Perspective Change

Hello on another Sunday!

I am working on my Life Coach Certification and I am about to be done. My certification is based on a model called NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and the specific techniques in the method made me think of the importance of perspective in our lives.

NLP is a model that uses our neurological wiring and linguistic usage to reprogram how we see our issues. So, it is often about changing the perspective on the issue so that we can see it from a broader view. I am not too experienced in the techniques yet, but I have seen the effect it does on people in my assignments. So that made me think how important our perspective on our experiences is.

Let’s say you have been criticized for your performance at work or at school and you don’t like being criticized (well, I guess no one does). Now you have some options: (i) you go around blaming yourself for performing poorly, (ii) you go around blaming the person who criticized you, (iii) you try to think of what you learnt from this experience and (iv) you pretend nothing happened after all. What will happen with the first two is that you will get stuck in negative feelings. The last one will not give you anything. The third one will give you a better outlook. So, if you choose to go with the third option, you can tell the person who criticized you how thankful you are for the suggestions either in person or in your head. Then, you can start thinking about what you gained from it and hopefully apply it later.

Let’s say you broke up with someone. After you are done with the initial shock and the overflowing feelings, you can choose to stay with those feelings and think hard about why it happened. Or you can accept the situation and re-invent yourself. The first one is the familiar voice because the mind wants to keep what it already knows. But it does not give you much in the long run. The second one is scary but can open new doors for you later.

When you get a bad coffee for your coffee machine, you can regret it for days or you can take this as an experience and say ‘Now I know this coffee is not good’. You will then have suggestions to make to people.

It looks like opening up new ways of looking at issues can indeed give us new ways to make ourselves better and it can bring us closer to our potential. We have a choice to make.

Do you have a tendency to get stuck in one way of looking at things (I certainly do, which is why NLP helped me a lot)? Or can you see an issue from different perspectives? If you can, how did you manage to get that habit? Let’s talk about perspective-shifting today.

PS: I know that it is hard to see different perspectives in the initial stages of a break-up or in the face of criticism. There, I believe we should give ourselves time for our emotions to settle and then we can think about different perspectives. But getting emotions out comes first!


68 thoughts on “Perspective Change

  1. I love your post! For me, it took me a couple of years to overcome a traumatic experience. It was traumatic, because the situation left me in fear from ever moving forward. I overcame my fears with changing my perception, just as you mentioned above. I took what had happened to me, learned from it and found a new path in my life which I enjoy more. 😉

    I hope you will continue with a few more posts like this, as it will help many people out of their ‘frozen state of mind. KUDOS to you!!!

    1. I am glad that you are out of that experience and are healed.
      I really appreciate the last sentence in your comment. I am glad my post is helping! What an honor!

  2. Your post on perspective was very wise and powerful. I appreciate the examples you gave as a reference and I truly believe everyone who reads this can relate and take something from this. Best of luck on getting your certification. You’ll be great.🌿

  3. I’m aware that one way we can safely widen our perspective is through listening to the views that are built upon honesty. Different people experience different circumstances and may have learnt different things to you, leading them to where they are now. If you let them, they’ll let you see your life in a new lens. Someone might be able to tell you about the significance of community, whilst another tells you about individuality. In each case, someone might know its mental aspect, the spiritual or its biological. You can take it further and consider the practical forms each of those branches take.

    By the way, emphasis on the safety and honesty when it comes to listening to alternative views. Safety because sometimes you might absorb a perspective that has no good in like through desire or superstition; honesty because you know that the person had their lens built upon something good, so that even if their view is flawed, you can trace their view back to something good.

    1. Very good point on listening to other people! I was not doing that and then I started valuing other people’s perspectives. it broadens yours. But then, I started listening to other people too much, so it is important to keep a balance there and not forget your own self.

      1. I used to make the same mistake 😅

        I’d originally included a self aspect to my comment about exploration and experimentation in widening perspective, but it doubled the length of my comment and then I found I could’ve added another point, so I was like, “maybe I’ll keep it simple and stick to one”.

