Ignite Your Independence

When was the last time you did something by yourself?

Truly by yourself, and for yourself.

Not running errands, grabbing food, not sitting at a quaint café with your nose glued to your screen. A truly fulfilling experience.

An experience led by your intuition, your in-the-moment inspiration… A time when you answered nature’s calling…

Humans are naturally social beings, so it may look weird when we’re out alone, and it can definitely feel weird. I’m sure we’ve all felt that feeling of others’ eyes upon us, ‘are they here alone?’…Yes, yes I am.

The misconception about being independent doesn’t mean you don’t have friends, it doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy sharing that social connection… It just means that today, you are enjoying spending time alone. Alone isn’t lonely.

The first solo trip I took to Romania changed everything for me. It took a lot of confidence but it opened so many doors for me. Doing fulfilling experiences alone makes me feel independent, capable, and free from being confined to fruitless conventions.

Now considering travel restrictions, I can still find that soul-seizing spirit by taking hikes in the beautiful mountains surrounding me. Or going up the canyon to read poetry and watch the sunset. Or doing an artistic photoshoot of my chair in the desert for my blog. There are many soul remedies other than watching Netflix.

So, when was the last time you did something by yourself, and for yourself? How does independence make you feel?

I chose a moose to represent this blog because they are beautiful, solitary creatures. Quite a symbolic sight to come across on my birthday last week. 🙂

Ellen’s personal blog can be found at: http://www.poemsandprose.travel.blog

54 thoughts on “Ignite Your Independence

  1. Great post! As mom to an almost-toddler, I’ve been relishing moments of solitude when they present themselves. How nice it is to be in the quiet with just myself—and perhaps a book—and be able to recharge my batteries for when it’s time to do all of the “things” again. 🕊

  2. I have these kind of moments every week! For me, riding a bike is a really good moment when I can enjoy myself into the nature! I’m used to travel alone quite a lot as well!

    1. Hi Juliano, that sounds like a great hobby! If you’re like me we don’t see exercise as “excercise,” but as a time to reset, recharge, and focus on doing just one thing really good. Take care!

      1. I hope you get to go someday! Norway has so much natural beauty and is very clean with friendly people. Costa Rica has so much to do! It’s the perfect blend of adventure and beach relaxation 🙂

  3. As an introvert, I can say that I do most things by myself, but I’ve got to say the time I felt most alive was some eight years ago when I went to Thailand for a month to train Muay Thai and live in their gyms. Thanks for this great post!

    1. Hi Stuart, I have definitely become more introverted too this past year. Still working on doing more fulfilling activities while alone, rather than just cooking, exercising, reading, etc. These are all great activities for me but they’re not that truly fulfilling. And wow that sounds absolutely amazing to be able to devote that much time to a hobby you love! I would love to go to Thailand and do something similar, don’t think I could keep up with muay thai haha! Cheers and thanks for reading! ~E

  4. When I was an undergraduate, I took some sort of introductory psychology course. The instructor was really cool. I remember her talking about how alonesss and loneliness are two different things. Her words have always stuck with me.

    I grew up without brothers and sisters until I was already finished with my most formative years. Plus, I lived in a lovely rural setting without neighbors next door. The nearest neighbor was probably a twenty-minute walk away. It was a great way to grow up. I grew up without a lot of “white noise” and “noise pollution.” I was able to be alone with my thoughts. The world might look at people who are by themselves and feel sorry for such people. That kind of thinking is totally foreign to me.

    Many people frantically seek out the company of others because they are afraid to be alone. Many people are terrified of themselves.

    I am married now (I’ve actually been married more than once), but I spent large swaths of my life single and very solitary. It never bothered me to go out to restaurants by myself. I know some people wouldn’t dare do such a thing.

    People are very interesting.

    Your blog has made me look back at my life. I spent some really solitary times–sort of out-the-grid experiences–that were so enriching.

    1. “Many people frantically seek out the company of others because they are afraid to be alone. Many people are terrified of themselves.” Excellent observation!

      I need to comment on this (very much truth in the world I have been observing) in particular.

      Not only do many frantically seek company of whomever, but also external entertainment and distraction every single waking moment. Yes, boredom and fear of what may be hidden beneath the thin layer of “I am soooo busy” make many of us …. how do I say this politically correctly…. sad and pathetic?
      And nurturing any kind of fear will produce no good in a living being.

