92 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 392

      1. I would then have found a kindred spirit as it would allow us to talk on equal terms. If we disagreed on something instead of someone say “you always do that”, we would have agreed to only use adjustable language and so the other could object and let them know that “always” is an absolute term. This would be the beginning of a way of seeing and interacting with the world in a whole new light and allow each of us to object rather than get angry. Because of this new fairness we could discuss any subject and no one could try bully the other into submission using absolute and false facts. Well that is what my brother and I have been doing for the last 15 years.

  1. I have a speech impairment, so people have trouble understanding me. And apparently, my writing needs work, cause people have trouble understanding it. It makes sense to me, but some reason not to them, unless they’ve known me for a long time. My grammar is a bit rusty..

      1. Thank you, that means a lot to me, I think most of my issues are on facebook. Maybe I should just stick to blogging. lol

  2. Not to be too straightforward …and in the event that I am very enthusiastic , it is hard to discipline myself, be patient ( I am a very quick thinker) and listen to the other person.

      1. You might be right. I am very passionate in discussions / debates. But on the other hand people used to think that I am very much in self-control and never lose my “contenance” in critical situations. The truth is that I am very emotional and tend to be impulsive that is the reason why I avoid to be spontaneous. In the relevant situation, I am very head-strong and cool. Later on, as soon as I am alone the emotions belonging to the incident pop up.
        I figured out that I feel misunderstood sometimes because I don’t give others the chance to get a direct, immediate emotional feedback from me. The tougher the situation, the cooler I am.

    1. That’s a very high standard Jen that you have set for yourself, to “…. always speak from my heart with honesty, integrity, and authenticity”. I come from the opposite end of the spectrum & aim to be less dishonest, less inconsistent & less inaccurate, and generally less insincere. You might say that it is just semantics but I would say semantics is a very important part of communication especially with oneself.

      1. Well Desmond, that ‘standard’ I have is something that I aim for I guess you would say? It’s hard to put being ‘honest and acting in integrity’ at all times into actual practice. But I’ve noticed in life that if I allow my ‘ego’ to get involved in situations when dealing with people that I don’t stay true to myself and I make dumb decisions. I don’t know if that makes sense lol.
        And yes, semantics is important. 🙂

      2. I guess the point I was trying to make Jen, is that personally, I think it is easier to push away from a negative value attribute than to try attain an absolute positive one. Such as insincerity rather than sincerity for example.

      1. All the time, but it gets worse when I’m uncomfortable or extremely exited. I just make sure to be aware of how fast I’m talking and slow it down.

  3. I think for me it’s understanding what people want from a conversation – I might just want to say something and be done, but others want to chat. Small talk doesn’t come as naturally to me as it seems to do for others.

    1. I get that feeling often. I’m not a big fan of small talks either so when I “have to” have one, I ask questions and I’ll let that other person do the talking.

    1. Well, practicing makes it better. Would you say that there are some sort of emotions or anxiety involved and that makes you trip over your words?

  4. This is going to sound ridiculous, but I’m gay, and whenever I’m either talking to customers at work, or people outside of work, I always have this creeping thought about whether they would accept me if I knew. I usually have a pretty decent read on people, and it shouldn’t matter in accordance with the conversation or the circumstance, as it’s usually a fleeting moment, but it bothers me. And this affects my communication with them, especially with (presumably) straight men that I find attractive. I feel I should be more “masculine” and sometimes adjust my speech to be more “on their level.” This isn’t always the case, but it happens regularly.

      1. That’s the thing; I don’t usually care what other people think of me, especially tertiary people I may not see again. It’s just this weird “instinct” I guess you could say, to blend in. I’m not exactly sure where it came from or if there was a catalyst. On any given day I see several of the same people. And again, I don’t always feel this way and I’m trying to break myself of the habit.

  5. To be a better listener, especially when talking to those wiser than me. Also by listening you will also learn who isn’t wiser and then take what is said with the right weight.

    1. In my opinion, listening and paying attention to non-verbal languages bring much more benefits than talking does… I guess that’s why it’s harder.

      1. I think quieting my brain and slowing down and being open, trying to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I try these things now but sometimes my emotions get the best of me.

  6. Sometimes I never know when my social anxiety is going to take a hold of me and make me act in ways I have no control over when I’m typically a very outgoing open person.

  7. This question has to be up there with the other ultimate life questions such as our origin, meaning of life and so fourth.
    The biggest issue isn’t with the audience, its the speaker who often fails to align thoughts with verbal language

    1. I think it depends of the audience too, but it’s probably the speaker’s responsibility to choose his/her words wisely. But most of the time is not about the talking, but about the listening.

  8. Find it difficult to engage because before I have even finished talking I can see the other person has already formed their reply regardless of what else I have to say.

  9. Communication is very difficult for me as I have hearing difficulties and central vision loss so struggle to lip-read. 95% of people refuse to adapt to my communication needs which is incredibly frustrating!

      1. I lost my hearing at the end of 2016 after a cold. Lost my central vision 3 months later prior to a suspected TIA

  10. Fear of not being listened to. I feel, so often, that I’m ignored, so I lose confidence in delivering my thoughts and become quiet due to the nagging feeling of being unheard. I shut down. I then feel like I have nothing useful to say in the process and it becomes a perpetual cycle of negativity inside my head.

  11. My verbal communication is rather flat, I say what I mean without much emotion. I remain calm and level, but it is not always well received. My words may be strong and precise, but the emotional animation is not there to drive them home. It upsets some people.

  12. Well lately, people I interact with do not listen or interrupt or talk over me, so clearly I cannot communicate. However, I started ignoring them altogether, or just not engage in conversation, let them talk and hear nothing. And when they ask I say I heard nothing, and they get frustrated but still seek my company. Go figure!

      1. It’s the only way I know how to be. If someone asks me something I assume they want to know the answer so I give them the absolute truth and I don’t sugar coat. I don’t like liars so I guess I’m the other extreme.

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