If you’re reading this, you surely are a very curious human being (if you’re an alien, I apologize for calling you a human being). And so am I! What I’ve noticed is that curiosity manifests itself in different ways because the subjects people are curious about differ from one person to another. Some are curious about what others do, others are curious about what is happening in this world, whilst some others are curious about the past. Personally, I’m curious about how humans “work”. What are the reasons behind someone’s behavior.
One of the biggest advantages I find in writing is that I can express my ideas from the beginning until the end without interruption. This becomes pretty difficult when interacting with people because they tend to interrupt and that can bend or interrupt my flow of ideas. Sometimes it’s a good thing, but most of the time it’s bad. Oh, so bad! And they lie too! This is why I tend to pay more attention to someone’s behavior instead of the words that come out, especially when I try to express something.
Lately, my way of communicating is resumed to asking questions because people love to talk about themselves. They’ll do it anyway, so why shouldn’t I use this to try finding out what makes that person tick so I can satisfy my curiosity as well along with making that person feeling better?
Curiosity can be the cure for social anxiety
I noticed that when you’re curious about someone, you tend to pay attention to that person instead of yourself and that enables you to concentrate your efforts to find out more about that person instead of trying to think about what to say next. This “what to say next” behavior is actually the root cause of this social anxiety. You get to believe you don’t know how to behave because you don’t know what to talk about, but if you switch that from you to him/her, things start to be really good. The anxiety will diminish or disappear, you’ll be more appreciated for being a great listener and you’ll get to know that person better. What more can you want from a conversation?
I know it is a challenge sometimes to keep your mouth shut and don’t talk about yourself just at it is a challenge sometimes to stop thinking about what should you say next or that it’s awkward, but I believe the key for diminishing social anxiety is curiosity.
What are you curious about?