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Are You Bossy or You Just Have Better Ideas?

I am not bossy, I have just better ideas. I read it in the office of my colleague. At first, it made me laugh, but then I started to think about it. There are not only managers but also people who behave bossy. On the other hand some people seem more co-operative, they like working in team, sharing ideas, and are accountable.

Are they natural born leader?

I consider that being a manager does not mean being a leader. Natural born leaders have natural charisma, managers can be sometime a pain in your neck.

What makes the difference?

The personality, of course. You cannot be a leader if you are not a good listener for instance, and do not think about everyone’s well-being but only at your own. Natural born leaders strive for creating a positive working environment so that everyone feels included, and part of an organisation that cares.

If leaders are not managers, maybe they will create a bit of chaos and confusion but they should be listened by the management, as they may have followers who share their vision.

What about if you are a manager but not a natural born leader? In this case, you should try to listen carefully to your people’s needs, aspirations and ambitions. You should then avoid abusing from the power that your position entails, and also avoid making favouritism among your staff. Moreover, you would need to refrain from micromanaging people.

In one word, you should not be bossy. Your ideas are as much valuables as others’ ideas.

Do you think you are a natural born leader? Why?

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13 thoughts on “Are You Bossy or You Just Have Better Ideas?

  1. Great Post and right on point. I am more of a manager as I am good at carrying out and directing processes. Leaders have the vision and should be the type that makes others “want” to follow their vision. I agree that “bossy” doesn’t look good on anyone. Best Wishes! Leigh

  2. Usually when I thought I have a “better” idea, I start with saying “We could also”, so that I don’t really discourage the first idea. Read somewhere that it’s also good if we follow the first suggestion with “Yes, and…”

  3. First off, your title is hilarious 😂.

    Unpopular opinion: I don’t really think anyone is a natural-born leader. I don’t think bossiness or charisma is the same as leadership, and I think the vast majority of leadership skills are developed via training/coaching and experience. I know for me, while I don’t know that I would yet consider myself to be a leader, the leadership skills I have (eg. public speaking, strategic thinking, communicating my point of view/ideas to senior stakeholders) were developed with experience

  4. If I were to be a leader it would be a case of the blind leading the blind.

    I often think that what makes one a leader is the ability to convince others to follow. If your stock in trade is mostly ego and you don’t mind being followed by fools and knaves, that’s not a very high bar to get over. You might even become President someday.

  5. When I was a kid going to church with my family, the pastors would say, “If you don’t have followers, you’re not a leader; you’re a follower.” And although that sounded like an easy cutout definition, it’s simply not true. I most certainly am NOT a follower, given that to this day the majority of people in my extended family erroneously believe Trump is our savior. And I don’t think I’m a leader, because I can’t seem to persuade them differently. They just refuse to hear anything about it. If I try to point out something, they translate it to something positive.

    That’s just one example. I don’t make my decisions based on what everyone else does. I do my research thoroughly, especially on important issues. And I encourage everyone I meet to as well. Some people agree, but I can tell they won’t. Some people already do. And still others are like sheep. They want to be told what to do by people they think are trustworthy, like dictators and doctors who physically can no longer see. I work for a dentist, who should retire. He has magnified specs to help him see, but many times he can’t. I have to gently show him what the patient’s treatment is (in the mouth) if he’s feeling receptive.

    I know there are people who think like me, but unfortunately they’re few and far between. Especially in Oklahoma. Who knows, if we all got together I might be a leader? But I doubt it. I don’t want the job.

    1. I agree with you Kristina. It’s not black or white. There are areas of your life where you can be a leader and some others where you are a follower. Regarding the dentist you are working with. I went once to a dentist who reminds me of yours. I will never go back again. Maybe in the long run he will loose customers. He should definitely retire!

  6. Another great and thought-provoking post. The sign is funny.

    It brings to mind a moment on a rainy morning when my kids were at loose ends and feeling grumpy because of it. I realized I was their leader whether I liked it or not and it was time to redirect them to do something. So we put on rain gear and jumped in puddles. My point being that the need for leadership shows up in all the areas of our lives, even when we haven’t realized we’ve taken on that mantle.

    Brene Brown talks about four types of power – power over, power with, power to and power within. I think the best leaders are the ones that eschew the traditional power over (because I said so) and instead inspire power with.

    Thanks for a great post, Cristiana!

    1. Thank you Wynne, I agree that leadership skills shows up in different areas of our lives. I think it also depends on our talents or wishes, on what we want to become.

  7. I love that you brought up listening, I think that’s a key to a successful leader relationship. Bossy definitely isn’t a good way to handle a work environment and it doesn’t encourage teamwork

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