From experience, I think it’s when we take someone else’s statements too personally and specifically, especially when it concerns issues very close to our hearts. We think we know what we’ve heard–a direct insult–when in fact the other person was likely speaking generically, not knowing anything of our past or our emotional wounds. Thus, it becomes very difficult for the other party to explain themselves, because we get stuck in our aggravated line of thinking and can become more and more frustrated with the other person not admitting to “what they said.”
Yes, I agree. Thank you for your insights! Further more, whenever that someone is actually attacking us, it might be because they perceived something from our message as being threatening to his/hers being even if it’s not. So actually, that attack has nothing to do with us, but more with what they interpreted about what we transmitted.
Oh yes, and the misunderstanding gets deeper and deeper even though those people keep talking.
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So true. Nothing puts up a wall quite like willful ignorance.
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1. Assumptions! Just by seeing the light in someone’s life we assume it to be a sunrise. What if it is a sunset?
2. Disproportionate senses! We hear less and speak more that too with unclear words concealing true emotions.
If u think about it, it’s not even about realistic or unrealistic. The fact that expectations don’t align is a testament to two people not on the same page. Then comes the defensive debate over semantics and rational behind what is realistic and unrealistic. When the flow of need and want don’t meet, guess a baby called misunderstanding is born 😂
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I agree, but it might not be related to expectations here, but a matter of miscommunication. Maybe one is not using the right words to express what he/she wants to express and the other “understands” based on what he/she interprets about what the other said. And as you said, if there are some expectations about what the other should say/behave, the misunderstanding is born.
In my case, it’s not being able to attentively listen. Then applying own emotional filters to already garbled information. Last, making conclusions/assumptions based on this skewed information. And misunderstanding snowballs from there.
From experience, I think it’s when we take someone else’s statements too personally and specifically, especially when it concerns issues very close to our hearts. We think we know what we’ve heard–a direct insult–when in fact the other person was likely speaking generically, not knowing anything of our past or our emotional wounds. Thus, it becomes very difficult for the other party to explain themselves, because we get stuck in our aggravated line of thinking and can become more and more frustrated with the other person not admitting to “what they said.”
Yes, I agree. Thank you for your insights! Further more, whenever that someone is actually attacking us, it might be because they perceived something from our message as being threatening to his/hers being even if it’s not. So actually, that attack has nothing to do with us, but more with what they interpreted about what we transmitted.
When we don’t communicate properly. When we don’t say exactly what we feel.. the mismatch of words and emotions
I totally agree! I wrote some things about this in my post Pointless Words (my very first post 😀 ).
Ok! Can you please share the link?!
Yes! Here it is 😀 https://pointlessoverthinking.wordpress.com/2018/03/08/pointless-words/
Thank you!
As awlays, my pleasure 😀
Preconceived notions combined with a lack of listening and/or empathy.
And sometimes huge ego.
Does tend to go hand-in-hand, doesn’t it?
Oh yes, and the misunderstanding gets deeper and deeper even though those people keep talking.
So true. Nothing puts up a wall quite like willful ignorance.
1. Assumptions! Just by seeing the light in someone’s life we assume it to be a sunrise. What if it is a sunset?
2. Disproportionate senses! We hear less and speak more that too with unclear words concealing true emotions.
I agree! The lack of real communication combined with assumptions creates stupid expectations that are obviously not met and the anger kicks in.
Hmm.. I just hope every one understands this! World will be so much better.
Your blog is awesome 🙂
Thank you! 😀
I’d go with expectations
Very true! Unrealistic expectations can be a really pain in the ass.
If u think about it, it’s not even about realistic or unrealistic. The fact that expectations don’t align is a testament to two people not on the same page. Then comes the defensive debate over semantics and rational behind what is realistic and unrealistic. When the flow of need and want don’t meet, guess a baby called misunderstanding is born 😂
I agree, but it might not be related to expectations here, but a matter of miscommunication. Maybe one is not using the right words to express what he/she wants to express and the other “understands” based on what he/she interprets about what the other said. And as you said, if there are some expectations about what the other should say/behave, the misunderstanding is born.
Very true
Mind
No, I don’t mind :))
Lol 😂 I see…
I think its a failure to listen and fear of seeking clarification.
True 🙂
The inability to listen because of the need to prepare a response.
Yes… we’re preparing for something we don’t have yet (the other one’s response).
Lack of communication
Yes, it’s one of the biggest.
In my case, it’s not being able to attentively listen. Then applying own emotional filters to already garbled information. Last, making conclusions/assumptions based on this skewed information. And misunderstanding snowballs from there.
Since you know what’s the problem, you already took the first step. If you want to fix it, you’ll find a way 🙂
Yes, I’m working on it, constantly 😊
Tone
Yes, I agree with you. Tonality has a big influence on the message we want to transmit.
The reasons is we as humans don’t, listen and we asume instead of asking.
True. But if we realize that this hurtful, we might want to do something about it.
Perceptions.
You’re referring to the fact that we perceive differently what the other ones are trying to transmit?
Yep.