Is the past still haunting you? How big is its influence? From time to time the past can screw us up. Big time. And it’s not because something happened in the present or because some past actions have some consequences in the present, but because we have memories. Did ever happen to you to feel good (or you think you feel good) and then everything goes to hell just because your mind did some associations and you remembered a f*cked up thing from your past? How helpful do you think that is for your present and for your future?
“But what can we do? We can’t control the way our mind works!” We can’t control how it works, but we can decide what it will do next. We can break that shitty thought pattern (I’ve mentioned some strategies here) by thinking about something else. The more we practice, the better we can become at it and this will help us control the influence shitty memories have over us.
We all did some things we’re not proud of (a gentle way to put things), but it’s not fair to let those things still haunt us. We’re wiser now and more experienced. We’re better than that so we can control it more. Our present self doesn’t deserve this. Maybe our past one does, but not the present one. They’re two different people so one of them doesn’t deserve to suffer because of the other.
From time to time it will happen. The shitty memories will have an influence over our present once again. But we can deal with that now because we’re stronger than before. We did it back then so we can do it now again. No dragon is that powerful unless we let it to be, but it’s ok… we’re only humans. We can face everything when we’re at our best, but we get knocked down when we have our guard down. It’s ok… thank God we’re humans.
How often do you get knocked down by your past?
25 thoughts on “The Ghosts from The Past”
I actually did an analysis of my past on my present as bets as I can (spoiler: I am not a professional, so I did it the way it worked for me). What I discovered was that my present actions were so much shaped by my past experiences. Coming to terms with those experiences made life easier for me, my mind more silent and my real, original personality more visible.
This is awesome, especially because the you now is different than the past you. What did you do to come to terms with those experiences?
I had ‘sessions’. I sat down and tried to understand a certain reaction, feeling or thought I was having. I mainly focused on what in my childhood could lead me to show that reaction. Then, I directed my perception of that reaction towards being more forgiving. I considered the situations at the time that childhood incident happen, but not from today’s perspective. So, it was like explicit teaching sessions where I instructed my brain to change its way of thinking. These sessions could take up to 2 hours or more at times andI had them for a whole year. I got very tired but they were very helpful.
Very interesting! You can actually do a post about it! I’m sure many people will find it useful 😀
Maybe, I can write tons about these issues:)
I’m looking forward for it!
Loved reading this!
It’s very enjoyable
Would love to hear your thoughts on my blog as well!
Thank you very much! Will do! 😀
I remember reading something somewhere that the time we spend agonizing over something someone said or did in our past is truly wasted. Chances are the people involved in the circumstances that has us all emotional years later doesn’t even register in their brain now. They may not even remember what happened, nor care! So why do we hang on to this stuff?
I try to tell myself this when I lay awake worrying about something dumb that I said or did or that happened to me in the past. It does not define me now. I must keep saying this to myself, which is not always easy. We do tend to let the emotional baggage get the best of us sometimes, maybe as a way to process in order to get stronger?
It’s tricky, isn’t it. 🙂
It is tricky especially because emotions tend to override our thoughts. A certain emotional state will throw us in a certain mindset so we can remember all the situations connected with that emotional state. It’s hard to break that, but fortunately, not impossible.
Yes. It takes focus and discipline. 😊
Funny, I did a post relatable to this today. You’re right. We can’t let the past hunt us but sometimes it is hard to go over it. Thanks for this.
Thank you for reading! Yes, it is hard, especially when there are some strong emotions involved. But time will make it easier. And writing too 🙂
I find writing helps for sure. That’s actually why I started blogging. 😊
Everything that has ever happened to us in the past consistently impacts our daily lives, whether we realize it or not. We make decisions – giant or minute – based on what we’ve learned, hopefully, from our past mistakes. I see no way to avoid it.
Dwell on it? No, but realize that yesterday is always with us. We can’t escape it. We just need to learn from it and move forward.
Easier said than done, I know.
Of course! Thank you for sharing this! We are who and how we are based on our past experiences. The dwelling part is the real issue here…
My boyfriend was checking out this girl in the past. He even searched her name on his media accounts. I knew that it was in the past but it still keeps haunting me even though that girl he was stalking is gone in the company.
Now, present time, I think that I don’t trust him anymore which shouldn’t be the case. Really, people should let go of the past, for it to let us go. (x__x)
That’s true! What do you do when you feel you don’t trust him?
He sees it in me, so we sit down and talk about it and drama, but at the end of the day, we’re still together and forgive each other.
Great approach! I think it’s the best way to get over difficulties in a relationship.
Leaving the past behind is truly the only way to move forward. Everyone I know has struggled. I guess we are human after all.
We are, aren’t we? But sometimes we expect to be perfect even though humans aren’t perfect…
I used to have this strange way of dealing with memories of past things I’d done that I’d regretted doing. Whenever the memory of this embarrassing past action would come to me, I’d start humming to myself as a way of displacing it from my mind. Or I’d immediately think of something else to distract me from the painful memory. I suspect that many of us have devised interesting defense mechanisms of one kind of another like this.
Yes, that’s right. But when those ghosts manage to get through, they can do a lot of damage…