Just decide

   “The key to self confidence is to keep the promises you make to yourself” – Ed Mylett

   This is the phrase I encountered today that made me think (don’t worry, I was thinking before this too). It makes sense, but why? What is the main idea behind this that builds up our self confidence? I’ve encountered the same idea at Casey Neistat, but in different words. He said that whatever he starts, he finishes no matter how good or bad that thing is.

   I believe this is all about commitment. A promise is a decision we make and once we make a decision, we should act upon it. Apparently, whenever we finish what we started, we get a sense of accomplishment which has a positive impact over our confidence. We get a little dopamine everytime we accomplish something and that makes us feel good. Have you noticed that whenever we have a to-do list and we do something on that list, we feel good when we mark it as done? (yes, I “stole” this line from Simon Sinek) I guess that this is all about. If I decide that I need to lose some weight and I have to exercise daily, I feel good if I really do it and my self confidence raises. The same principle applies whenever we don’t do what we promised to ourselves. Breaking those promises will make us feel weak and our self confidence drops.

   The main idea is that whenever we want to do something and we decide to act upon that, our self confidence raises. Actually, Will Smith said the same thing. He said that we should just make a decision. Once we made that decision and we act upon it, sh*t gets done! The decision is the first step for anything.

   What do you do to build your self confidence?

31 thoughts on “Just decide

  1. Some real food for thought here. My approach this far has been to start something and if it’s not working for me to walk away from it – guilt free. However, if I’m being honest, it does make me feel a bit of a failure at times. It’s tricky. I don’t want to force myself into being miserable but I don’t want to feel like I can’t achieve. Maybe it would be a good idea going forward to set myself small promises and build from there!

    1. Maybe it is a good idea! If it fails, you can learn something from it. We shouldn’t walk away from things just because they are hard.

  2. So true! Not only one gains more self confidence, but also we demonstrate respect toward ourselves and others. It’s all about commitment. And watch out, once you decide to do or accomplish something because it’s what you want, just do it. Don’t waste energy and time whether it’s the right thing. You’re heart has told you that already 👍

  3. The great scientific man is one who is sufficiently stubborn to keep working on seemingly foolish idea and who is wise enough to stop work on it if an idea was really bad.

    The same thing is true with ordinary men.
    It is a good thing to fight but it’s a wise to make a retreat sometime.

    1. I totally agree with you, but the retreat shouldn’t be because it seems too hard or because we don’t feel like doing it anymore. It’s when we realize it would be wrong to continue which is very subjective.

      1. My fave place from Crusoe about the ship: “If I had had hands to have refitted her, and to have launched her into the water, the boat would have done well enough, and I might have gone back into the Brazils with her easily enough; but I might have foreseen that I could no more turn her and set her upright upon her bottom than I could remove the island; however, I went to the woods, and cut levers and rollers, and brought them to the boat resolving to try what I could do; suggesting to myself that if I could but turn her down, I might repair the damage she had received, and she would be a very good boat, and I might go to sea in her very easily.

        I spared no pains, indeed, in this piece of fruitless toil, and spent, I think, three or four weeks about it; at last finding it impossible to heave it up with my little strength, I fell to digging away the sand, to undermine it, and so to make it fall down, setting pieces of wood to thrust and guide it right in the fall.

        But when I had done this, I was unable to stir it up again, or to get under it, much less to move it forward towards the water; so I was forced to give it over; and yet, though I gave over the hopes of the boat, my desire to venture over for the main increased, rather than decreased, as the means for it seemed impossible.”

  4. I like the quote: “I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”

  5. Hey! Cool post!

    Self-confidence to me is to feel a sense of secureness in knowing that you have the ability to do stuff. Whether that is solving problems, doing a certain sport etc. It starts with the simplest things.

    This is also where the above quote comes from..

    To get this feeling of security about ourselves we have to do those things we set out to do.

    A good example is taking someone who sets out to do 10 pushups everyday before he goes to bed…
    He promises himself to do those 10 pushups every single day! No matter what!
    So he starts…
    But soon he comes to the point where he feels like procrastinating, being a little lazy and not really doing it anymore. He finishes with 5 pushups, and ultimately quits his habit.

    Because this person now rationally knows he didn’t do what he set out to do, he knows that whatever he will say he will do in the future, he knows he very likely won’t do it to the end anyway. Simply said, he doesn’t trust himself anymore. And thats exactly where self-confidence is lost.

    It comes from actually doing the things we say to ourselves we will do and then executing on them until we are done! This builds inner secureness and a feeling that we can trust ourselves.

    thanks for sharing!
    Keep it up ! 🙂

    1. Exactly! The key is to get through those moments when procrastination tries to f*ck us up. If we want to create a new habit for ourselves, we have to beat those moments.

  6. Nice one. Great reminder. I am task oriented not naturally but through experiences. I’ve learned how to not procrastinate by creating to do lists and keeping them visible. I’m crazy like that. If I don’t get them done they nag me. So I keep post its amongst other things. The next thing which keeps me motivated is not putting things off until tomorrow. If I can do it today and I have time and energy, I will do it rather than “procrastinate”. I like feeling like I’m moving forward, accomplishing what I set out to do, so that motivates me to act.

  7. When I’m feeling low, I know I’m not going jump into something hugely difficult, because it’s probably why I’m feeling low. I start small self love tasks, like reading a health book, or adding something healthy to my diet. Something to get me back up on my feet do I can think clearly about what I learned about my past failure.

  8. I guess self-confidence is important for young people. Independence. Self-support, to be self-sure.
    > What do you do to build your self confidence?
    – So I guess self-confidence one should build in his youth.

      1. May be, if you feel young at soul. If you didn’t prove anything to yourself yet.

        Another way is acceptance of yourself and world as they are.

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