11th December, 2018. 4:33 am. DM posted a video about making mistakes. The title alone totally TRIGGERED my memory about writing a post about this topic. So I dug around my personal blog archives and dredged this up for you all to bear witness: Why I am the soi-disant EXPERT OF EVERYTHING! Because I am really an expert of my own self.

I take a bow as I exit this stage (really I’m hunched over and clicked copy and paste, and making sure everything is here) Be warned. it contains swears.

What is the best mistake you’ve ever made? proposed by anupturnedsoul

via Question of the Day – No. 197 — Pointless Overthinking

originally posted on mmmother.com |Wednesday 7th November 2018

The song in my head:

I’m gonna make a mistake. I’m gonna do it on purpose. I’m gonna waste my time ‘Cause I’m full as a tick, and I’m scratching at the surface and what I find is mine. And when the day is done and I look back, and the fact is I had fun fumbling around. All the advice I shunned and I ran where they told me not to run, but I sure had fun. So I’m gonna fuck it up again, I’m gonna do another detour, unpave my path. And if you wanna make sense, whatcha lookin’ at me for? I’m no good at math. And when I find my way back, the fact is I just may stay or I may not. I’ve acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake. I wanna make a mistake. Why can’t I make a mistake? I’m always doing what I think I should, almost always doing everybody good. Why? Do I wanna do right? Of course. But do I really wanna feel I’m forced to answer you? Hell no.

-Fiona Apple, A mistake.

My pennies from my mental pool:

Life is a fucking learning process. Or rather, it is a giant pool of shit. It is both heaven and hell. It is the existence of everything happening all at once, but experienced in linear and logical time. I know mistakes are essential to make because that is how we learn right from wrong, it is how we learn to modify and moderate our own behaviour and actions to not fuck everyone else up.

• I’m a mum, so I know that babies and useless blobs that we love none-the-less because of the potential they represent.
• I’m a a teacher, so I know everyone is stupid until they learn how to do the thing.
• I’m a person, so I know that what works for one isn’t necessarily going to work for someone else.
• I’m female, so I know that it pretty much doesn’t matter what I know, people will just respond to whatever they want to see/hear.
• I’m of mixed-ethnicity, so I know that I’m a combination of other people’s attributes.
• I’m part of generation Y, so I know that we’re all just a bunch of self-entitled twats who don’t want to do things all because we’re told to do it that way.
• I’m married, so I know that things that are worthwhile are not easy to maintain but they’re essential to the continuation of a fulfilling existence (because then we’re not alone. We have someone who loves us just as completely as we love them).
• I’m kinky, in sex but not really. I’m just not vanilla, but vanilla is my favourite flavour. I’m just kinked and curved and coiled and twisted and bent in a variety of ways… always trying to find that middle ground in a miscellany of contexts.
• I’m best explained and described when I refer to myself as an inanimate object…
  • And I guess this time? I’m a fucking bendy and silly straw. 

My contribution in the comments section:

My life is a series of mistakes that I choose to learn from and move on… I hate pain. I know mistakes are necessary that’s why I’m not afraid of making a shit ton of them, that’s why I’m not afraid of change. But all because I know life is pain and pain is caused from mistakes… doens’t mean I suffer through life. Life is just fucking a whole shit ton of suffering. But I won’t suffer through it. I choose to not suffer, I choose to move forward; suffering is to wallow and remain in the sadness and bullshit.
Unless the question is really asking “What was the one thing you knew was wrong, but you did it anyway?” To suggest that the mistake was made on purpose, it was a mistake from the start and it worked out in the end?! Because the mistake produced the opposite result from the projected expectations…. mistakes made on purpose, and turn out to not be mistakes at all… Rebellion. Following the beat of one’s own drum. Making one’s own path and not following the path of other people.

In summary, I am described through the following already existing representations:

• Song: A mistake by Fiona Apple.
• Anthropomorphic metaphor: bendy straw.
• Pop culture character: Discord from My Little Pony: Friendship is magic.

Visit modernmysticmother.com for more retrospective, mind bending, discordant mash-ups. Publish button clicked 5:04 am.