Provided by Scherezade Ozwulo from The Introverted Christian
*originally posted on The Introverted Christian*
I came across this article, Do You Put Up Emotional Walls, Based on Your Personality Type – Personality Growth and it instantly got me thinking, do I erect foundation supports or do I build foundation structures to protect things inside? Protection vs. Support
According to the website personalitygrowth.com, each personality has their own “walls” they put up when dealing with people. I can’t speak for everyone, so I’ll talk about my personality type – INFP.
INFPs try to be more open with their feelings and don’t like building up too many walls. For the INFP it is best to be themselves and to share their feelings whenever it feels right. They follow what they personally believe in and have strong inner morals. For the INFP putting up walls can close them off from opportunities and from living the way they want to. Most of the time they are open people, who can’t really shut themselves off from their feelings. – personalitygrowth.com
When I was a chap (southern slang for kid, also one of my favorite words😊), I shared alot of myself without aplomb. I would talk to anyone about anything, everyone was my friend( my mom hated when I said “my friend” when I talked about someone. “Everyone is not your friend” she would constantly tell me). During my adolescent/teen years, that notion of friend changed. Why? Maybe it had to do with abstract thought, processing concepts on a much deeper level? Breaking down parameters and characteristics of what it means to be a friend?
What I actually started doing was analyzing people’s actions, listening to what they didn’t say versus what they actually said i.e. reading between the lines, and reacting from their vibe; this was my gold standard of trust. If I felt comfortable enough to share myself with you, then you were worthy. Then I wouldn’t erect a wall.
Personally speaking, walls were my protection. Walls kept me safe from hurt, pain, ridicule. If I didn’t share myself, I wouldn’t be made fun of; if I made myself invisible (which was hard to do because I am tall), no one would notice how awkward I looked. Only my closest friends, knew the real me; I kept everyone else in mystery.
Now, I build foundational structures for support, by helping cheer on the underdog which in turn, gives me the courage to stand up and voice. Having a foundational support to lean on is better than surrounding oneself with protective barriers because now you have the courage to speak up. I rather lean than be caged in.
What kind of walls do you put up?
How have they helped or hindered you?