How to surround yourself with the people you need

Wanna set a better goal
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

Have you ever wondered why that cliché with you are the result of your 5 closest friends’ mindset exists? It’s because it’s real (“No shit, Sherlock!”). The idea behind this is very simple: the more time you spend with certain people, the more of their mindset will sip into you because you’re going to talk and to the same things over and over again.

What we do on a daily basis defines our life, including the way we think. So if your friends whine about how tough the life is without any desire to do something to change it, guess what you’ll hear every day? And if you hear that every day, it will become part of your thinking, unless you are surrounded by a different perspective as well. Influence is everywhere and because of this, we can easily be influenced by our surroundings, especially by the things or people for which we have some sort of feelings (you care about your friends, right?).

There are some steps required to “find” the people you need:

  • First of all, you need to define and specify the type of people you want and need in your life (can you find something if you’re not looking for!?);
  • Then you need to find the environment in which those people exist;
  • After you find out where those people are, you need to put yourself in those situations so you can connect with them (this doesn’t necessarily need to be physical… you can connect with them through YouTube videos, books, blogs and so on);
  • And the last step is to… keep doing the previous step every day and the more time you spend in those situations, the more of their mindset will transfer to you (don’t worry, you won’t suck them dry).

Think about yourself as an influencer as well, because that’s what you are. You are one of those 5 people for somebody so think about the way you behave around those people. Is your behavior helpful for them? What about for you? Do you offer the mindset people need or you offer the mindset people would be better off without? Everybody influences everybody so think about the influence you offer.

Are you the person people need or are you the one that brings negativity in other people’s lives?

30 thoughts on “How to surround yourself with the people you need

  1. This may well be why I connect with people from different backgrounds, who offer different points of view. My idea of Hell is that of an active mind, trapped in a body that can’t, or won’t, move. The same can be true of people who are trapped in an environment, where there is only one mindset.

  2. On one hand, I think it is a very good advise…certainly because I was disappointed from family, friends and colleagues in the past.
    On the other hand, it reminds me on target-oriented business-like networking that is usually based on cost/benefit assessments and so on.
    I feel a bit uncomfortable because it sounds quite calculated. To categorize people just according their potential for adding value to your life….and to virtually open a kind of secret balance sheet…is still a strange concept for me.
    But maybe it is time for trying something new?

    1. It is calculated, but I don’t think it diminishes the power of it. And it is only another way to look at things. Maybe it a more proper way to look at it if the desire is to move forward and improve your life?

  3. I won’t find happiness trying to live someone else’s life in order to impress them… it is my life, I am the only one that can live it, will only get one chance at it so will so it my way in order to know and feel happiness… it will be up to others whether to accept or deny… 🙂

    “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary” Steve Jobs

      1. Hmmmmmmmmmm, I see… well, I do respect, understand and work with others and in a constant state of learning, however, I am quite content on the path I have chosen so the words “admire” or “admiration” do not come into play… whatever others think of me are by their own choosing… 🙂

        “I am free born and free bred, where I acknowledge no man as my superior, except for his own worth, or as my inferior, except for his own demerit.” Theodore Roosevelt

  4. I don’t have close friends. This is my choice. I have like minded person in my environment and this is the only one that can share everything with. Other people around me they just people without connection. 💖

  5. For me it goes both ways, be the kind of person that you want to be around. We can set the tone for those around us. For ages people didn’t complain around me because I wasn’t receptive to it, & we have a really good laugh at (work) lunch. I don’t see it as that calculated, it’s natural to want to spend more time with people you enjoy being with, & less with those you don’t.

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