Over the weekend, I attended a talk by Jeremy Nobel, author of Project UnLonely. Dr. Nobel discussed why we need to be concerned about the increase in loneliness and disconnection we are seeing in our world today. He also offered some possible solutions to the loneliness crisis.
Being Alone vs. Being Lonely
Dr. Nobel started his talk by showing us a picture similar to the one you see above. He asked us to raise our hands if we thought the individual riding the bike was lonely.
He then explained that being alone doesn’t and being lonely are not the same. Some people are quite happy spending time alone. Loneliness arises when there’s a sense that something is missing. It’s a gap between the social connections we have and the social connections we want to have.
Everyone is at some risk for loneliness, but Dr. Nobel spoke of a “loneliness spiral”, often triggered by some sort of event that causes an individual to pull back and disconnect. That leads to increased loneliness, leading others to disconnect from the individual, resulting in the lonely becoming lonelier.
Why We Need To Be Concerned
Increasing levels of loneliness and social isolation affect our health, and the impact spills over into our workplaces.
First, loneliness affects our mental, physical and social health. Studies show a lack of social connection is more dangerous to our health than smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, drinking 5 alcoholic drinks a day, being physically inactive, or being obese. In 2022, the Journal of the American Heart Association reported social isolation and loneliness are associated with a 30% increased risk of heart attack, stroke or death from either.
In addition to the health impacts, Dr. Nobel spoke of the impact of loneliness in our workplaces. While it’s easy to blame the pandemic, loneliness at work was on the rise before 2020.
And, like other personal issues, employees don’t leave their loneliness issues at home when they come into work every day. Loneliness could negatively impact your workplace in three ways:
- Increased benefit costs and reduced productivity. Lonely people cost their employers 22% more thanks to increased consumption of health care benefits.
- Reduced ability to collaborate effectively with co-workers and customers.
- Negative impact on inclusion and diversity.
It’s clear that loneliness is something we need to be concerned about. So, what can we do about it?
Potential Solutions to Loneliness
As a lover of the arts, I was intrigued when Dr. Nobel spoke about the potential of the arts and creative expression to be part of the solution to loneliness in our workplaces. He explained the arts offer a personalized, fun and non-threatening way to engage people of all ages. Creative expression gives people a chance to express who they are, and activates people mentally, emotionally and behaviourally.
The Foundation for Art & Healing’s UnLonely Workshops and Creativity Circles blend creative expression, mindfulness and social learning. The “Colors and Connection” and “Music and Connection” workshops led to attitudinal improvements and behavioural improvements. You can learn more at artandhealing.org.
On a simpler level, Dr. Nobel said the key to being less lonely is being human. Opening up and connecting with individuals on a personal level is something we can all do every day. Although this is more difficult in a world where we increasingly depend on technology to communicate, it is possible.
As a simple first step, I encourage you to identify people who may be feeling lonely and make an effort to connect with them. It can be as simple as sharing something about yourself and asking them about their family, their pets, their hobbies, or just how their day is going. It could make a big difference in their lives.
Attendees at Dr. Nobel’s presentation received a copy of his book Project UnLonely. I look forward to reading it and reporting my learnings in a future post.
What do you think? Is loneliness out of control in our world today? What can we do to address it? Drop me a comment below with your thoughts.
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Loneliness is a serious issue, By being more aware of the problem and taking steps to connect with others, we can all help create a less lonely world. Thanks for sharing .
It is a serious issue. I’m looking forward to reading Dr. Nobel’s book to learn more.
I believe many seniors are affected by loneliness more so than any other group in my orbit… but I (we, my family) do our part in that respect, and I hope other people will as well.
I do agree that loneliness is a concern for seniors. Interestingly, though, Dr. Nobel’s research indicated that the 18-28 age group is the group most impacted by loneliness.
There’s a component which involves online dating apps which plays a big part in this. I used to research this topic and found it mindbogglingly how active that age demographic (18-30) was with dating apps yet felt more lonely collectively than any other age demographic.
I think young people spend so much time in the online world at the expense of meaningful, face-to-face connections. Many judge their worth by their number of “friends” or followers and how many likes their posts get.
Definitely a fascinating topic to dive into.
You make me realize the importance of reaching out to and connecting with someone who might be lonely. I live in a condo building for seniors that is often compared to living in a sorority house. There is always someone we know and love right within a few paces of our own front door. It keeps us all engaged and happy to be where we are, surrounded by others in similar circumstances. We recently celebrated a 94th birthday, surrounded by a group of 14 residents with an average age in the 80’s—proof positive that the company of others is vital to our health. Note to self: Call Bess TODAY!!
That sounds like a wonderful community, Julia. Strong social connections are so important as we age.
Robin Williams famously said “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
I don’t know what the state of loneliness is for the people in my orbit and feel it might be a mix of both, as in, it’s cyclical. I’m currently of the mindset that I want everyone to go away and leave me alone so I can dwell in solitude (and maybe a bit of loneliness) just so I can hear myself think!
There is more to this topic but I don’t have the bandwidth for it today. But thank you for making me ponder. 🙂
That is such a great quote. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Dr. Nobel spoke about inclusion in his talk as well.
This may sound a bit unconventional, but I think a big part of the problem is the foods we eat. America has some of the highest rates of depression and anxiety, and I don’t’ think it’s a coincidence that the standard American diet is highly inflammatory, nor that brain inflammation in certain regions is directly correlated with certain mental health conditions. That, paired with young people seeing the glamorous “highlight reels” of others’ lives on social media leads them to feel insufficient and isolated. I think the food and social facade feed on one another and lead to that downward spiral.
That said, I love the idea of creative workshops and opportunities to forge connection. I think the issue likely requires a multifaceted approach, and I do think creative expression is likely a big part of the solution.
That’s an interesting point about food, Erin. Our unhealthy diets definitely lead to all sorts of physical and mental health issues. You make a good point about the highlight reels. I do think social media perpetuates shallow connections.
And a big YES to creative workshops. I know how much making and enjoying music with others has enriched my life.
It’s interesting the point on arts and creativity as means of overcoming loneliness. I think it is really useful. And beautiful as well.
Yes, I can definitely see the benefits. I’m looking forward to reading Dr. Nobel’s book to learn more about the projects.
There’s an interesting link with Victor Frankl here. If one has a mission, a purpose, one is arguably never alone. I’d wager that problem areas are young who drift aimlessly and the old, cutting lose from work, with no sense of direction. I know, in recent conversations with both groups, I’ve received surprisingly strong responses when I suggest something they could do.
I agree totally Vic! I’m a big believer in the Japanese concept of Ikigai which is closely linked to Viktor Frankl’s philosophy. If we have things we’re passionate about, it’s easy to develop connections with others. Having worked in the retirement business (financial services) my entire career, I know people give very little thought to how they’ll replace the meaning and purpose they got from their jobs. It’s my “retirement mission” to change that!
Thank you for delving into such an important topic. Love that creative expression is a great way to show up. Also your note, “Opening up and connecting with individuals on a personal level is something we can all do every day.” It strikes me that when we open up, it often helps both ourselves and the other party as well. Thanks, Michelle!
I’m really looking forward to reading the book and learning more about the creative workshops. You’re right that opening up helps all parties involved. Thanks for reading, Wynne.