The relationship with your problems

the relationship with problems
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

   Problems are everywhere and they are never-ending. And still… we try to dodge them as the devil dodges holy water. We somehow have the idea that being happy and fulfilled means we have no problems. I believe this is wrong. Being happy has nothing to do with the amount of problems we have, but our mind has a habit in relating the two and since problems are everywhere and never-ending, how can we be happy and fulfilled?

   Of course, you cannot be happy if your car breaks down or you miss out the bus and you have to wait for another 15-20 minutes in brutal cold. You can’t be happy about the fact that some random person starts yelling at you for no f*cking reason and you can’t be happy if you get into a pointless fight with a significant person. It will happen and you know it. But that doesn’t mean it has to lower your overall state. Sure, you’ll be pissed in the beginning, but each problem is a moment in your life. If you get to see your life as a bunch of problems, the life itself is a problem, don’t you think? If that’s the case, how can you explain the fact that there are people extremely happy? They have problems too, but they choose to view those problems just as some things they have to deal with. Some things they have to do while living.

   “But those people don’t have the problems I have! Mine are real and important! I need to focus on them!” Really? All problems are real and important, but the degree they’re affecting your life depends on your view about them. Those happy people have problems too, but they just don’t give them so much importance. And just to clarify: I’m not saying to ignore them or to procrastinate. I’m saying to deal with them as something you need to do. Just like breathing. Actually, treat problems like oxygen. Take it all in.

   Just as you, I deal with problems daily. And when a new one appears, it’s just like a new breath. I try to expect everything and nothing in the same time and because of this, I’m not surprised when a new problem appears. I am pissed off in the beginning because I need to re-organize my schedule to fit in that new problem and I need to find the time and money (if it’s the case) to deal with it, but I have no choice. They are all around the corner. If you know that, you cannot be surprised when one jumps in front of you.

   What’s your relationship with your problems?

36 thoughts on “The relationship with your problems

  1. I agree with you. It’s beautifully expressed. I feel that each such relationship is unique in its own way because of human behaviour. For me, I always believe in analyzing myself whenever I am in a problem. It makes the situation more understandable and breathable thus, also gives me some or the other kind of solution to deal with it.

    1. Whenever there is a problem, there also is a solution. I’m sure there are people that have been through something similar and they managed to overcome it somehow.

      1. Absolutely. Its like we would not have got the concept of happiness if we would have not faced sad phases in our lives. Problems take place to make us worth while. 🙂

  2. Very interesting. Its such a common thing to think that part of being happy means not having problems however we often forget life is not a smooth road .Definitely going to try adopting this mindset.

  3. This is a beautiful post , I must say I feel same way too . I see my problems as obstacles I have to move through in order to get to my next level. We always face challenges in our life , when we think its over then the next occur but that shouldn’t weigh us down. We should always strive through and overcome them thanks for sharing this

  4. “I try to expect everything and nothing in the same time and because of this, I’m not surprised when a new problem appears.”

    I like this. Being attached to outcomes leaves the universe little room to help us.

  5. Everyone has problems. It’s how you deal with them that separates happy people from unhappy people. Live with grace and allow nothing to consume or disrupt you. Inspiring and insightful. Great post!!

  6. This is such a timely post. I needed to read this right now. “Treat problems like oxygen, take it all in”.
    Sound advice.

    You’re absolutely right, having problems doesn’t mean we are cannot be happy. It’s all a matter of perspective and how one deals with said problems. Good post.

  7. I’m working on seeing the benefit or potential positive of problems. It doesn’t make me “happy” but it does provide peace.

  8. In my experience, problems will always be present in your life. However, your mindset determines if you will be happy despite your problems. Matthew 6:27,34 says, “Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.” Focusing on my blessings helps me overlook small problems and prayer helps me get through the big stuff. With God’s help we can maintain a happy state despite trials and hard times.

  9. yes I like this. thanks. I now try to keep a positive slant on stuff ( don’t always manage it ) so that if something does change or go wrong I bust a gut to think it is for a reason and I will learn something from it. I am not a saint and it does annoy me but as you say over thinking is death. Save that for 3am waking moments 🙂

  10. I believe it’s important to focus on the problem itself… sure emotions can get in the way. But if you can change state and question the situation and frame it in a effective way… you can get through the problem easily. For example ask yourself “how can I see things differently? or what opportunities can be learned/gained from this situation?”.

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