70 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 187

  1. Um… I don’t know. I’m pretty chaotic and ever evolving and changing like a kaleidoscope… but… I think the most surprising thing I’ve discovered is that people think I’m of value… That I don’t have to keep trying to prove my worth… but I still totally do that. I always wanted to be that “really useful engine” like Thomas the tank engine. Haha. And it’s funny that it only seems to mean anything when a fat controller tells me. Omg I am a freak…. laughing crying haha omg… Ok. So all that train stuff? Nothing sexy about that!!!!!! Hahaha fuck aye.

    1. Maybe we try to prove our worth for ourselves and we don’t know how to do it without showing it off to other people.

      1. By doing things, being of service. When we demonstrate our skills or talents or even just our capabilities… we are acknowledged and sometimes thanked. So when people fail to show gratitude, it is quite disempowering and ultimately destructive to the continuation of growth and harmony. Love.

  2. When my autism diagnosis got removed and replaced by dependent personality disorder and I was on that grounds pretty much kicked out of the mental hospital after 9 1/2 years. I learned that I in fact have great self-advocacy skills and wasn’t passive and compliant at all. That DPD diagnosis was used as an excuse to kick me out of the hospial because of their reduction in beds, but I learned pretty soon that I wasn’t dependent in this sense at all. Yes, I’m dependent in daily life, but that’s because of my multiplle disabilities.

    1. Yeah, well we use labels to assign a certain set of personality traits to someone even though that person might not have all of them and the labeled person might start acting out for the missing traits as well because he/she now thinks the traits are there even though they weren’t. Basically, we we get sick if we think we’re sick.

    1. Feelings are great indicators of thoughts. I too believe we can learn how we think if we observe how we react in certain circumstances.

  3. That when I started working with children I was worried I would be bad at it because I thought I wasn’t patient. I ended up loving it and patience wasn’t even a factor.

    1. I guess we project our current skills on new situations before we actually are in those situations. Once we encounter those, we find out that we have things in us we never thought we had.

  4. During my darkest hours I’ve realized that I’m stronger than I’ve ever thought to be. I’ve realized that I have compassion and a lot of love for not only myself but especially for others.

  5. Surprises generally co-relate to unforeseen circumstances; it is then I have found myself surprised by my undiscovered capabilities. These occurred in many areas of life, primarily, the military in basic training, and in combat. Great question, and great blog. Like it.

    1. Thank you! We learn things about ourselves when we have to use parts we’ve never used before so getting out of our comfort zone is a great way for us to learn new things about ourselves.

  6. When I was in my late 30’s, a guy who I really liked asked me to strip tease at a bachelor party he was throwing at his house for a friend. I was reluctant to do it due to body issues and self-consciousness. I got the courage to do it anyway and was pleased that the guys found me to be sexy and entertaining. That was a real boost to a more positive view of myself.

    1. That’s interesting. It’s great that you’ve found the courage to try something new and thanks to it you got your self-esteem boosted 🙂

  7. I had a lot of lies told to me in my childhood.
    Through the healing process God has been showing me that the very lies I was told are actually my greatest God given strengths; hence others tried to destroy those things in me through telling me the opposite things.
    For instance, I was frequently made fun of for being weak and sickly; and I also was told often that I was shy and socially awkward. Now it is a constant surprise to learn that I am actually pretty healthy and fairly fit for my age, as well as socially comfortable (for the most part, social anxiety still hits me at times).

    1. It is sad to see how others can feel better by making someone else feel worse. I guess that’s the only way they know to feel better about themselves.

      1. Let’s take an example. Suppose your favourite company accepts you for internship, you’ve a week long trip with your friends coming into action, you’re even going to get good grades in coming examination, and few more things that are just overwhelming. But, a car hits you, you’ve to undergo surgery and all that’s written above is gone. Relate to it. If yes, I get these shocks (not particularly accidents) every alternate year.

  8. An impossible deadline always gets the best out of me! Time and again when it’s me against a ridiculous deadline I get all anxious and hyper. But that’s when a strange switch inside me snaps itself on and things just get done. Im always left surprised. And I keep wondering if that was really me after all?!!

    1. That’s very interesting!! I think I understand what you are saying. One famous case comes to mind when another individual had a deadline.https://realitydecoded.blog/2018/08/02/student-arrives-late-for-class-and-solves-famous-unsolved-math-problem-because-he-thought-it-was-just-regular-homework/

      I thought the same thing you stated but then I learned something new and the equation shifted to (maybe we are getting a little help). Let me know if you are interested in that and I will share it with you.

  9. Yesterday. I discovered that I had let one narcissist after another screw up my life. It was a liberating, if devastating, discovery. Because, from this point forward, I know I will have zero tolerance for anyone with narcissistic tendencies in my personal life.

    1. This is exactly what Tai Lopez uses to say. According to him, narcissism is one of the biggest problems this world has.

      1. After my marriage to a narcissist ended, I became narcissistic in a couple of relationships…something I’d never been before.

        So, I believe regular people sometimes pick up narcissistic traits they’ve learned…maybe it’s a way to salvage their ego.

        However, I don’t believe anyone can turn us into anything without our consent. We make our own choices.

        Once I recognised what I was doing, I changed.

  10. Meeting new people I’ve realized as caring as I am, I still have this anxiety and fear of people hurting me. I like to think that I’m trusting but I keep fearing people’s intentions. Like I’ve lost my discernment.

