? Are we all searching for something?
I believe that most of the time, what we think is our nature actually results from an experience very early in life. If the root can be found, things can change. So, it depends on whether it is an actual natural state of being or a result of an early experience.
I feel best when being in the creative flow (creating art/music/writing/communicating. I feel more empty when I am not in this zone. Like ungrounded/separated. I don’t think this is time specific as it is a biorhythm, for lack of a better description.
Feeling frustrated is a common feeling for me. Frustrated creatively, not connecting with others, not finding an outlet that moves in the moment, feeling stuck and nothing seems to stop it.
What do you do as a profession?
I feel best when being in the creative flow (creating art/music/writing/communicating. I feel more empty when I am not in this zone. Like ungrounded/separated. I don’t think this is time specific as it is a biorhythm, for lack of a better description.
Feeling frustrated is a common feeling for me. Frustrated creatively, not connecting with others, not finding an outlet that moves in the moment, feeling stuck and nothing seems to stop it.
Interesting. I believe that we are wired certain ways, luckily the plasticity of our brains brings us that we can change, or choose. Emotions are a lot like the weather, be it sunny skies or thunderstorms. You can recognise those although sometimes it can strike you seemingly of nowhere. The things you go through, your expierences and expectations in life wire our brains. It is however most important to remember that each and everyone was born with a clean slate, a state of mind and state of being; Which is always there underneath it all, and through all seasons of life.
Yeah, I agree that emotions change like weather and we are born clean. But I still believe that we do have a natural state of being that is unique to us (not sure how this can be reconciled with the clean state though) and some kind of environmental conditioning too.
That’s a hard one! Nice post. I think my dominant one at the moment is frustration. I’ve too much to do and not enough time to do it! But that is on me!
Hmm, how you deal with the frustration though?
If I have a dominant emotion, it has to be seriousness. That’s usually how I feel towards everything in life. Not that I don’t laugh or cry or react emotionally to a situation, and I have my downright silly times, as well. But when I’m alone, it’s that seriousness that is my default mode. I think it comes from being a banquet manager for 19 years, with every day a flurry of problem-solving and keeping on top of events. It’s helped discipline me, though, to write more frequently, and writing puts me in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day, so…yeah. By the way, I like your site. It’s pretty cool!
Seriousness is a good one, as long as you can sneak in some goofiness sometimes. It is good because it makes you do things, which otherwise might be hard. Writing is a great tool to balance that:)
Also, thanks for the kind words about our site. We hope to contribute to our collective understanding of things
Good post and thanks for following me now. My common emotion is anger. I have built up so much distrust with people that I just can’t help myself. I wish I could be as happy as u but I am not. Believe me is not from a lack of attempting to be happy, I just fall short because sometimes always rears its ugly head.
Maybe you can try to understand the roots of why those people behave that way. Understanding the subconscious reasons behind people’s behaviors, good or bad, made me much less angry. It also taught me how to distance myself when necessary (like: I know why they are doing what they are doing but I can’t help with it until they understand)
Very interesting narrative.