Is there a perfect life?

Posted on by formerwriters

Hi everyone! Happy Sundays!

This week, I want to talk about the lack of perfection in life: there is no point in life where everything will be perfect in the way we understand life.

When I think about each phase in my life, I can find many goods about each phase. But I cannot find a phase where everything was good. For example, let’s say in one phase, my career thrived and I was financially well-off but I was alone. In another, I was not alone but my health was not in good shape. Why is it that there is always something that does not come off as a good thing? I can think of several things:

One is that our perception of what is good and what is bad is not sustainable. Oftentimes, what we consider to be a good thing turns out to be harmful to us. Breakups are a good example for that. We see them as a bad thing but often they happen for a reason and eventually, we might feel grateful that it happened. So, maybe, we are not lacking anything that we need at that time but it is our perception of a perfect life that hinders us.

Another is that our brains are conditioned to protect us from dangers. Even if everything is perfect, the brain looks for things that might pose a threat to our safety and pulls out the most minor things and focuses on them as problems. That focus makes the so-called problem bigger and bigger, to a point where it makes you forget all the good things we have at that moment.

I am guilty of both and I thought about how we can manage them. I think training our brains to feel safe is a major task, but a difficult one. Likewise, training our brains to see the good in ‘problems’ is a major task, but a difficult one. Yet, I think these are what we can strive towards.

Why do you think that most people never seem to have perfect times in our lives? Are there other reasons you can think of? What are some other solutions we can try? Let’s discuss.

Betul

28 thoughts on “Is there a perfect life?”

  2. 🧠🖋️”EVOLUTION – ETERNAL CONFLICT”.
    The presence of the divine was expressed in art and nature.
    Perhaps happiness is always found on the uphill path, and not in the fleeting, brief, ephemeral, material, insecure feeling of satisfaction that awaits at the next summit to the magnitude of anticipated gain. Probably, maybe not, a lot of happiness is hope or Sofrosyne. The same waiting It is not a passive attitude, but that mastery of the spirit, which overcomes anxiety. Nietzsche himself illustrates us by saying, “I have black periods. Who doesn’t? But they don’t dominate me. They are not part of my illness, but part of my being. It could be said that I have the courage to suffer them”.What can we answer Master Nietzsche to this question:
    “What has contributed more to human happiness, the real or the imaginary?” Much to reflect and exchange. “You will suffer a lot and at the same time, you will be happy. This is your vocation, to seek happiness in pain”, Dostoyevsky said.A community of individuals cut from the same pattern, without originality or objectives of their own
    would be a community with no possibility of evolution. In that sense, I have never pursued comfort and happiness as ends in themselves… “I call this ethical approach the ideal of the pigsty”, as Einstein put it. Without the eternal unattainable in the tasks of art and science, without dealing with the objective world, life would have seemed empty to me.
    We could perhaps say that it is the Art of living serenely in the face of the inconclusive and imperceptible”.Enemy of waiting is treason”, said Alejandro Dolina. A lot of times in life we haven’t or we’re being happy, we’re rolling… maybe we should have something significant, that’s the boat that will take you through the storm. We’ll all go through bad times in life.
    (“storms”); however, if we have something to fight for, a sense of life, we will be able to navigate better. Jordan B. Peterson “The Most Influential Intellectual of the moment in the West” according to NEW YORK TIMES points out in one of his latest books:”Life is a sequence of problems that must be solved, if you don’t solve them you will suffer and die”.Weak and miserable as you are, you can still face the terrible tragedy of life and prevail.Even when we are weak or feel weak, we can draw strength from weakness and thus face the Hell that touches us to be more enlightened as the Swiss Psychiatrist C.Gustav Jung illustrates.
    Hope nourishes the constant struggle against despair and succeeds in overcoming the contradictions of life.What matters to a large extent is “being in the world”, or the fact that we exist in a world rich in meanings and possibilities. There is only one path in the world that no one but you can travel. Where does it lead? Don’t ask? Accept it? ”
    “Do you want to have an easy life? So, always stay with the herd and get lost in it.” -Nietzsche-The first truth is suffering, from the beginning NOTHING exists, In The Sorrows of the World by Arthur Schopenhauer states “To want is essentially to suffer, and as to live is to want, all life is by essence pain. The higher the being, the more it suffers… Eternal conflict is NOT a test to which God

