Hidden Dreams in Life

I find it strange that when some things happen, I realize that I actually have been wanting that thing all along. It so happens that I do not register them as an explicit dream or ideal, but it turns out they were what I wanted and what I needed. I am experiencing something like this in recent weeks, which made every moment of my days very satisfying.

As a former academic, I have always been eager to learn. I enjoyed the process of learning,. I did not always care what my learnings led to. Did I learn something? That was enough. But learning in an academic environment was structured and not free flowing. At some point, I got back to my dreams about being isolated from the world and learn random things with no agenda, which I used to have a lot in high school. But at the time, I was not in a position to do free learning. All my learning had to contribute to the growth of my PhD.

I moved to Santa Barbara after my PhD. It was challenging to get used to the calmness and silence here, as someone who almost always lived in huge cities in the past 15 years or so. I recently realized that I got used to the silence here and that realization pushed me to do more reading and watching more educational content. I started doing this more and more and now I am spending most of my time outside of work learning. I do not have an agenda and a plan about what I am learning. I am just picking up a book or a video that appeals to me at the time and going for it.

I realized I wanted this for a long time. I wanted to live in a house near the mountains (which I am right now) -the only thing is that my apartment does not have a red door, which was part of my dream:( ) and I am genuinely involved in constant knowledge growth, driven by my newly-found thirst. The interesting thing is, I never thought of this explicitly. I realized it only after it happened. Oh, so I had that dream!, was my reaction.

Did this happen to you? If so, were you surprised when you realized you had a dream you did not know about? Let’s talk life’s surprises today!


17 thoughts on “Hidden Dreams in Life

  1. Beautiful! I love how you’ve moved from institutional learning to free-form learning and embraced it as a dream. Inspiring! Now for that red door… 🙂

  2. Such a beautiful realization, indeed. I wish I had the same setting to dedicate life to read the best books ever written. Thanks!

  3. “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” Cicero. Sounds like you’re living the good life Betul! I’m happy for you 🙂🙏

  4. You’ve finally broken free of the tyranny of THE PROFESSOR. I recall the moment I broke free of having teachers too. By the way, a small can of red paint shouldn’t be expensive at all. You might need to get your landlord’s permission before you transform the look of your front door though. Enjoy the quiet. Like you, I spent many years living in enormous cities, but small towns offer their own sorts of pleasures.

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