Last Sunday, I moved to my new apartment in a new city, where I will be working at my new job. There is a lot of new. I am obviously very joyful at my new start and honestly, this new start feels like a full one. It is a complete reset of life. My first 9-5 job, my first self-rented and decorated apartment etc. Many things are different than what they used to be like in my life before.
I am very excited about this new phase in my life, but I have had some mixed feelings in adaptation this week. This is the first time I do not have roommates and feelings of loneliness were triggered. (Mind you, I had a lot of friends back in LA, where I lived before moving). This, of course, triggered some thoughts of me not having a family of my own yet and how I came close to it last year but it ended up ruining me for months (but then, reinventing me afterwards!). I kept telling myself that I have everything else I wanted right now, so it is ok to not have exactly everything (some things can be missing). But I still felt bad and went over the timeline of my relationship that fell off last year and cried more.
I spent some time like this. I realized that I was convinced that it was getting late to have a family of my own and I was way behind schedule. Then two things helped me get to a better place. First, I told myself that this is indeed a very fresh start for me (even my move to the US from Turkey did not feel this fresh), so take it as the beginning of a new life, so I am not late. I am just starting. Second, I came across a video that said (as if it was speaking to me) that everyone has a different timeline and uniquely so. I still feel a bit broken not to have my friends or family here, but these thoughts helped me a lot.
So, this reminded me of how important the way we think is. It is important to shape our thought process in the right direction to get ourselves out of a loophole. If one attempt does not work, try a new way. It happened with me. Thinking I have everything already did not help but other thoughts helped in this situation. Keep in mind that there will be some thought process that will help you. Keep trying until you find what works.
Are you aware of your thoughts? Do you try to shape them? Does it help? Let’s discuss the idea that we shape our thoughts and then our thoughts shape us today.