Not everybody takes advices!

What is Confirmation Bias
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

   Have you ever given an advice and the person that received it did nothing with it? How did you felt when that happened?

   Even though people need advices, they’re not always prepared to receive it because they’re not prepared to act upon it. Maybe they can’t or maybe they don’t want to do it, but until they do need that piece of advice, the information is lost. People want to improve their lives, but they want little to no effort or change. They want for everything to be different, but the same. They want the world to do it their way so their “plan” works out. But guess what? People are very different. Even friends and family. Maybe we are similar in some areas, but totally different in others, which is ok. What’s not ok is to expect that everybody does things your way.

   The thing with advices is that sometimes an advice is not what the “receiver” would like to do with his/her life. Other times the advice is spot on, but the effort seems too big. And sometimes the advice has nothing to do with reality. Either way, I believe an advice must be kept in our tool kit so we can see if/when we can use it.

   As for giving advices, some people say it’s rude to offer an advice if you are not asked to do it. Others say that it’s an additional information and that it can be useful. I believe that communication and knowledge are potential power and because of this, I try to take and give advices as much as I can because some piece of information can make the difference in someone’s life.

   Which one of the advices you’ve received had the biggest impact in your life?

38 thoughts on “Not everybody takes advices!

      1. Thankyou. It’s a common mistake people make as the English language is not always logical. Another word that is both singular and plural is sheep where as mouse and mice has a different ending for singular and plural. I think I wrote about this a couple years back.

      2. I learned that for a computer “mouse”, it is appropriate to say mouses or mice for the plural form. Just another little exception to the rule to remember.

      3. I believe initially it was only considered correct to say mouses with respect to computers, but that was too confusing, so mice was allowed. You’re right – it is way easier to just say mice.

  1. Never let Wordsmiths and Eloquent speakers Dissuade you from getting your point across. My Brother has a Degree in English Literature yet he never wrote anything, not even a Blog. I never went to College yet I am more Eloquent than the bunch of Snobs that surrounds him, they read my Blogs and never once left a Comment of Advice, saying Tony you are good or Tony you are full of Shit, not even from my own Brother. Finally, my advice is, Educating a Fool is like Kissing in the Wind.

    1. Yeah… people talk and when they don’t talk, the silently judge. Either way, it’s not a reason to stop. It’s merely a reason to get better…

  2. I don’t give advice. If someone asked I do. But I will not lose my sleep if that person never applied this advice. Why should I? I think it is right thing to do. Well, the best advice that I have got and applying with success in my life that This is not my responsibility to mind other people decisions and emotions.

  3. That is why I stopped giving advises if they are not really required (meaning if the person does not literally say “what do you think about it?” or “what should I do, in your opinion?”, because otherwise I was feeling like I was wasting time, words and effort.

    I don’t think I ever received an advice with a very powerful impact – indeed I have received some which were valuable when applied to one specific situation in that moment, but nothing life-changing. A good one I received, though, was “try it, even if you’re scared!” and it has been a good push when I needed one.

  4. Best phrase or advice I take to heart is “Don’t think your shit don’t stink.” Your article is spot on! If people ask me for help, I give it but there is a limit. If you continue to ask and not act, the freebies are over.

  5. If I want to give an advice to people and it seems they don’t want it, I ask questions first. As much as possible, I’d like them to realize what the right path is first.

  6. Sometimes, we just can’t put what we see best into people’s throats. In most circumstances, they don’t see like we see. Sometimes, it takes hopelessness for people to hear out an advice.

  7. The best advice I was ever given: “breathe”. The second was to just listen. The third is similar to the second, ask “what can I do? / what do you want from me?” & then you know whether someone wants advice, or help in some other form, or just a friendly ear.

    1. These three advices are great to stop you from reacting to the situation and you can reflect a little! I’m glad you know and apply them! Who gave you these advices?

      1. Various people over the years (& books, & blogs, & talks). They’re kind of obvious through experience too, comparing how it feels to be on the receiving end of advice, I told you so, & someone just giving me a hug…

  8. One of my colleagues told me that I should write since I have perspective and my simplistic writing is my niche and not a roadblock. I was a little apprehensive at first, but took the advise. It has brought me a lot of happiness.

      1. I had always believed that I lack imagination. Both as a painter and a writer, my style had been realistic and crisp, so I believed that imagination was beyond me.

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