  4. I attended NLP training once and it changed my life. The facilitator helped with a auto hypnotic session to change the wiring about a childhood experience that seemed to have coloured my entire world view. It really helped me to be more centered. All the best for your certification!

  5. Good for you for pursuing a certification in NLP. I wish you well as you complete your course work and reach out to help others. I certainly have discovered in my 81 years of life that I respond much more favorably and get much better results – if I “give [myself] time for [my] emotions to settle” before mouthing off!!

  6. Hey Betul!

    Wonderful post.

    That’s a really insightful lesson. The power of perspective!

    I wish you the very best in your pursuit of the coach certification!

  7. It’s difficult to look through a different lens when looking at our own lives. It’s wonderful that you will soon be able to help people, as many can’t discover this on there own. Sharing is caring!

  8. I couldn’t agree with you more. Lovely article.

    Most of the challenges or limitations we face in life are due to our own mental blocks. A change in mindset / perspective really does go a long way to open a whole new world of opportunities.

  9. I think it helps to respect that feeling hurt is a normal reaction to a break up or criticism. I ask myself in these situations first:” What do I need now to grow back into emotional balance?” and then “What can I learn?”. Of course, it doesn’t always work but its a process of continuous learning and I like that 🤗😊

  10. Congratulations are the completion of your studies for your certificate.

    Until about ten years ago, I tended to go the negative route in situations as you’ve mentioned. I figured out I was just giving myself grief I didn’t need to carry around with me. There’s an awful lot of people out there who are clinging to that negative perspective in their lives. Your skills are going to be a great help.

  11. Very light-hearted and interesting post! 😊
    Being a part-time life coach for the past year and an NLP practitioner myself, I believe that NLP is a great way to help with perspective shifting. I wish you all the best Betul! ✌

      1. Yes..I do apply it as much as I can. You can only understand it deeper if you experience it yourself. NLP changed me a lot and made me have more understanding on “perception” and also give deeper meanings to negative encounters in life. I think everyone should have an idea about it to help him/her be a better version of themselves.

      2. You just need to give yourself sometime and it will come naturally to you; your mind will be set to think more positively.

  12. Thanks for your post. I’m a certified life coach and work with people going through the change process and NLP is one way to help change the way we think. Our thought patterns and behaviors are hard-wired at an early age but we can rewire our brains – neuroplasticity – by practicing different mind-sets and behaviors. The trick is in finding the need and willingness to do this. This type of deep change creates much fear in most people and it’s often only when the change we seek is infinitely better than the situation that we’re in. I’ve experienced changes in my perspective many times in my life but only after stubbornly refusing to do so for a long time. It took living in extreme unhappiness for a very long time and then a surprising spiritual experience for me to get there. But I’m so glad that I did. Best of luck to you as you move toward becoming a coach. You are entering a rewarding career.

    1. ’ve experienced changes in my perspective many times in my life but only after stubbornly refusing to do so for a long time.

      This so explains me. I always do that too. But as you say, the end result is always great. Maybe I can try to be less stubborn, though. NLP will hopefully help me.

  13. Some would say I am stuck in one perspective and there is some truth in that. For I am a firm believer that God brings good to us out of every situation – something to learn – something to change a wrong perspective- something that will make us stronger. We don’t welcome the bad things that happen but if we take the perspective that God will work good for us out of it we can endure it with purpose and even a sense of joy for what He is doing in us.

  14. I really enjoyed reading this post. I think shifting your perspective really just takes a conscious effort. It does for me, at least! And I think the final thought in the PS is key. Sometimes we can’t help how we feel. So thinking from a different perspective sometimes takes time as well.

  15. Brilliant post, very happy to discover this blog 😄
    I am tend to look at things from one negative perspective but learnt Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helped me throughout the years to question and find evidences against my cognitive biases (catastrophising, black and white thinking, generalising, mind reading – just to name a few). It has certainly made my life better since.

  16. That’s incredible that your getting you Life Coach certification, CONFRATULATIONS!! Wow, I always thought that was such a cool certification!

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