Why would you let go of the past? You have for sure nice memories, and lessons learned, which shape your personality. But letting go of the burden of the past would be important to your happiness. At least some of it.
Many people live in the past; they remember their behaviours, the love stories that did not go well, their failures and disappointments.
Such a burden takes away space and energy from the present, which is actually the only time you can live actively.
You should really learn to let go of the past, forget about the insults you may have received, the bad events and the mistakes, in short, all the bad memories, and learn to focus more on the present.
Of course, it is easier said than done. Sometimes I keep on thinking about that guy that shouted at me on the subway because I wanted to sit next to him! Well, there was a free place, so I took it. But he yelled at me saying that I should ask! I am sorry, why would I ask, the place is free! He replied saying that I touched his right leg with my left one, that’s why I would need to ask! “Would you mind moving your right leg, so that I will put my left one next to yours?” Seriously? No way!
But when I think about it, I get a wave of anger and disappointment. What can I do about it now? Nothing. Is there anything I can change? No, so let it go!
You could consider your past as your backpack, full with stones (more or less heavy) but also with beautiful flowers. During your life path, you can take out from your backpack some heavy stones that have become unbearable and replace them with some nice flowers.
How could you let you go of you past?
- The best antidote to guilt, resentment, or anger that takes you back to the past is devoting energy to build the life you want.
- Your memories change while time passes by, they may distort, and they do not really reflect what happened. Try asking a person who participated in an event with you to tell you about their memory and then compare it with your memory. You will see that you and that person remember different aspects of the same fact. It may seem that you participated in different events!
- Prioritize your well-being. Life is too short to spend arguing and complaining. What happened could be a source of stress and even discomfort. Continuing to feel anger at a past event drains up your energy. It is more important for your physical and mental health to live quietly than being right at all costs.
- Finally, stop playing the victim and become an active protagonist of your life.
Have a look at what Buddhism teaches us: “Joy and happiness arise from letting go. Sit down and take an inventory of your life. There are things you have been hanging on to that really are not useful and deprive you of your freedom. Find the courage to let them go.”