A few days ago I talked about how holding a grudge can interfere with our lives. In reality, it’s not that easy to let it go. Here is what Jacque Salome and Sylvie Galland think it can help:
“When you’re letting yourself touched, hurt by the other, you can diminish your discomfort, your suffering that’s in you: For example, you can violently write on a piece of paper, without hesitation, your accusations, your anger, your despair. Write for yourself and throw the papers away when the storm calmed down. Symbolize your situations through objects. Give yourself some instant gratifications, like chocolate (for Marina Svetaia, chocolate was the ideal remedy for sadness… in homeopathic doses) or a bath (the water absorbs the negativity, it washes it away), to bandage the wound. Draw or paint what’s going on inside you.”
I’m not sure about that chocolate part because it can create some strong sadness-food associations which can be harmful to the body, but the rest of those strategies seem to be helpful. For me, watching a fire burn can be very helpful and if you have those angry papers, throw them on fire for extra effect (if you have it written on a laptop, please don’t burn it).
This writing on a paper and destroying that paper works because this way we’re placing those negative feelings into a physical object (in this case, paper) which are getting destroyed. Actually, this is a common practice for some psychotherapists. The final touch here is the watching part. We need to watch that paper getting destroyed for the effect to be complete.
Have you ever tried this? If so, did it help you?
The chocolate thing works on some levels just because it triggers the same endorphins as sex, just to a lesser degree. I agree with you that it also creates a dangerous feedback loop, and chocolate becomes a crutch.
Burning the paper (or some other representation) is classic magic going back centuries. They couldn’t explain why it worked, only that it did, hence it was magic. I’ve used it a number of times. Works beautifully. Fire is the ultimate purifier. It destroys indiscriminately and leaves behind fertile soil for creation of something new. That symbolism is in a lot of cultures for just that reason.
Yes, if we’re transferring our frustration to that object and we’re burning it, the frustration gets burned as well. Interesting stuff 🙂
I actually have tried thought dumping into a journal before, then burning the journal. My therapist from a few years ago introduced me to that technique. For an alternate method, I also write negative feelings on new ceramic plates, then smash the plates (which is loads of fun).
Great post!
I use a sharpie on the plates, of course.
That’s for extra effect 😀
Thank you! Yes, it helps any destroying of any representation of our frustration.
punch the pillow – it helps :))
Yes, it totally helps!
😂👍
Never tried the paper burning thing😅😅 But, taking deep breaths and talking with myself or my friends works for me 😁😁
Talking yourself out of some tension can help as well 😀
I’m doing it now my therapist recommended it and I like it.. it’s like letting it go for good
Yes… it feels like some weight gets taken away from your shoulders 🙂
I love the catharsis of just letting my furt fly with pen and paper, followed by the secondary releif of burning it. If I’m still upset, I flush the ashes. Works terrifically!
Flushing the ashes gives extra catharsis 😀 Awesome job!
This is actually what made me think of a blog. It’s too often my verbal conversations go over people’s heads. Writing it down helps me communicate better. I’ll text before I call anyone, lol. But I’m not really one to want to forget anything. Never know when that information can help out.
Yes, I understand that. Writing has so many benefits. It clears the ideas we have and because of that we can understand them better and we can also express them better to others.
I”ve never tried that, but I have a tradition on new years eve of writing down any and all regrets of that year and tossing that slip of paper into the fire.
It’s kind of the same thing. How do you feel when you watch that paper burn?
I don’t know the chocolate thing either.. but yeah.. creating, music, art helps me .. 🙂