Hello! How are you all?
Recently, I have been thinking about how different everyone is and I love that!
I have a very close friend and in the past few weeks, we have been getting into more heated discussions. I always thought we were similar but these discussions showed me how differently we see a lot things in life. I have been pleasantly surprised.
Everyone is different to some level. While that might scare us at times -because for the human psyche, different might be threatening-, that is the beauty of existence. Imagine if we were all the same. It would be really boring. I already live with myself 24/7, so when I meet others, I would prefer it if they were not me. This is more exciting.
But as I said, different is challenging. First, it challenges our need for safety. Second, we sometimes do not know how to deal with differences. For example, I might know how to deal with my own anger but when somebody else gets angry, their style might be different and we might find it hard to understand what to do in that situation. That needs some patience and some communication. We might or might not be able to have these.
I have found that it helped me to remind myself of how exciting differences are in dealing with them. It made me more understanding, therefore more patient. Maybe we can keep telling ourselves of the beauty of diversity and this will perhaps override our subconscious concerns.
What do you think about all of this? Do you find it hard to adapt to differences or does it come easy to you? If it is not easy, what do you do? If it is, how do you manage it?
I adapt easily to different people and I learn a lot from others’s perspectives. And you can discuss also with like minded people because in the end we are all unique!
Yes! I think until recently, I mostly had like-minded people, at least that is what I thought. Now, I am noticing how the like-minded people are different too.
I’m in a bit of a pickle because I’ve come to the realization that some of my friends are quite awful. Lovely at times, but selfish and using as well. It creates a bit of a problem. Especially because I sound like a jerk.
What do you mean ‘sound like a jerk’?
Yeah, some people might be more difficult to figure out. At the end of the day, we should do what is best for us.
My default setting is to assume I’m the one at fault: therefore, criticizing my friends, even if they’ve earned it, boomerangs back to a “me” problem in parts of my brain. I’m working on it 😊
Oh I see. I was like this too, but then I started saying good things to myself loudly without feeling them. It felt fake at the beginning but later, I internalized them. Did you try something like this before?
It’s funny you say that: I was doing that for a while, and it worked very well, and then I just stopped. I think I’ll start up again. Thanks for the reminder 💞
Please do it!:)
It’s fine to talk to people who hold alternative ideas; however, if they are closed-minded, it gets more difficult
You can imagine how stressful it has to be
Regardless of the differences, we should learn to cope. However, I’m curious as to how that individual is such a close friend, but you’ve only recently realized that you think differently.
Open-mindedness is the most important trait!
I think we are both going through a transformative phase in our lives, so that urge opened up conversations we never had before. Now we are getting closer
For day to day interactions, good manners is helping everyone getting along smoothly. Good manners is to make the other person feel comfortable. For example, we dogs should not jump on people, it is not comfortable for them, even though we are only showing affection. Make sure your friends have the proper training in manners. For more deeper relationships, best to get to know the individual at depth. /Flurry D. Dog
I agree to all points. Understanding the dynamics is vital. Then, we can understand what hurts people and what hurts us; what is good for people and what is good for us.
I quickly adapt to people and find opposite ideas fun to discuss; the issue that seems to be a problem for me is “virtually” dealing with people. My imagination feeds my insecurity, especially with social media. It reminds me of traffic, most people are fantastic, and then they get in their car and transcend into mania.
You mean, people might behave differently when the interaction is virtual?
Growing up a minister’s daughter, living and traveling in many places, and working at many jobs when I was young, I learned to interact with a wide variety of people. I enjoy conversations with most people, but I don’t want to form close associations with people I can’t trust, such as thieves, liars, manipulators, and insincere people. I think you learn more from those who are different from yourself, but for close friends and life partners, I think similarity is best.
Good discussion topic, Betul. <3 I enjoyed reading your post, and I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂
That is a good distinction! Too many differences between friends could be difficult to deal with, so similarity is better. But differences teach us a lot!
Thank you for dropping by and commenting! I love seeing you here! Happy Thanksgiving!
Good post, got me to thinking….I recently retired as a mall cop (working weekends) seeing people at their best and their worst and I still work full time in the mental health field (more people at their best and their worst). Some days I’m a glass-half-full guy and other days that glass is half-empty. Lately, I’m wrestling with the notion of posing a litmus test before entering into financial transactions since I’m finding it increasingly abhorrent to spend my hard earned dollars with persons, businesses, entities with whom I am diametrically opposed to and offended by. Wonder if others are feeling similar angst and if so what are you doing about it?
That is an interesting question! My job is isolating, so I did not deal with people as much as you did, but maybe if someone else has an idea, they can put it out here.
But do you have an alternative in mind yourself?
Viva la differences! It would be a frightening world indeed if everyone was like me Betul . . . count your blessings 😊
Yes!
In the same way you might think and write how much we are the same: We love our family and friends, we like to travel, we are curious about learning new things and get excited in a new country or culture. I know the trend is diversity at the moment, however only a trend which will be integrated soon enough and be followed by another trend.
That is true, but each time we learn from previous trends and blend it with the new one (at least, that is what I believe). I have been interested in what we share rather than how we are different, so this trend makes me happy. But you have a point. It will probably change at some point.
“I already live with myself 24/7, so when I meet others, I would prefer it if they were not me.”
I must save this quote. Unfortunately, many people feel the opposite way and so we develop echo chambers and social bubbles.
Aww, thank you! The bubbles give us safety, but there is more to life.