    subjects us. It is NOT a machination of Satan.Simply this is how things were solved, going through the passage of hell that Jung masterfully poses with the concept of shadow and learning from it to be enlightened, perhaps this is one of the reasons why there are not many people enlightened and without falling into the flattery of our shared world. Nietzsche already pointed out: The same thing happens to man as to a tree. The more he wants to rise upward and into the light, the more strongly he tends his roots toward the earth, downward, into the dark, the deep – into evil.To live strongly the life that touches us rescuing the epicurean thought:THE PLACER NOT like that ephemeral, short, insecure PLACER of or an object, NOT of material consumerism. For the Epicureans happiness “IS THE IMPERTURBABILITY OF THE Soul” ataraxia, Sofrosyne or serenity. Going to the bottom with actions and not polluting with ideas, links, dependencies or objects seeking precisely the pleasure in the elementary of those desires that are natural and necessary, those proper to nature and vital necessity: THE same symptomatic and manifest pleasure of what we are: simply breathing, listening, the glimpse denouncing dawn by the simple fact of existing to which we should aspire. History itself precedes the individual, said Hegel, Language and Culture precedes us: We are Effects and Knots of History, there is a diversification with access to a wide experience of something else: The Political, the Divine, therefore the Nature of Corporeality. We are only Chimeras, wrote Foucault…. We must understand Plurality… The Apollonian and the Dionysian: This is an opposing and at the same time complementary duality, of special penetration in the world of literature and the arts, and especially in the world of the performing arts. Nietzsche develops it in his book The Birth of Tragedy from the spirit of music… WE ARE NOT ONLY THAT PRODUCTIVITY OF THE “Full Time” “PRODUCTIVITY OF THE FORCE OF ANUDATION” of the often misleading “Mercantilisation of thinking”. It is part of Evolution and our inner conflict, in conjunction with the ETERNAL CONFLICT. The RIVER IS AND IS NOT THE SAME, the Divine dimension of change and permanence. “The descent to Avernus is easy and smooth; the gates of Dite are wide open night and day (and no queuing, right) but to step back and see the light again is a difficult task and endeavour! While one wanders through the flames of hell reveling in the joys of genius which to angels seems torment and madness, it will be necessary to pick up some of his proverbs ¿𝘈𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦 𝘢 𝘜𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘴, 𝘭𝘢 𝘏𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘥, 𝘢𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘳 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘭 𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘯 𝘺 𝘦𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘭? 𝘐𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘢 𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘴 𝘤𝘳í𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘳, 𝘈𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘺 𝘝𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳, 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘴 𝘥𝘦 𝘭𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘥, 𝘑𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰, 𝘓𝘢𝘴 120 𝘫𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘥𝘰𝘮𝘢 𝘺 𝘓𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘧í𝘢 𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳, 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴: 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘲𝘶é𝘴 𝘥𝘦 𝘚𝘢𝘥𝘦.
    We are all genetic chimeras, at once saints and sinners, standard-bearers of truth and hypocrites, prolific and devourers, and not because humanity has been unable to reach a predetermined religious or ideological ideal, but as a consequence of the development of our species over millions of years of evolution.no one can offer the illumination of the morning star without the wisdom of one’s own shadow.”
    Eternal conflict may be the only way through which social organisation and human intelligence can evolve. Sooner or later we will find the key to coexist with this congenital chaos

