Hello there!
Today, going with the theme of my last few posts, I want to discuss one other internal change I went through in the past 5-6 months: no longer claiming to know what is good for me and leaving it God’s hands what happens in my life.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, my marriage was called off one month before the actual date last February. Once I started recovering from that shock, I started feeling blessed that it actually did not happen. Before this, I was fully convinced that marrying would be the better thing and I tried to fix it. It did not work despite my efforts and prayers. I was literally divinely protected but I did not see it at the time. But now? Now, I can see what God saw at the time and protected me by force and I am grateful.
This showed me that I don’t always know what is good for me. So I decided to give in completely (or the best I can) and said ‘I want whatever is good for me to happen to me and I am ok with whatever happens’. In other words, I have no preference as to what happens in my life. Honestly, it has been very rewarding. First, indeed, things happened in ways I never thought of and a lot more easily (and I believe things that are good for me). Second, the calmness that comes with it is unparalleled. Just letting things happen with the intention of accepting whatever is meant to happen.
This is the mentality I wanted to reach ever since I read ‘The Surrender Experiment’ by Michael Singer. Strongly recommend. I really hope I can keep it in the face of new challenges.
Let’s discuss this. Have you ever experienced accepting whatever comes your way at any point in your life? If so, how did it feel? If not, what can you do to achieve it?
Good luck with whatever happens 🙂
Good luck to you too!
who does Betal?> i am my own worst enemy and have been at it for far longer than ye.
That is exactly why I decided not to make major decisions on m own anymore and leave it to God
naw you gotta do your due diligence bebbe
Yeap
bow to left then to right and say Betul!
hold out bleeding leading pleading with deity and so on
I think in general accepting what we can not control is the key to peace and equanimity. We often don’t know how things will unfold, and perhaps letting go from grasping onto outcomes can lead us to where we need to be. Thanks for your vulnerability in this lovely article.
Yes, I am now realizing that trying to control the narrative is a lot harder than letting go.
Life is a full circle…whatever happens happens for good and we are to play our duties irrespective…
Yes!
I felt like I was reading my own words here. I went through a similar situation with similar results and decided my choices aren’t all that great at times, especially when it comes to romantic love. Much of my life seems to be a mess from those choices. It was couple years ago that I surrendered to God and prayed for Him to guide me. I still stumble and life isn’t perfect but there is much less drama and much more peace than following my heart (that seems to be an idiot). Now I focus on what God wants for me, and that is to make myself whole and fulfilled and stop thinking a relationship will make me whole and fulfilled. I think if God thinks I am ever ready, He will send someone that He thinks is a good match. But if not, at least I will be living a good peaceful life.
Oh my God, how similar our journeys are! Do you apply this in other areas too? romantic love, jobs, location etc. I am curious about how you are taking this given our similarity.
I do my best to surrender everything to God but nowhere near as much as I like. But without bad relationship choices I seem to do okay on everything else. I have been in some financial binds and was not able to surrender and fear usually got the best of me. Surrendering takes a ton of faith especially when it comes to something you depend on for survival. How about you?
Yeah, surrendering is very hard. I had difficulty with it in many areas of life. But the marriage situation just made me let go in every area of life and I am very grateful. You seem to some steps ahead of me in that sense.
But also, we will be challenged every now and then and that is ok. The important thing is to keep in mind the kind of person we want to become
I feel you are ahead since the marriage situation made you let go of every area of life. I am able to do that somewhat but if outside circumstances are showing me something like not enough money to pay bills I am not so good at surrendering, so always work in progress. Yes, keeping in mind the kind of person we want to become is key. Thank you for your great post. It’s always good to relate with someone and not feel like you are the only one going through something like that.
Let’s celebrate where we are and where we are heading!
Thank you, Betul, for sharing your insights with us! Great post!
One of the sayings that I keep in mind has really helped me: “Everything is a blessing, or a blessing in disguise.” It may not always be easy to see, but this mindset holds great value.
I like this! Thank you for sharing!
You’re welcome! I apply it quite often as a strong reminder.
It is worth that part in our lives!
I respectfully ask where is the blessing in disguise for the people in Ukraine? How about all the children dying of cancer? For parents whose children have committed suicide because they could not take it anymore? Not everything is a blessing. Can God work beauty from our ashes? Sure. But I would not call that a blessing.
This requires very deep conversations. So, I won’t say much here. But blessing in disguise does not mean we see the blessing in this world, necessarily. If everything was perfect here, we would call it the paradise. But here is some way that might still help us see the light. For example, let us say that someone’s child committed suicide. It is a horrible event. Either you continue complaining and resenting or you can channel your energy to save others with similar problems. My friend’s son has been in a vegetative state for some years now. To help people with similar issues, she has started a business helping with medical equipment and now is helping a lot of people while her son is still battling for his life. Maybe it is not an immediate blessing for the person (and again, I believe that it will be for them too, in another life possibly) but other people can turn it into a blessing. There we have a choice to make.
Betul, I agree you about letting things happen as they will… in most cases. I think we need to exercise patience and to choose our battles. Many things are beyond our control, and others may not require immediate action, but some situations call for an immediate response. Thank you for this interesting and thought-provoking post. Have a great week! <3
Yes, that is true. Unless it requires action right now, I still try to apply my methods of searching for ways that is best through discussions, prayers etc instead of doing what I think is the best. I don’t want to leave myself to myself lol.
You have a great week too!
Good post. but it’s sometimes hard for me to know what’s God’s will and what’s mine. Ideally, I guess, they’re the same.
Yeah, it is not always easy. I have found some specific prayers for it that helps.
can you share some of them?
Yes I can, but first, what is your religious background? I am a Muslim, so the prayers involve Islamic principles. But I can try to connect it to your faith depending on what your belief system is.
I agree. When have we ever changed anything by worrying? What a waste of time! Let go and let God, even though it’s hard to do!
Exactly! But my mind did not want to accept this for such a long time:(
I am a Christian but I’m open to learning new ways to pray.
So this special night prayer helped me a lot:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tahajjud
I think there is a special acceptance rate when we pray at night. I later added this following prayer (see the translation on the page):
https://zamzam.com/blog/salatul-hajat/#:~:text=Translation%20of%20Salatul%20Hajat%20Dua&text=There%20is%20no%20god%20but%20Allah%20the%20High%20and%20Mighty,and%20freedom%20from%20all%20sin.
I would say these words and tell God about whatever I wanted to. Honestly, saying this prayer at that time of the night shoot it up for me.
Thanks for this post. Acceptance is the key to happiness. I listened to M. Singer last night and then I read your post and I see you mention him as well. Great synchronicity
What a nice coincidence! Honestly, that book I mentioned changed my mind, so maybe you should read it too, if you have not already.
I listen to his Podcasts on YouTube and relate to his wisdom, for sure
Nice! Maybe I should listen to his podcasts too. I like his perspective.