Is That All We Really Had To Say?!

Provided by Scherezade Ozwulo from Scherezade’s Labyrinth

Being an introvert in the corporate workplace is hard, hell, it’s a feat, exhausting, daunting, cumbersome, all of the effing above yet we gotta work to make ends meet or at least make them, period. Hence, we introverts go out into the working world with plastered on smiles, fake idle conversation, and constant eye contact to give the illusion we are similar to everyone else. This act in itself is all the above I mentioned.

Why do we put on the persona we are socially uniform? Because it makes others comfortable.

What others don’t realize or understand is there are levels to this thing of being introvertedly human (my phrase😉). Yes, socializing is fun. It’s healthy, but sometimes it can be too much for us. Which is why sometimes we answer right away.

Introverts, have you ever been asked a question and you’re stuck thinking of a proper response or witty retort? The person standing there looking at you as if you’re holding up the flow of conversation?

I hate it. I hate the look people give me when I can’t “think” fast enough for them.🤬 Rush to say anything that comes to mind first, then it’ll fumble and I’ll look foolish or weird🤪; think before speaking🧐 will cause the other to be like “forget it”. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. So, we resort to not saying anything at all and then we are antisocial.

Guess what antisocial means? “not sociable. Not wanting the company of others”. Which can be true for some introverts, not all. Some of us are social in small groups or when we aren’t bombarded with personal questions too soon for us to divulge with others; socializing takes time with introversion. The social ones look forward to conversation just don’t hit all at once. Levels to this thing remember?

Hence, today’s topic. Being introvertedly human in the corporate workplace. I read an article, titled Two Magic Words Introverts Can Say To Make Communication Easier . Basically, the article discusses unconscious bias- how people view others unconsciously e.g. people who talk out front know more. As long as I’ve been working, this notion is so NOT true. But it’s what many people follow. This is where discernment comes in, an introvert’s superpower. Once a loud know it all begins offering up information, we can tell if their bullshitting or not.

Now there are loud people who do know things and are accurate, but those others, boy they are tiiieedd (tired)! The latter are the ones who are pushed up in ranks and don’t know how to do nothing; they secretly come to you for the answers while they get the credit.🤬🤬🤬

It’s life yet we go on. Or a Milton is pulled🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (favorite movie of all time, hands down!!)

I took this quote from the article, which sums up a good portion:

If an introvert’s organization tends to lean toward extroversion, than even well-meaning extrovert managers may unconsciously reward the talk-it-out-ers while inadvertently sidelining the think-before-you-speak-ers. (That was the take-away from the unconscious bias training.) Indeed, the amount that people talk is often taken as a proxy of expertise – rather than actual subject-matter knowledge or experience.

This is true…sometimes. My experience, I worked with managers who literally only dealt with talk-it-outers, who they knew screwed up everything yet used the quiet ones as the cleanup crew.

Some advice: Attention managers, don’t do this. It doesn’t help. Hold those accountable, period.

Back to the article…for introverts to get through their workday or any verbal communication is to say two words “I’m Thinking. Simple.

If we aren’t supplying answer right away, it’s because we’re ignoring you, we are thinking of the right thing to say. We are processing information similar to a computer. We’re taking in the question and matching up against our morals, values, statutes, reconciling it against memories, etc. Whatever helps us to provide a correct answer or response.

Some more advice: Don’t keep asking us while we’re processing; it’ll get us thinking back to square one and our heads may🤯🤯🤯🤯 POP!! Or we may🤬🤬🤬🤬

Being introvertedly human is tough when many within the world view talking as the only form of communication. We write too, it’s here we do our best communication. In writing, we’re not caught off guard. We have time to articulate thoughts and feelings. Verbal communication within the workplace sometimes doesn’t allow for this, hence us being looked past.

I get it; time is money, but wouldn’t most corporate workplaces value the right answer over a quick one?

So, the best thing to say is I’m Thinking. Maybe, they’ll back off, maybe they’ll look at you like you got two heads, maybe they’ll get offended- either way you provided a response.

Originally posted on Scherezade’s Labyrinth

16 thoughts on “Is That All We Really Had To Say?!

  1. So true. I’m the admin manager for a small company I helped start with my cousin. He’s an extrovert. I’m very much the introvert. He’s always on at me about why I prefer to email people than just talk to them. Two reasons, I’ll probably be more clear, and I’ll have a written record of what was said. I don’t mind talking to people for trivial things, but when it comes to chasing invoices, payroll queries, or making sure I know what supplies need ordering, I’d rather do it in writing. He doesn’t get it.

    1. It makes sense to email within the company for that very reason you mentioned- clarity and record. How many times have you told or asked someone about missing paperwork and they forget or say that conversation never happened? BOOM, you got the written record right there.

      And you get tired of chasing after grown ups, talking at them to do their job😞

      1. Oh yes, I went through that very process yesterday. Thing is, you’re not thanked for it because the person is embarrassed they forgot or whatever and you’re suddenly become the ‘bad guy’ for getting on to them or making them look bad. I’m getting t-shirts made, lol.

      1. What you call “rambling” ought to be done more often as it brings light and soothes others that might feel unsettled within my Dear Ozwulo. Again thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Yes! Very well written post!
    I’m a big fan of email. I only call if the matter has time restriction.
    I’ve avoided working for large companies for exactly all the reasons you’ve mentioned. Last thing I want is to have to share work duties with another person 😣 I’ll end up having to do all their work to prevent mistakes, then I get mad that I’m doing all the work!

    1. Thank you WGD☺ I too, only pick the phone if its utterly important; there are so many personalities great and small within large companies, it’s easy for the small to become swallowed up. We introverts tend to keep order within that cacophony so we’re needed- may not seem like we’re noticed but we are definitely needed

  3. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚜. 𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 (𝙸’𝚖 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛) 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝙸 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜; 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎. (𝙰𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎.) 𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚞𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚙! 𝚆𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍. 🕊

    1. Yes, SDX☺ so much to.offer the world.

      I’ve grown more extroverted over the years too, especially since I’ve become a mother. It’s something about being the voice for someone else that adds strength to yours. I know you see this as a teacher also?

      1. 𝙰𝚋𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢! 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝: 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎. 💕

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