104 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 170

      1. Maybe you need break connection with those people? I’m sure there are others that don’t treat you like this.

      2. Not right now there isn’t. I pretty much avoid all people to avoid getting into those situations though. A recent experience confirmed I am a terrible judge of character right now.

      1. Of course it is. It feels like I’m being operated by a cruel puppeteer and that puppeteer is called love. I’m being yanked back and forth with no mind of my own. I don’t hold any of the strings, you see.

  1. If we you’re talking about life in general I’d confidently give myself an 8.

    However, there will be always be situations where our self-confidence will suffer. That is completly normal.

    The trick here is to UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING;

    Many think that confidence comes from knowing-it-all or being particuarly experienced at one thing or another. Classic examples are things like job interviews, approaching a woman/man in a social situation, receiving a challenging assignment etc.

    Many live under the impression that you need to be of a certain character or have the perfect personality to be really confident in life.

    Yet we all know, that stuff like having all the answers, or being raised by ‘perfect parents’ is rarely true. We therefore assume that REAL confidence is something that doesn’t occur that often.

    The KEY to REAL CONFIDENCE is counterintuitive. It’s about being OKAY AND COMFORTABLE with the fact that you’re not confident in a certain area of life. If yoou’re going through your first interview and aren’t confident, then you need to be comfortable with the fact that you’re unconfident.

    Simply said, you need to be okay with being imperfect.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    1. Yes, it is ok to be imperfect. Actually, I think it’s better because it leaves room for improvement. I think it’s important for us to know in what areas we are confident because we can realize where our strength is. The same with the areas where we lack confidence which indicates where our weaknesses are.

  2. I will answer confidently usually about 6 most of the time other times around 8 or 9 and on occasion I will say 10. I love writing so 10 is what I feel like most of the time lately.

    I am honest though and will have to admit to a 6 most of the time. The above was just mt thoughts running around wild and loose.

      1. Don’t know. Always had it. Nobody noticed till my social anxiety got out od control. I didn’t even know till i got results of psychology tests i took…

      2. Interesting. Although it appears that some of us have some biological predisposition to depression, that doesn’t mean we will have it. It usually requires some triggering factors among with some factors that maintain that state.

      3. School at five years old might have been my trigger 🤔 but my grandmother might have some mental illness but at that time nobody went for testing or anything. They still don’t…

      4. Well, it might not be that important of what the trigger is. Can you look around yourself to see if there is anything external that keeps you in this state?

      5. Well the Earth is dying, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Nothing happens to criminals while innocent people are losing homes because of an unpaid parking ticket… I’ll just browse the internet for cat memes to feel better

      6. Ok, I got it now. So the problem is that all those things happen around us and we see it all the time and both of these two things are maintaining factors.

  3. As you can clearly see by the answers so far that everyone’s confidence can fluctuate. This is because they understand that their self confidence is relative to the context of the situation.
    Their role in the situation, their level of expertise or knowledge, the “opponent” (if there is one), the expectations. The likely result of said situation, other people’s perception of whatever.
    Its easy to be confident if you have nothing to lose. Because there is a distinctive lack of fear.

    1. I didn’t even give my scores, I just realised. I have self confidence of… whatever it is that other people have. I tend to just reflect or copy my “opponent” and match them in stubbornness, or the people around me so as to not stand out. It depends what I’m talking about. If I’m talking about other people, 8. Easy.
      If I talk about myself? 1. Or 0. Or Fuck it, I am the worm and I’ll just bury myself further into the earth.

      1. Exactly. It’s easy to hide behind the faceless crowd, to speak on behalf of the general public (which is actually no-one). But to speak out loud, stand up out of the crows and own it? That’s what’s scary. (But I agreed to do it because I felt I had to if I was to be taken seriously) you know what I mean?

    2. I love that people can differentiate between situations because they realize in what areas are strong and in which ones there is room for improvement. 😀

  4. I give myself a solid 9 for self-confidence. There’s a difference, though, between self-confidence and self-esteem. With self-esteem, I give myself a 10. The fact that I exist is enough. That is, until people enter the picture. Depending on the person, my self-esteem will fluctuate. I really need to stop worrying about what other people think of me.

    1. Yes, self-confidence and self-esteem are two different things.
      Since people are different, they’ll have different opinions so it’s impossible to be liked like everybody. Just like food… we dislike certain dishes even though others love them.

  5. It depends SO much on the situation. Most medical stuff, I’m a solid 9. Home auto repairs? Maybe a 2. Cooking – depends on the technique, but if it’s baking, I’m at 10. Writing – mmm… 7. Reading – 10. Interacting with most other people? 2….

      1. I’m not sure 🤔 maybe tackling my ocd, certainly putting on weight helped. I was always a stick with no figure now I feel more womanly. Finding a partner who makes me happy and fulfilled. Bettering myself though writing and language learning. Just a few ideas that may have boosted me

  6. I’m going with a solid 8.75!
    I’m a total BAMF, but sometimes feel the need to, well, not. But hey! even 2.25 is better than a worm, right?

    1. That’s awesome! It depends indeed of the circumstances we’re in and I think it also depends on the topics we’re referring to, as Liz mentioned.

      1. Yup confidence isn’t an issue when you focus on action and what others judge isn’t your problem. Keep moving forward. You are inertly equipted with the “right” things to do. Regardless of what others opinions are

  7. I’ve often found that more than the task, it depends on the audience you have (or don’t). Often when trying brand new things, it helps if the audience are total strangers whom you don’t think you’ll have to meet ever again, but performing tasks you know you’re normally good at feels reassuring when there are familiar faces around.

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