Don’t lie to yourself

the fight or flight mode
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

   Have you ever thought about how often you lie to yourself? Blasphemy, you might say. But is it? Whenever you say that tomorrow you’ll start something you feel a little good because you don’t need to start today, but when tomorrow comes, do you really start that thing? You’ll probably try to find some way to rationalize why you can’t do it in that day and you’ll lie to yourself saying that tomorrow you’ll do it. And so on until the deadline steps in. We all do it. But instead of going through the negative feeling of procrastination and the guilt that we didn’t do what we had to do, wouldn’t it be better to be true to ourselves and say that we’ll do it when the deadline comes?

   The above is a lame example because it implies other aspects, such as the importance of the task and our likes/dislikes about it, but the idea is the same. If we make a habit by not doing what we said to ourselves that we’re going to do, it gets highly likely to apply it in other areas as well. The biggest lie we say to ourselves is when we say that we cannot do something. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! Sure, it might not be right away. You cannot be a movie star right now, but you can start learning how to act and try getting deals and over the years you’ll get a movie star. The lack of the process doesn’t mean the lack of the ability. Yes, we might not be able to do something right now, but you can make a plan and act upon it until you get there.

   Instead of saying you cannot do something, you’d better say that you don’t care enough about that thing to put in the required effort of getting there. Be true to yourself and say you don’t care enough, because you did care enough, you would find a way. Before getting there, you must go through the process. Only a goal big enough for you can justify the effort of getting through the process.

   But I get it. I really do. The bed is comfy and the day is short, but instead of saying you cannot wake up whenever the alarm goes on or that you cannot have enough time. Just say that the things you need to do aren’t that important for you. It is a tough to swallow pill, but it’s probably the reality.

   What lies do you tell yourself?

20 thoughts on “Don’t lie to yourself

  1. I thought on this topic a long time ago  and I also decided not to lie to myself. I agree with you that when we procrastinate and suppress our abilities, we are lying to ourselves. This is not good for us.
    But lying to ourselves by boasting our abilities can also help us. I have tried that.
    What you think on this?

  2. what lies don’t i tell myself; that’s a more appropriate question. i have an eating disorder; my brain lies to me all day. i counter and contradict, but it’s a fatiguing process that i hope will get less onerous over time.

      1. i struggle with bulimia, primarily, 38 years, but also have secondary anorexic traits when i’m not actively purging. that being said, i’m coming up on four months without purging, so that’s a win.

  3. This is a big reason I stopped doing resolutions every year. I would try to keep them and when I couldn’t I felt like a failure so I try to not make any promises to myself I won’t keep and for the most part I do. I am happier now that I don’t set myself up for disappointment.

      1. I don’t think my resolutions were over the top crazy, it was stuff like lose weight, workout more, be a nicer person.. I always had that stuff on the list but when I couldn’t do it I would feel like I have to do more the following day so I always felt pressured and in debt to the day before.

  4. my lies to myself are extremely dense lol… but one i can think of right away is about my own qualifications and abilities professionally. i often think i don’t know who i am. i.e. impostor syndrome.

  5. I don’t understand why would someone make you uncomfortable the only thing that confuses me why but if that’s what you want than that’s it shouldn’t a gift for ones peace is worth a million tears and whose lying these days no one even talks or hears one but great post and ok I accept you say right but a here and there post that is light is not true or a lie

    1. In my opinion, a comfortable life is not lived at it’s fully potential. There are people that choose it and that enjoy it and I respect those people, but there are also people that want more, but they are too afraid to go for more or they lie to themselves that they can’t or that they don’t deserve it. I want to help people to leave their lives the way they want. Some already do it. Others need some changes which are not comfortable, but required for achieving the goals. Not everybody wants comfort. Some want greatness.

    1. Thank you! It’s not because people are not capable… it’s because those ideas aren’t great enough for them or maybe because they don’t believe they can do it.

  6. I tell myself I will write everyday then criticize myself before I even begin. I’m trying to trick myself into thinking the chronic illness is the only thing holding me back when in reality I use it as an excuse to tell myself I don’t have enough in me to even try anymore. Hope this makes a little sense 🤦🏻‍♀️

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