The common definition of narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s idealised self-image and attributes.
Narcissists are people who believe to be unique, superior to others and masters of a wonderful existence that no one can imagine. As a result, they may be bullies and arrogant. They need constant admiration and always want to be the best. Therefore, they may become extremely competitive. In their view, they are the only ones capable of achieving results in life.
They also think their experience is more valuable than that of others and feel they need to set an example for those around them. They do not do it to give advice but to be at the centre of attention. Because of that, their social relationships deteriorate fast and they need new people to admire them, even if, over time, they will be left alone.
Envy prevails in their personal and social relationships.
The world of narcissists is small, it is limited to what they think and do. In their mind there are echoes of their thoughts. They do not listen to others because they don’t care about anything. Their greed for admiration leads them to believe that there are no ordinary events happening in their life, their existence is just wonderful and successful. They are like stars, actually they are the brightest and most beautiful star, there is no other star like them!
Caution is the norm if a narcissist approaches you, because they want to excel and they will not hesitate to crush you. Their lack of empathy makes them unable to help and support.
They live in a parallel reality, in a dream world where they want to exert power over others. Whatever they do is addressed to achieve success at any costs.
Narcissists have a vivid imagination that lead them to lie often, and they may tell amazing things they have done, even though they are difficult to prove. Remember that they cannot fail, failure does not belong to their world.
Most probably, they will hide their flaws and turn their insecurity into a false security. In order not to show their vulnerability, they will do anything necessary, such as talking excessively, changing the subject in order to shift attention to them, and belittle others by pointing out their flaws.
Narcissists are control freaks and try to bring every situation to their own ground, where they feel safe. If they are managers, they will micromanage.
They must constantly feel euphoria not to show their discomfort, because the narcissistic person does not want to feel frustrated. A common way to avoid frustration is addiction, whether it is shopping, alcohol, drugs, sports, sex, or gambling.
Another characteristic of narcissists is that they tend to take advantage of others. For example, they will partner with well-positioned people to earn their trust and use them to help them grow. They will also take credits of others’ success to advance their career or social ladder.
Narcissists master the subtle art of manipulation. They are always on an alert mode, ready to redirect those who try to say or do something they do not like, or that does not allow them to show their greatness and power in front of others.
If after reading this post you think you are a narcissist, don’t worry as a true narcissist will never identify with these traits. The narcissist is unique, none can be like them.
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I know a few narcisists!
they arent nice people!
I have encountered such people in my life and wasn’t pleasing at all.
I feel like I needed to read this today because I didn’t realize how much someone with so much envy and lack of empathy was playing a role in my life. Pulling back the curtains, I can easily see how that led to pointing out my insecurities, lack of validation, and avoidance of discomfort. Yikes…
Seems like more than just me needed to hear this today. Thanks for writing such an easy to read piece.
I have been following the trial of Elizabeth Holmes, the founder of Theranos, a company that she said was creating a blood testing device that would revolutionize medicine. She dropped out of Stanford at age 19 and raised billions of dollars for this technology that never worked. I’m fascinated by this because my experience in the tech industry tells me it is filled with narcissists that and so good at the “subtle art of manipulation” as you put it, Elizabeth Holmes being one of them from what I can tell at a distant.
Fascinating post! Thank you!
I’m currently reading the book “The First Will Be The Last” by DC Robertson. Being in a relationship with a narcissist, I know first hand what you describe. It’s even more than what you can put into words-thank you for sharing!
You are right, it’s even more than what you can put into words, so unfortunate but so true!