Question of the Day – No. 302 Posted on February 18, 2019February 18, 2019 by Troy Headrick What is the source of your greatest fears, and how do you address those fears? provided by Liz Share this:TwitterFacebookTumblrLinkedInRedditPinterestPocketTelegramWhatsAppSkypeEmailPrintLike this:Like Loading...
54 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 302”
My greatest fear is rooted in everything that anyone has ever said to me, about me. I address these fears by trying to be more aware of my actions, but… by being more conscious of my actions, or being deliberate, then I’m also accused of being inauthentic and manipulative… So… I try to be more open with my thought processes and feelings… But then I’m too emotional or too in the moment, I allow myself to be controlled by my emotions… So I try to be less emotional and more intellectual, but then it’s like they’re talking to a brick wall…
So… yeah. I’ll never be good enough. And I’m afraid that’s the only thing I’ll ever be. Never enough of any one thing.
Who do you need to be good enough for? You don’t have to answer to the world but to yourself. If you are a kind and decent person then fuck what anyone else thinks. When you can learn to release the chains from your mind then you will be free. People might talk shit but if you love you and feel good about your actions then it doesn’t matter what others think.
It’s really how I see myself. I hold such little self worth except for when I see that I am of value to others. It’s pretty messed up. I’m just trying to be good enough to be worthy of existing.
What you believe will determine your actions and the steps you will take in life. I know a man who sabotages his happiness daily. He could have a wonderful life but he has it in his head that life will only give him loneliness and misery and that he’s too big a POS to deserve anything..the thing is he believes that so much that he acts like a POS for no other reason than to make his belief true. It’s like look at this (example of why I don’t deserve love.) He sabotages himself and makes his own life miserable, no one else is doing it to him. I have offered him love and friendship and he rejects both because of his beliefs. I’m telling you about him because if I told you what he did and how he ruins his own life you would see it and think he’s crazy. Most can see the mistakes others make but rarely can see their own issues as clearly. We all deserve love and kindness, everyone alive deserves it. If you truly believe that you don’t then that is an issue that has to be healed so you can have a happy life because if you don’t believe you deserve happy then you won’t have it.
You’re worthy of existing by the simple fact that you exist. Otherwise, you wouldn’t exist. What do you do with your existence will decide how is your life going to be from a qualitative and helpful point of view. So the question is not if you are worthy of existence (which is true for every soul of this Earth), but if you’ll be worthy of being remembered. That’s a question of which only future generations have the answer. Don’t worry about worth. Worry about the quality of your life and the ones you can influence. Is their life better thanks to you? If not yet, what can you do to improve that?
You are worth far more than your weight in gold. After awhile you’ll be able to decern intent behind words and decide if they are to serve you, or if those words are coming from someone wounded or scared.
Thanks. When plagued with negative self talk and self perception, it’s quite difficult to discern if it is the intent of others or my perception that is the root of the deception.
I feel sorry for you. I know life can seem bad and I have felt most of what you describe but things do get better. You have to believe in yourself. Nobody can fix the issues but you and then as if by magic the world will improve and you will prosper.
I am in constant flux between various states of being. Like water, I can be fluid and flexible, or a slap in the face. Water can also erode stone given enough time. But with no container, it is just a mess of a puddle.
Water however can be moulded into ice and carved into spectacular forms. It can also be channeled to give life to the world. So you have the power to create and destroy. Use it wisely.
The state of water is dependent upon the environment it exists. So I could be an ice queen, or steamy. I try to be more mindful of myself, my words, my actions because I do understand their power and influence. I tend to act a mirror with people, and when I may be trying to do something (particularly although not exclusively with my writing, as that memorialises words), the ones I am closest to can think I am being mocking or derisive. I love and I try my best. I just wish others could see my efforts as being genuine effort.
I believe you are too hard on yourself and others do see your efforts. Water can have various levels of softness and you can change its natural levels too. If you have absorbed too much of others (minerals) as I believe you have, you have been hardened to a point that is harmful to your surroundings. This needs to be addressed so that you can return to a purer existence. Then you will be able to appreciate all around you as you will be in harmony with it.
*hugs* That’s a lot of pain you’re holding onto. Trying to measure up to others’ expectations and standards is impossible. So be good enough *for you*.
I’m afraid of being physically hurt. I address it by learning to make the safest choices.
Where do you think is this fear coming from?
Some things are inherently dangerous, like using a chainsaw, axe, knife, potassium hydroxide, battery acid…My mind automatically gravitates to worst case scenarios and to help myself relax I am a safety nerd.
Maybe I watched too many horror movies as I grew up. Now I only watch comedy on rare occasion.