    2. It’s interesting to learn the backgrounds of other ‘solitary’ people. Is it nature or nurture? I also grew up in a rural setting, on a farm with horses, dogs, and dozens of cats I played with every day. Since my sister is 9 years older than me I also grew up very solitary. But I also view that as a blessing. It helped me appreciate alone time and I’ve valued that to this day. I’m sure I always will.

      I think it also taught me how to appreciate and make the most out of alone time even when it’s not by choice. When I moved to different countries alone. Now living in quarantine alone. How much alone time does a person really need? It can be hard but I’ve had some great thinking time to work on my writing and read my favorite books again.

  5. “There are many soul remedies other than watching Netflix.” Thank you E.L. Jayne, Well said! Netflixes of this world I do not call remedies but distraction so we do not have to be “alone”

    “So, when was the last time you did something by yourself, and for yourself? How does independence make you feel?” This morning, as I do pretty much every morning: get up between 5 and 6 and just stare into the darkness of early morning (while the family still sleeps), listening to the sounds of the ocean and eventually listening to me :). It takes some time to learn being by yourself and appreciating it.
    The independence we are talking about here, is (to me ) certain independence of the soul, freedom to choose to be “alone” and do things by yourself and for yourself. I understand and cheer this freedom and independence.
    keep on writing and have a nice day.

    1. Wow, that sounds like quite a rejuvenating morning routine! And yes, I have to say I’ve used Netflix and other distractions way too many times to simply distract me from life. I’m not sure why this so difficult to fix for me but I am working on it and do take moments to appreciate with my own thoughts every day, usually at hour or two reading/writing every night. Some balance! Thanks for sharing, <3E

  6. Before Pandemic, I had a hard time with my friends and was broken which made me into a new person. Now I enjoy my moments in my perspective and not from other person’s perspective which makes me feel good and happy to some extend.
    Now I came to know that I moved from Lonely to Alone. My hard time made me start my little blog and find my happiness living in a mountain with the things I want. I will be updating my experience in my blog in the upcoming days. I loved your blog and indeed I have been planning for my Himalayan road trip all alone. 🙂

  7. Last time was last year around this time I took my first plane ride. Travelled to three different states. It was scary but fun and id love to do that soon. I’m not travelling until this Corona mess has calm down.

  8. Awesome post. I like my me-time at home when my husband is at work, because when I’m home alone, I can get more tasks done. But I’ve always felt a little awkward it I went to get-togethers by myself. I don’t know why, I just did.

    1. uninterrupted time at home gives me so much space, time, and freedom to reset, organize, and get ready for the week. thanks for reading and for sharing 🙂 <3E

  9. This reminded me of my recent solitary hike to the top of a butte in the Grand Tetons. It was an endeavor I needed, my reward after ascending 1600ft being solitude with a notebook. We all need that time to center ourselves just as much as we need social interaction. Thank you for posting your experience and getting this message out there 🙂

    1. Hi Chris, yes, I completely agree! Going on a hike along with thoughts to mull over or with the intention to just reset — it’s magical and mandatory for my mental health. thanks for sharing and kudos to you for that huge ascent!!

  10. This post made me remember the timed I travlled solo.

    It’s find it amusing when some of my friends tell me that they can’t see themselves traveling alone, eating alone, or doing anything else alone. I always encourage them to try it and maybe at one point they’ll find it to be freeing.

    Great post!

    1. Hi Kalvin, I’m sorry this comment must have slipped through the cracks as I always respond within a few days. I’m glad that you encourage your friends to try doing things alone because they might actually end up loving it! I’ve found it to be exactly that, too — freeing 🙂 thanks for sharing and keep it up <3E

  11. At different times in my life I have been afraid of being alone and without a partner to share life with. Through consistent prayer and turning these worries over to God, I am slowly moving towards a sense of peace. I am an extroverted introvert, so need time alone to recharge but suffer if I spend too much time without human contact. I think this is definitely an area of my life where I need to put in work. To go for a long with by myself. To read a book on the beach. To write with pen and paper without feeling the need for connection;human or internet.

    Them you for sharing.

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