    , and perhaps we will delight in observing it as the main source of Creativity, knowledge, Imaginative thinking and motivation to tilt the world to a better one.
    to tilt the world to a better one we must achieve independence of thought by understanding ourselves with intelligence.History precedes the individual. Language precedes us, culture itself precedes us, Foucault pointed out.Prince Myschkin, the main character in Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s novel The Idiot, 1869. Dostoyevsky wanted to create a character “entirely positive …. with an absolutely beautiful nature”. At the beginning of The Idiot, Prince Myshkin has been in a sanatorium in Switzerland for four years to treat his epilepsy. At the age of 26, he returns to Russia, having regained his health. In St. Petersburg, his purity and candour lead many to take him for an idiot. Yet he possesses an incisive intellect, a deep emotional intelligence and a wisdom that surpasses none of the other characters in the novel.
    We are multidiverse effects and knots as a broad experience of access. La. Multiplicity we are not only pure concept, because we have a body… A DIVERSIFICATION of inclinations, pleasure, desires, the. Excessive, the bestial, the Carnal, the polyvocal, the Divine, understanding the plurality… ELEUSIS Admitting the other in us that also has VALUE. NOT to be impressed by the commodification of THOUGHT, MATIZING THAT “MEANING OF LIFE” WITH THE IDEOLOGICAL PROBLEM OF THE. UNITY WHERE ONLY THE. REASON, THE APOLLONIAN EXEMPLIFIED IN THE ORIGIN OF TRAGEDY WHERE NIETZSCHE POINTS OUT TO LEAVE ASIDE, EXCLUDING THE EXUBERANCE THAT IS BEAUTY AS THE. WILLIAM BLAKE WOULD DEFINE IN A MEMORABLE VISION PROVERBS FROM HELL…. Philosophy serves us … to get us out of naïve thinking, to let go of that “PRODUCTIVITY OF FORCE GIVING ANOINTING” OF FULL TIME DECEIT- The self construction of contemporary therapies that squanders the resources of each person’s pockets … To extol pride or vanity? How similar we are to each other that we even speak more or less the same dialect as A SUBTERFUGES OF EXCLUSIVITY- UNIQUE BEING, KAPO – MAKAVELI HOW THE GHERO 2 – PAC SHAKUR…. SELF-ORGANISATION IS SELF-ORGANISING. The incoherence , of obtaining greater good as Unity homo oeconomicus …with these excellent groups we reformulate our coherence of thought phenenically the. Change with Hegel… From Marx to Heraclitus, NOT ONLY THE BEING IS PARMENIDES THINKING WHICH THEREFORE GIVES RISE TO INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL CABRECELLER PADS, THE BEING AND NOT BEING,ANVERSE AND REVERSE ARE THE SAME COIN… MULTIVERSES WITH SCHRÖDINGER…. PHILOSOPHY SERVES US TO UNDERSTAND that misery, poverty, corruption and inequality are not casual accidents. These components are not contingent. Evil is not contingent, evil is produced whether it is managed and institutionalised. And philosophy does not make us free, it does not empower us, it does not make us, it simply reproduces the state of things…
    Philosophy is even a component, a machine of intervention, a toolbox from which we can draw like penetrating rays of LIGHT, ceasing to be a mere love of knowledge as Hegel said… to make real knowledge, thrown into the world (Sartre’s Authenticity/DASEIN HEIDEGGER) i.e. THE SPLENDOUR OF PHILOSOPHY if it answers questions, improves the quality of life, guides our actions by shedding light on the place we occupy in a surrounding, shared world of our own and also improves the well-being of the subject. The understanding of plurality and notaa@@ getting carried away by the commercialism of thinking. The River is and is not the same river (Heraclitus) – change and permanence coexist, regulated by evolutionary constants, Phenomenically it is change, obverse and reverse, (transforming), reformulating is the same coin.
    In relation to the universe, the Earth is but the second segment of the left antenna of an aphid that has perched for a while on a flower petal in a garden in Teaneck, New Jersey, this very afternoon” as illustrated in Edward O. Wilson’s The Meaning of Human Existence, “How could you be reborn without having turned to ashes” in Thus Spake Zarathustra with F. Nietzsche. Some become sick, fragment and turn to dust. Unless they change. Carl Gustav Jung. Sartre illustrates it with a morality of Action opposed to quiescence in existentialism is a humanism…
    the philosopher is not necessarily the sage the one who possesses wisdom but the lover of it with real knowledge applicable to life with courage and the art of combating the circumstances encountered in this world into which we are thrown the one who tends or feels OR is attracted by it the one who cultivates wisdom…. And wonders why everything has to be useful… I HAVE MORE MEMORIES THAN ALL MEN HAVE HAD SINCE THE WORLD HAS BEEN A WORLD. MY MEMORY IS LIKE A RUBBISH DUMP.“𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒆𝒄𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒖𝒊, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏.” 𝑳𝒖𝒌𝒆 𝑹𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒕.

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  3. I think it’s simply the human nature. We are never happy with what we have. We should appreciate the here and the now. But it’s not that easy. Interesting post Betul!

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  5. I can’t think of a single phase in my life in which I thought, “Ohh, this is a perfect life.” I can only think of moments, and in my opinion, our lives are made up of those beautiful moments. I like to see the good in things because even if I see the bad, what’s the point? If a bad thing happens, it will happen regardless of how I feel about it. I can’t control the event itself, but I can control my feelings. And the imperfections in life are only natural. Without them, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the happy moments.

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  6. I agree with the brain seeking problem, i thought i would be fine when i get at a place where i feel secure. But it doesn’t, brain is always looking for problem to make us not feeling good.

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  8. Somebody famous once said something to the nature of… “You can have it all, just not all at once.” I think that’s an insight why we think our lives our never perfect.

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  9. The grass is always greener. I believe it’s human nature. Even when life is well we are pre-conditioned to look for what could be better. It’s not a good survival strategy to be content with your lot – even if you live on a luxury yacht! Great post Betul!

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  10. The more consistent I get at meditating on the yin and yang, the words you just wrote appear more true in the mirror. Thank you Betul for sharing your experiential wisdom.

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      1. Good question. The simplest way I know is to gently gaze at the yin yang symbol and picture it in the mind. But to expound on that, a walking meditation is to see the dark, feminine, moon energy within the light, masculine, sun and then vice versa. See these energies flowing in balance. If you look at the yin yang, you will notice the half circles have a small circle. In the larger half circle of light, there is dark. In the larger circle of dark, there is light. Nature reflects back our nature to us.

  11. And one meditation on ‘striving’ is to replace the energy of that with ‘arriving’- kind of follows going with the flow of life and being open to what is and on its way. This can bring us into a receptive place and for ‘allowing’ for what is by sitting with it.

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  12. Betul, I agree that there is never a time when everything is perfect. I think that there are just too many variables. One way to deal with this problem is to focus on whatever we can find that is good and appreciate it. Hurricane spared us and our house and resulted in a time a time when people were helping each other.

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