“Safety Nerd” is now a part of my lexicon!
I am mostly afraid of success.
I have begun to address it by telling myself that I can’t do anything but succeed anyway, so I might as well just succeed and get it over with.
What about success makes you afraid?
The having to take care of all the BIG stuff and all. I’m a phlegmatic, so I just want to keep things simple.
Many things which all require there own response. Leaving my comfort zone is a big one but I must be brave if I wish to grow.
True! When was the last time you left your comfort zone and how did you do it?
Whenever I visit a new place I do that.
Definitely leaving my comfort zone. I’ve stepped out a little, but curl up right back inside
That is actually the only way of extending it. Step out and go back it. Every day 🙂
Spiders. I address them but running away, and then coming back with a shoe.
So you face your fears 😀
As a mother, I guess my greatest fear is that of all parents – losing a child. They’re grown up now, but they’re always your babies. As far as general fears go, I hate rats, they just look like they breed germs and a bite from them would hurt like a motherfucker. But my biggest, longest-standing fear is of sharks. I think I saw Jaws far too early. How do I deal with this fear? The simple answer: I don’t. I’m better than I used to be – I can look at pictures of sharks now without having a panic attack, but show me the underwater scenes from Jaws and I just can’t watch.
The fears that don’t affect us on a daily basis are probably not a priority. How old is your child now?
My kids are 18 and 20.
Nice! They’re so big now. You did a great job raising them!
I am afraid of bees. Bees also pollinate flowers with gives us fruits, so I don’t think I should get rid of them.
Hmm. I see. How often is that fear affecting your life?
Well, only in the Spring & Summer
Have you tried doing something about it?
I guess my biggest source of fear comes from my childhood and family background (I had a wonderful childhood, but as in every family I also had my share of drama and bad choices), plus some other “grow up” experiences. So my biggest fear, at the moment, is the very common one of being abandoned. I can stand everything, fights, shouting etc. but in the moment someone I love opens the door I freak out completely.
That is a big fear which can mess up your mood anytime. How do you deal with this fear?
I don’t 😀 So far I have not found a proper way to deal with it. I just panic and cry, or shout, or beg to stay. A few times I managed to breath longer and try to put myself to sleep, repeating that eventually the person would come back. But it’s hard!
just like thegrammarnazi73, my biggest fear is losing one of my kids. just two days ago a child went missing but he was found. i could see the pain his mother was going through, i cant imagine going through anything like that. i deal with this fear by praying that the Almighty keep them safe because surely i cant always be with them wherever they are.
That is one of the biggest fears… I hope no one will go through that…
Outliving my children – there’s just no way to prep for that.
Being trapped in a slowly and painfully decaying body that I can’t communicate with – move somewhere assisted suicide is legal.
Not being able to communicate my love or intentions – leave written word behind, including directives and love letters.
Huge fears! How often are those affecting your mood?
Not as often as they were. My youngest has the most dangerous job, and is the least communicative. That gives me the most sorrow. The rest I’ve done what I can to face/address.
So many told me that I should fear offenders, so I decided to work with sex offenders. There is nothing to fear when you know something. It best to learn about what you are afraid of.
Why should we fear offenders? Once we understand the reason they are offenders in the first place, all fear should be gone…
Of course, we don’t understand completely, but my point is that knowing is better than not knowing.
The source of my fear is my phone 😀I know it sounds crazy but its true.. When I read stories and see pictures about how far the world as moved on without me on social media and the likes, it seems scary to me. Then reading other people writings, I sometimes ask myself can I ever write something as pure and unique like this? I am able ward off those thoughts by revisiting the things I have written and the good I have done..
In my experience, I’ve noticed that most of us tend to criticize our own craft because we can see its flaws (and sometimes we see flaws when they’re not there). We compare it with our standards which sometimes are impossible high, but the thing is that we don’t apply the same standards to other people’s craft. We appreciate more the effort that the craft when it comes to others, but we do the other way around when it comes to us. Comparing ourselves with others is a recipe to bad mood. I believe we need to compare with our past self. How good/bad are you doing compared to two years ago? What’s the main reason for that? What can you do to change it? Does it require change? We own our life so we can do something about it, whilst we can do nothing about others. Now, what kind of life would YOU like to live and how can you get there?
My greatest fears are founded by insecurity. My childhood was very limiting and oppressive. I was blamed for things that were out of my control. That has impacted my life to be static and dull. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities because I was scared to take risks.
That’s tough. What helped you change that perspective?
Just simply seeing that things are able to be better. You get tired of missing out on opportunities that you could’ve been cherishing.