Understand you


I have come to the realization in recent years (especially in recent months) that it is very important to understand your nature. Don’t resist your natural state. Here is what I mean: I realized that I am very much of a perfectionist when it comes to work (and just as chill with everything else). What I used to do was to take on too many projects and try to do perfect in all (because I can’t help my perfectionist nature). Eventually, this combination of too much work and my detail-orientedness caused me to burn out. I decided that I cannot change my perfectionist side, so I became more selective with the work I take on. Now, I don’t try to do everything. In fact, a lot of times, I do not do much. I choose one or few things to complete and try to do my best with it. This helped me both feel accomplished (and actually accomplish things) and also not be burned out. This is a result of understanding and accepting my nature.

Likewise, I realized that thinking is not good for me. Taking action is. When I feel myself getting into too much thinking at any point, I directly take action. Any action, but probably an extreme one. This feels natural and honestly, it did get me out of so many potential loops of thoughts. If I feel too lazy but I want to or need to work, I put on full make-up. First, I do not wear make-up often. Second, no one would wear that much make-up on a regular day. But I do this because I realized action makes me feel very good and productive. Before this, I was a huge supporter of the idea that we need to understand the deep reasons behind all of our patterns (e.g. instead of taking action, I would sit down and think about why I feel lazy).

What do you know to be true in your own nature? What works best for you to feel content and productive in life? Let’s discuss.


23 thoughts on “Understand you

  1. I’ve been a people-pleaser my entire life and I often want to save others. Some of this was learned behavior from my mom, but others are just how I am. I’ve learned over my nearly 45 years of life, that I have to be choosy about who I give my trust and love. Trying to please everyone made me crazy, so now I focus on energy on those who love me back.

  2. Thanks for sharing, Betul!
    Life became a lot easier for me when I realized (about four years ago) that my essential nature is Consciousness, in which “Art,” (the body-mind that consists of name and form) arises. Just as name and forms appear in the nighttime dream state, so, too, do they (more sharply, with a continuing plotline) appear in the waking state–often referred to as “reality” by the masses.

  3. Such a good post, and a great reminder to be true to who we are. I try to embrace the perfectionism where it’s appropriate and let it go when it’s not. I try to remember to feel good about choosing to follow my nature, even if it doesn’t always match the dreams of who I think I should be.

  4. Thank you for sharing!!.. I think far to often the thinking of others…. I follow my heart and rarely go wrong “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ( Roy T. Bennett )… 🙂

    Until we meet again..
    May your troubles be less
    Your blessings be more
    And nothing but happiness
    Come through your door
    (Irish Saying)

  5. “ This is a result of understanding and accepting my nature.” …. taking appropriate action rather than endless self contemplation and overthinking is the answer for me too Betul.
    My experience tells me my nature works best with compromise, action and reflection.

  6. I totally relate to what you wrote. The problem is my overthinking knows no limits. I try to act as per my nature but then I felt I care more about other people’s comfort and in that process I make myself uncomfortable. I haven’t still found any solution to this and feel burned out.

  7. That’s true Betul. We all are different and yet same at the core. Being aware of our patterns and though process can help us in improving and making most of it.

  8. Wow, this is a great piece of advice. As an overthinker, I find myself thinking about what I should do more than actually doing the actual thing. I read your post in the morning and since then I kept thinking about it and actually applying your idea. I think it’s great and I came back to comment and thank you for this post. 🙂

  9. I always tend to think as a gratitude for the things provided me so far and this has indeed helped me not to indulge in unwanted emotions. Once I start this shift of thinking it helps me to focus on pragmatic thoughts.

  10. Bethul, an interesting and helpful post. I agree that it is more pleasant and productive to work with your own rhythms. <3

    I can seldom write poems on demand. Some sources of inspiration are a walk outdoors, sleep, dreams. Whenever I have ideas, I write them down so they don't disappear, even if it means getting up in the middle of the night. To spot errors or lines that need revision, I find that setting the draft aside and coming back to it later works well for me.

    1. That is actually a good way of handling it. That is definitely how I wrote my academic work but non-academic writing, I am not so sure. It sounds calming and not stressful.

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