Provided by Scherezade Ozwulo from The Introverted Christian
*originally posted on The Introverted Christian*
Watching Dr. Oz, eating my French toast sticks, a flash of a preview for his next show centered around real life mean girls comes on. Seeing the images of girls fighting like their in the Octagon or the victim laying out unconscious is scary.
Just straight scary.😨😨
As a kid, being tall of course I stood out no matter how introverted I was. Very few girls (I can count on one hand)stepped to me with only slick talk, my response would be to ignore them, they got bored for no reaction; but for the most part never laid an actual hand on me. I can’t imagine how these kids are fairing now. Constantly being tested by their peers, stalked because they are somewhat exceptional in some capacity in comparison to the next one; it has to be exhausting and stressful.😥😥
The Times we are in, are tribulations built on endurance. How do we get our children to move past each and everyday without being tested? Self defense?🥋🥊 That works for the physical kid, but what if the bully has a lightening quick tongue?
Survival of the fittest?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Not true. Words hurt more because they are planted within the conscious and grow and fester in the subconscious. Constantly on replay like a broken record💿😣😣. Speaking for myself, I remember things said from twenty years ago that feel as if they were said yesterday. I can’t imagine what these kids say now? The hate that’s spewed from the mouth of babes, is horrendous.
My boys are toddlers, they’ll be school age soon. My boys are big at 3 and 1 years of age (Kareem looks like a 5 yr old, Malkiah is up to Kareem’s waist standing up), will they be picked on? Ridiculed for the over average height? Given mental state of kids now, I want my sons to adapt to the situation being given. If they have to fight, so be it. If they have to trade words, so be it.
My biggest fear is I don’t want my sons to sit on their anger until they explode. I’m a pressure cooker. But it’s been from years of being told to keep quiet, not being heard or being too shy. I blew up once, 30 years of pain came out in a fiery tirade. It shouldn’t have took me 30 years, but it did. I wasn’t happy about it, still not. I don’t want my kids to wait too long to address how they feel because it could be detrimental. Makes me think of Jeremy by Pearl Jam. It’s already happening around the country, but it shouldn’t ever get to that point.
What I won’t have is my children scared of their peers. Afraid to be who they are because it makes someone else uncomfortable, jealous, envious to the point where they feel the world is better off without them. Bullies don’t get to make that decision for my kids. All kids have a place in this world and should be respected for it.
What do you think?
I will tell I was bullied at times and I lived in an abusive home too. It was okay for my dad to scream, cuss and hit but never okay for us. I was even told, along with the others, if you are going to cry then I will give you something to cry about. Now I took everything that I dealt with and made sure my children were well armed and ready to go battle if need be. They absolutely know to never ever pick on others. They understand how painful it is and they haven’t just befriended outcasts and the unwanted but my middle child, who more vocal, has stepped up to bullies before and shut them down with her words and her logic. She wasn’t the one being bullied but she was helping a friend. My children are told each and every day they are loved and valued. They have been taught that if ANYONE says or does something to hurt them that they are to speak up and it will be dealt with. It has been dealt with. They know they can tell me anything and there is no judgement. They know they are valued and loved but they also know I’m here for them and they are allowed to express their anger. I don’t punish them for cussing or getting mad and they are happy, well adjusted kids. I have two close to finishing high school and my baby is so wise. Parents can’t really do anything when the kids are out in the world but there are things to do to help them. We can’t stop them from going into battle but we can armor them up before we send them in.
Exactly!! Thank you for sharing.
It’s incredible – isn’t it? To still have those hurts from Heaven only knows how long ago? And now there’s the whole cyber-bullying toxicity, so that going home doesn’t mean you’re free of it…
I have to agree with abirdwithoutwings. You teach them from the moment they are born that they are loved, and precious, and they do not under any circumstances, deserve to be told or made to feel otherwise. You listen, you let them vent, and follow through if child X said Y to your kiddo, or assaults them.
I can say, sadly, I was on both sides of the equation. Neglected at home, so I acted out. Acted out in school with the intent of protecting those I called friend. There is also the completely underlying and terrifying issue of mental health issues in children (bi-polar, depression, mood disorders) that are SO much harder to diagnose when then kid isn’t capable of expressing what’s going on inside their head. Add the stigma attached to being “crazy” – and yeah – our kids get the rough end of it.