82 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 271

      1. If anyone talks down to me or acts in a way they know is wrong. I stand up and speak my mind. If they argue my points, I stand my ground. To a point. If they should know better and still can’t see the wrong, then I move on.

    1. The questions was, “Which are the most common reasons you argue with other people?”

      Given the question, your reply makes no sense. Could you elaborate?
      Intolerance of what?

      1. What I meant was that when people are intolerant towards other people in a specific situation, I tend to argue with them to tell them not to behave like that.

    1. Nailed it. I have no problem tolerating somebody with a different opinion. It’s when they come at me with hate for disagreeing with them. Took alot of abuse inside and outside the home growing up, so this tends to provoke a “who the hell are you to call me names and tell me I have no right to an opinion?” reaction.

      Yes, it’s an “opportunity for growth” 😀

    2. This is one of the biggest challenge people face. There is a lack of ability to see that other perspectives are as real as the personal one and this creates so much arguments.

  1. I never do. The most I will attempt is self explanation. Much of the time this is received as argument and therefore swiftly terminated by me. I will respond once when someone tries to argue with me, by as gently as possible pointing out both the attempt and iys truly useless and destructive nature. I have to really care about a situation to be around for the second time.

    That said, at this moment I have just remained for dozens of these over a three month period, hoping to hang onto a thirty five year friendship which turned completely away from me yesterday at their very first mention — and am currently awaiting what will probably turn out to be delayed, disguised and petty female roommate type get-evenship (for trying to get things back to even) which may be coming back to me for it, if the first time around is any indicator.

    Looks like I may be not arguing with anyone back out in the rain soon.

      1. Then I stop, an argument should be about the truth regardless of who is correct don’t argue with those who can’t get this they will just feel attacked and no one will learn a thing.

        ECHO ECHO

  2. With family? When they act as if I were completely irrational. I am not the person I was 10, or 45 years ago – I take my medications, i go to therapy, and you know what? I’m fairly intelligent. I can piece together the clues in most situations pretty well, and to be given that patronizing tone of “Well, actually…” Yes, my sister tried to mansplain phone numbers and who kept them to me. I used to work in the industry – I know the drill. If i give you a warning, or say “This is what I’m seeing” I’m not looking for a fight, although many seem to take it that way.

    Outside of family – meh! I’ll generally state my POV, and if that comes back with some rhetoric bull or argument, I’ll just agree to disagree. I’m open to conversations with differing points of view, but arguments still are a trigger for me.

    1. People act as they know the best because they believe they know the best. With family is the worst because they believe they have the right to do whatever they want because they are family. And with others… they don’t matter that much, do they? But they can still trigger some frustrations because that’s how it goes…

      1. Feeling for sure. It hurts me to my core when I think about how racist and biased my family members can be. It makes me question my love and loyalty.

  3. On a personal level there is only one person I argue with and that only happens when they are disrespecting me or other people.

    When it comes to everyone else I don’t care what you wear, what music you like or whether you church or not. I respect everyone BUT I will not tolerate those who disrespect and hurt others. I will speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves. I let people know it’s not okay to objectify women and it’s not okay to sexualize kids. I will put a boot in anyone’s ass for disrespect like that and won’t feel bad about it.

      1. I don’t feel like I have a choice. It’s a natural response. It’s better to say something than to wish I had. That comes from growing up in an abusive house. Sometimes you have to fight for people even if you don’t want to.

  4. Usually I don’t argue (I like to walk away from folks, burns them up so bad😆😆), but….if I do, it has to be something that really grates a nerve (like pretending my point of view isn’t valuable, or asking for advice and doing the opposite when it’s not what you want to hear😲😲)

  5. I try not to argue. Arguments I do get in to are often based on misunderstanding due to tone of voice either on my part or the other person’s.

      1. I try to use what I learned many years ago…”I feel ___, when you___,I need you to ___”. Other times, I just completely shut up and walk away so I don’t say something I’ll regret.

  6. I found arguements rise from lack of interest by another to see things from my point of view.

    1. No. That’s not how arguments work. REAL arguments are a short series of professed premises leading to a conclusion. If A. If B, If C. Then Conclusion, D.

      Arguments can be Valid, meaning that *assuming* A, B & C are true, Conclusion D is, too. Or they can be Sound. Meaning that if there are no assumptions about the truthfulness of Assumptions A, B &C– A, B & C are in fact true– you’re good to go.

  7. Being misunderstood. I often have nuanced and controversial views which require explanation. I have no problem with disagreements, but it’s the mischaracterization of my views that gets me wound up. Probably a bit of a weakness.

    1. Should be ‘Other’s.’ And pointS of view.

      Do you people not own a Little Brown or a Hardbarce?

      1. Wow! You really changed my life now! Thank you so much 😊 No actually I come from the third world but so glad we have brilliant people like you to enlighten us

  8. I left the first comment, and I’ve replied to others.

    “To argue” means to engage in a logical back-and-forth.

    There is no space in a logical argument for feelings.

    Simply put, I don’t care about your feelings.

    The question was, “Which are the most common reasons you argue with other people?”

    To which I replied

    1. They are wrong. 2. I am right. 3. Their arguments are not sound.

    1. Thank you for your interest! In theory, there is no space for feelings. In practice, I’ve never witnessed nor I’ve been part of an argument without feelings. This is because some parts of that conversation (e.g. the tone, the body language, some key words) are processed by without us being aware of. The results are expressed through feelings because we’re unable to find the logical explanation since there is no visibility over those processes.

      1. As far as I know, there are some feelings involved there too. There are feelings of fulfillment when they express their ideas in ways that make them understand those ideas better.

  9. Almost anything. Like the reason why people work out, life perspectives, confirmed bias regarding certain people, etc. Heck, even Pokemon can be an argument material

    …not that I enjoy arguing, but… whenever I see some questionable logic or opinion, I feel like I need to ask, which often escalates into an argument. Most of the time, I end up getting blocked by the opposing party

    1. In real life, I usually argue with my parents. My father in particular. Usually it’s because they are being control freaks, always making up or reinforcing their opinions or ideas against my wish. Unfortunately, they never really want to listen. Apparently, no matter how I try to be level headed and state my opinions why those don’t work with me, they will never want to accept no, even if what they usually say always goes in circles. Disagreeing with them, for them, equals with defying them

    2. So the fact that you ask questions escalates into something more? That’s interesting. I guess there are people that don’t like questions (maybe because they don’t know the answers).

      1. Sometimes I think they are afraid to rethink about their perspective and possibly change about how they view or see things, even if it’s probably good for them

  10. My boss. For being condescending no matter the circumstances. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t kind of things. I’ve started standing up for beliefs and myself recently which had caused some controversy. He does not like confrontation so avoids an argument like the plague but I’m pushing for one and will continue until I get a response. I think we are very close to a battle of wits. I’m ready for some one to play along damnit!

    1. Condescending people are scared of you so they put you down 2. I am right 3. Business is business but that kind of attitude is gonna nite you 4. I am still right and not cocky like said person at beginning of my reply that makes sense….who writes after an ambien?! Lol go read my “insomnia “ post that made me sleep better than ambien lol

    Point is I argue with stupidity because it’s fun. But nothing petty. Just real talk.

      1. Practice. Plus, being well prepared for appropriate responses in order to get conversations flowing back in the right direction. Excited to see what this semester will build upon and growth for self.

      1. I have no negativity buddy in this world I am considered a good person so I am love and hope it’s the people who are just on their own rollercoaster and keep up making stories when they don’t have a thought in my write my loved ones will always be my rhyme

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