    1. So you’d say you’re suspicious about other people’s intentions? Is this happening for everyone you know or just for some?

      1. Interesting. I’m wondering if it’s something you need to handle or if they also did something to rise the suspicion.

      2. Well I’ve been discouraged from doing things that are dreams of mine by the very people I thought had my back, my family while they ask me to support theirs. It’s really my sister more than anything but it’s weird. Also just new people I’ve met, not all of them just some, I get this weird vibe. It’s like are they here to help or usurp. I don’t like feeling that way because I like being able to know one way or the other and feeling free to trust. Right now it’s just super weird as if no one is truly who they say they are. But I prayed about it so, wha needs to be revealed will be.

      3. I agree but I’m a firm believer that no matter what, what’s meant for me will be if I choose not to focus on what their agendas may be

    2. You stated — “Well I’ve been discouraged from doing things that are dreams of mine by the very people I thought had my back….I get this weird vibe. It’s like are they here to help or usurp.”

      Q – Aren’t there always just 3 positions than anyone can take? (1) Help you (2) Hurt you (3) Ignore you.

      Wouldn’t it always be that way? If we understand that everyone can only take one of those three positions, then it seems like there should never be a surprise.

      I would think that this is a case of responsibility. Isn’t your only job in life to make sure you follow what you want to do and everyone else follow what they want to do?

      How would we explain to GOD that we can’t do something when we know for a fact that he has provided more than enough to do it? Could we say to God that person “X” stopped us from achieving a dream knowing that he has provided more than enough?

      I thought people could only do what we allow them to do since we were given the authority to make choices?

      1. I actually wrote a post about it at 5:30 this morning actually. It’s something I learned about myself but I am overcoming. So, no I’m not allowing anyone to stop me. I think my battle with myself is not knowing who is who but as I said it doesn’t even matter if I choose not to focus on it

      2. If it was “Breaking The Barriers” all I can say is “Great Post!!!”

        I just read it, I am on Chapter IV with the goal being V

      1. It was a long time ago, my heart was slowing to a stop and I was drifting off while people hurried about to save me.

        When I returned to reality (in the hospital) something was missing. Same job the next week when I returned, same people but something strange was going on with me. People kept telling me I changed but I didn’t feel any different.

        I have noticed that for some reason I don’t get emotional anymore, almost nothing seems to be that urgent but it’s not some conscious effort or life changing theology or even a new lease on life.

        If I had to give it a name I would say that I now have a strange thirst for understanding what is true or not true. Not sure why but that’s the reason I’m so different.

        Example: If I hear a bump in the night I get curious over fearful type of thing, I want to know more about what made the noise and why. Or if I’m in a stressful meting over some technical issue I’m more interested in “why” what people think is so important and why they feel the need to try and fix it rather than simply responding and doing my part.

        I also made an entire website dedicated to the strangest parts of our reality. (just seemed like I had to do it). No conspiracies or supernatural just real crazy stuff in our reality.

        Hope that helps.

      2. This is very interesting. I guess that experience made you unconsciously realize that there is so much more in life than you thought before so it opened you to receive as many experiences as you can.

      3. That is not what I am experiencing. I haven’t had any urge to travel. I haven’t tried any real new experiences like rock climbing sports of any kind. There is no opening to experiences beyond what I had before the incident. I seem mostly bored by suggestions to do things or go out. I feel somewhat obsessed with information and data. Especially if it can be verified. My website is proof of that.

        What I am experiencing is best described as a burst of critical thinking. I simply question almost everything I encounter. I can’t explain it but when I hear or see something I immediately start asking questions and I can quickly make complicated connects to what I already know. It’s like the questions just stream through my mind. The strangest part is that people almost never can answer those questions beyond a relatively easy point of reason. Strange

        People I thought were extremely knowledgeable now seem confused and lacking in understanding. It’s a strange experience watching people believe things for strange reasons. Beliefs in science, religion. natures, etc., so far from the reality we are living that it’s almost laughable. How I didn’t see it before is beyond me but now it just comes naturally.

        Why are you curious about this?

      4. I’m curious about human mind, in what circumstances it changes and why. It seems that you managed to break the barriers of superficiality and now you go for the depth in everything.

      5. You might be right or maybe whatever happened cause me to simply stop accepting things people say without proof.

        As time goes on I wonder (often) why they can’t backup the things they say and why I believed them for so many years.

        Strange to say the least.

  11. Today the first time ever, I went to church w/o my twins. I just needed alone time. During service, it was a man sitting next to me, sobbing as the pastor preached. It was a heavy topic, which I plan to blog abt. I knew I was in the right place at the right time. After service, I had an opportunity to show the God in me. Such a blessing, but I was terrified to pray or share God’s word. As I wrote down my email address, I was trembling.

  12. When visiting my late Nana in hospital for one of the last times. My family crumbled and I stayed strong for everyone. I didn’t cry until I was home and alone. My mum was sad enough without seeing all of her kids upset too, and it would have also upset my Nana further. As someone who is known to be very emotional, taking control of myself in important times is something I’m surprisingly good at. Miss you Nana❤️

    1. I find it awesome that you managed to be the shoulder for everybody to cry on when they needed the most. After that, you still gave yourself some moments to feel that pain so it won’t pile up. You did awesome in tough circumstances!

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