Everything happens for a reason!

fuel for your soul
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

But what is that reason and what influences it? Where all that power comes from? Is indeed a power or we just see like it because it’s easier to blame everything on destiny instead taking responsibility for whatever happened?

I like how Tai Lopez says that yes, everything happens for a reason, even the bad things, but most of the time the reason is ourselves. We f*cked up and that’s why we have the life we have right now.

All those quotes like “If it’s meant to be, it will happen” create hope, but in the same time it takes the responsibility from us and it places it to the destiny. Is that fair? Should we rely on destiny for whatever happens? Even when we don’t get what we really want, we tend to place the blame on that destiny or worse, we blame ourselves but as a whole, not as a set of habits. For example, if someone doesn’t get the promotion that person wants, he or she will tend to blame himself/herself for that because he/she thinks that he/she is not good enough or that he/she is a bad person (the introverts out there with a low-self esteem know what I’m talking about). The loved ones around that person will try to show support saying that it wasn’t meant to be right now when the real reason is that he/she probably didn’t work hard enough for that promotion. That doesn’t mean he/she is not good enough and also it has nothing to do with the type of person he/she is. Of course, there are other situations when there are some unfair arrangements there, but that’s not on destiny, it’s on shitty people.

Yes, everything happens for a reason and that reason might have more with us than we want to admit. So my advice is: if you want that promotion, go all in for it! If you want that girl or that boy, go ask him/her out, don’t just wait around for the destiny to arrange things for you. Whatever you want in life, go for it! Maybe the destiny needs a kick in the ass to go to your direction!

How often do you refuse to take responsibility for whatever happened in your life?

36 thoughts on “Everything happens for a reason!

  1. Personal choices have effects…whether good or bad. If it’s a bad effect, geesh, it’s so hard to accept although learning from mistakes is the best way to make improvements.
    I think it’s essential for people, of all ages, to learn how to be accountable for their actions. Big life lessons.

  2. I hate that cliche “Everything happens for a reason”. Sorry, not sorry. I do not believe that. I think it is our human way of trying to make sense of a world that often doesn’t make sense. Shit happens. Great, wonderful events and awful, horrific events. However, our perception is going to frame what we are able to derive or feel or learn from said events. Life can really knock you around through zero fault of your own. What can I do with that shit sandwich? Well that is up to me. I believe that I am accountable for my actions and attitude.
    Also, as a pice of advice- Don’t tell people going through some trauma like an accident or death or divorce “Everything happens for a reason” or you may get throat punched. I don’t know anyone who felt better after hearing that statement.

    1. My point exactly! Each situation is our responsibility because we’re the ones seeing it and handling it. I know people that feel better after hearing this because they tend to put the responsibility elsewhere instead of themselves. Great comment!

  3. There are things that I literally had NO control over – I’m not owning that mess. The stuff I’ve made into a crapfest, well, I need to take out the shovel and start cleaning up. Sure there are things that happen for a reason – you get rear ended by some fool playing with their phone. There’s the reason – that shouldn’t imply there’s a higher cause for this event. Own what you do, good or bad, and freaking make it right to the best of your ability if you screw it up.

    1. I agree that there are things that happen without our control, but if we’re affected, it’s our duty to own the way we’re affected. Otherwise our feelings will be in the control of who messed things up in the first place. At least, that’s how I see things.

      1. I think it depends on a lot of factors. You can feel hurt, sad, angry, lost, heartbroken over a natural disaster that impacts you – and I believe you SHOULD feel all those things to get to a healthier place. If you feel that way because some clown cuts you off in traffic, or you lose an earring – yeah – rethink how you respond.

  4. During the past five years, a whole set of circumstances occurred that have now resulted in me being in a position to follow a dream. The circumstances weren’t great to start with, and had I chosen to respond less constructively to them, I wouldn’t be in a position where I am now pursuing my dream. So, I look back and I tell myself that they appear to have happened for the purpose of my dream being more available to me, and because it was a dream that I had given up on years prior, that feels nice; it feels as though I was presented with an opportunity that I didn’t expect. However, personal responsibility and action are still required. If I had not owned my part in the set of circumstances that occurred (and a lot of it was my own unintentional doing), or had responded differently, or had not taken any action, I would never have seen the opportunity. So I think I see the saying “things happen for a reason” as a way of helping us to become curious about the reason and the possibilities so that we can then take action. What we do with that is our responsibility. And it could quite well be that one reason that something happens is to remind us to own our choices because, as you said, stuff often happens as a result of our choices.

      1. I am looking at moving from a IT career to a career as a coach and facilitator, and am currently kicking off a business so that I can eventually do that.

  5. Interesting read. I have 2 points to make. 1. Qi Lu said that the opportunity bus comes around every 15 minutes. He challenges folks as follows – Are you ready to board it? Will you board it? 2. There is an ‘acceptance cup’ into which goes everything, that you have no control over [Qi Lu did not say this – it is just a phrase I read somewhere). So, my suggestion would be to realize both sides of the coin and find a nice balance. 🙂

  6. I believed Everything happens for a reason. I know we are responsible for our own life. But that line surely gives you hope when you understand nothing…

  7. Exactly, get up and do it. That promotions lies on befriending someone? Do it! It relies on hard work? Do it! Everything happens because everything has an equal and opposite reaction. Even if you don’t get that promotion somewhere but you know you worked hard for it, find it somewhere else. Don’t just give up! You have to fail to succeed. And yes, unfortunately this takes awhile for us introverts to figure this out! Love this post!

  8. I believe that everything does happen for a reason, the reason may not be obvious for months or years but when you look back you know it was meant to be. Sometimes life has been crappy and other times fantastic, but good or bad if these things didn’t happen to me I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I have to say I like the person I am and I have done so for a long time.

  9. Tai Lopez is a smart man.
    Every single problem in this world is man made. Regardless if it’s planned or spontaneously displayed.
    But of course we like to think of ourselves as the best thing since slice bread, so we often shift/blame/create “explanations” for the consequences of our actions

  10. We all would like to think that there is some good cause for everything that happens in the world, especially for what happens to us in our own lives, but the truth is sometimes things happen to us and sometimes things happen because of us or our actions or inactions. There may be an explanation for what happens. There may be causes for our suffering, just as there are causes for our successes. There may be a way to figure out WHY certain things come about, but just as often, we may not be able to discern a cause or source or rationale for the events that take place in our life experiences. Such blanket expressions are not particularly useful nor do they make our lives seem any easier in the face of challenges or troubles.

    We cannot control what happens TO us many times, but we can often decide how we are going to act as a result of what happens. We can take whatever talents we manage to acquire and squander them or strive to improve them and put them to good use. Even when doing so, we may not succeed at what we are striving to accomplish, but life isn’t just about RESULTS; it’s also about the journey itself. We may or may not become successful no matter what happens to us or because of us, but we must choose our path when we can, and follow that path as best we can. Destiny is something we can choose to do or to try to do, but we can also ignore it.

    When we fail to choose, or fail to try, or fail to act when we should, that’s when fate takes over. What we work toward to the best of our ability is our destiny, fulfilled or not, and we have to acknowledge that our participation is essential in achieving our destiny. Whatever happens will have some sort of explanation ultimately, but the outcome may not be for any particular reason, or it may have as a reason, our determination to achieve it. It’s up to us.

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