33 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 72

  1. I tend to worry about people getting mad at me for everything I say or do and am always apologizing for things. I think it is a shame response based on years of abuse I survived through my growing up years. I work really hard at not doing it but it is still a struggle. W.L.

    1. When you started this change in your responses? It probably needs more time to become a habit and then it will be easier…

      1. I started to change the habit of doing this when others pointed it out to me that I was doing it and didn’t need to. I can now catch myself doing it most of the time except when in a bad space.

      2. I understand that sometimes it’s harder because there are other things in your mind. If you catch yourself doing it most of the time, I think it means that you almost made a full habit out of it. Congratulations! 😀

  2. I had this yesterday in therapy and came to the conclusion its because i finally set boundaries with them and no longer am a doormat for them..they are mad because i dont do what i once did..

    1. So their expectations are no longer met. I believe it’s a good thing for you to set those boundaries… it will probably help you to rediscover yourself 🙂

  3. Because I do not stand to please anyone! I normally tell them if they are annoying or irritating and I can’t respond the same way they want me to so I guess that makes him feel I’m arrogant and stay away from me! But some understand and are still in touch with me.

      1. In person I look for visual clues, which I pick up very well. Venues like this, people tend to blow up, sometimes to my great surprise! I’ve got so many drafts I haven’t submitted because I worry that they might be misconstrued

      2. I understand that you’re worrying about your work to be misconstrued, but it’s not your responsibility what other people understand and feel about it. It’s their responsibility to make sure they understood it properly, not yours. Your responsibility is to make sure that what you’re trying to transmit is what you’re trying to say. After the message is released, it’s out of your hands 🙂

  4. I move too slow or I’m not clear in expressing myself so I get misunderstood

      1. Ask to be sure I’ve communicated my thoughts clearly…as far as speed idk maybe have an accountability partner and set deadlines

  5. Well, if I make the right observation, people get mad at me when I’m telling the truth (i. e. no “sugar coating”). I might be wrong. But I don’t care. LOL
    Another, is when I give an unsolicited practical advice in response to repetitive complains… sometimes people just want you to commiserate rather than look for the way out…

    1. If you’re telling what you think, it’s not your responsibility how they’re reacting. You’re responsibility is to make sure you transmitted what you wanted to. For the second point, I’ve noticed that sometimes people want to feel that they are listened and that’s it. They don’t want solutions or advises.

      1. Yes, I agree, but many people think otherwise, hence the mad feelings. The second point, yes, they want ears to listen, and I often offer that. But wen the same complaint becomes systematic I tend to get into “find the solution mode”. I guess it’s my own brain’s way to defend my psyche from behind manipulated through my feelings (guilt, for example)

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