SnapDragon Speaks: On Self-Love.

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Greetings, friends!

As you may know, I took a short break from the blogosphere for much of September. Shit happened (as it does) and I needed to turn off and unplug as much as I could, for the sake of my weary mind.

But I’m back, baby!

So this first dive back into the pool will explore this very idea: the idea of self-love.

We see it online. We see it on tee shirts and coffee mugs.

But what does it truly mean to show one’s self. . . love?

Because we all deserve love, even from ourselves.

So often we’re pulled in every direction, in order to meet the needs of others:

mother; father; sister; brother; spouse; partner; friend; teacher; coach; caretaker; driver; nurse; laborer

Now, don’t get me wrong: It is so very good–and important–to give. I want to live in a world where our motto is “You before me.” I want to promote patience, compassion, and forgiveness to all.

So then why is it so difficult to give ourselves a break?

Don’t we deserve to show ourselves these same values of patience, compassion, and forgiveness?

Yes we do, love.

Yes. we. do.

So during my own time of need, I decided to get back to basics. I decided to ask myself a few questions:

How can I treat myself?

How can I give myself a break?

How can I remember that I’m just one person living in this big-ass world, and that I’m not responsible for everything and everyone every single day?

So I wrote myself a little metaphorical prescription:

Snap needs a major dose of self-love, yo.

While my husband, unborn baby, and sweet cats will always remain top priority, I said screw it to pretty much everything else. (Okay, except work. Mama’s gotta get paid!)

SnapDragon’s Prescription for Self-Love:

Turn off the phone. Yep. It’s possible. Turn it off and enjoy the idea of truly being off-the-grid. It’s heavenly. But what if there’s an emergency? They know where you live. They also probably know 9-1-1.

Enjoy your hobbies, without apology. Far too often we critique ourselves; we self-depreciate for no good reason. We feel the need to identify certain activities as “guilty pleasures”, for fear of being judged. And that’s just ridiculous, friend. No one is watching, no one is judging. So go ahead and watch six hours of Seinfeld as you stuff your face with Skittles. Read the cozy-mystery book your literary friends would scoff at. Use your colored pencils. Organize your chapsticks. Do what makes you happy.

Just Say No. It’s hard. But you can do it. You deserve to do it. Because last time I checked you weren’t married to your parents, your siblings, your friends, or co-workers. You are not responsible for them, or their happiness. Period. So when someone asks you to a party and you’d rather stay in and play video games? Do it. You ain’t gotta justify your time to anyone.

. . .

What are some of your favorite self-love activities, Dear Reader? Inquiring minds would like to know. πŸ™‚

SnapDragon is an educator, artist, and lover of life. Follow Snippets of SnapDragon for two-bit musings and more.

24 thoughts on “SnapDragon Speaks: On Self-Love.

  1. Yes! Welcome back- I wrote a little post about self care- it’s such a buzz word right now. Yet, I find it so difficult to let myself just be- languish, enjoy, fuck the to do list. Sigh….. I love to head to the beach. Whether for a few moments or a few hours I can feel the release. And yes to all you described. To take pride in knowing when we need to hunker down and recharge without guilt. That’s beautiful!

  2. Unplugging is a great treat, as is saying “mmm, Nope.” I think my favorite thing is just to enjoy what I’m doing. Am I cooking? SOmething I love or for those I love? Makes a difference. But for me, the biggest, and most difficult thing is to say “Self, what would you do if your Bestie was in this position? Would you browbeat her, say unkind things, would you not give her the grace of some slack? All right then – DO THE SAME for you.” And then I sheepishly say “Self, you’re right. It’s OK to be kind to me, to have feelings that I don’t like and need to process.”

  3. My self love is just taking time out for ME without apology. Sometimes I want to overdose on YouTube. Sometimes I want to make a batch of soap. Just so long as it’s ME for that time!

  4. Saying no is a real anxious job for me. Thanks for addressing the fact that it affects people so much. It’s such a discomfort for me sometimes but I keep going on and in the end I hate myself for that.

    1. Absolutely! It is much easier said than done. Let us remember that we can’t please all the people all the time! We too, deserve love. Thanks for your comment, N. πŸ•Š

      1. Well, sometimes I feel guilty when I spend time on my blog, because I feel I need to study. Same when I do activities with friends (hiking etc). These are my favorite pastime activities/hobbies

  5. This is such an important piece. I very frequently ask myself why I’m such a perfectionist. Why can’t I relax and allow myself to be “average”? Some might argue that being driven is the impetus that causes folks to do great things. I suppose all great artists, inventors, and such have been those who have had a vision and pursued it relentlessly, even obsessively. Greatness comes at a cost, though. I am very hard on myself. I’ve never been happy with myself unless I was noticed by others, achieved honors in school and all that sort of thing. I’m just getting to a point in my life when I feel it’s perfectly acceptable not to be busy and productive all the time and that’s perfectly fine to be “average.” I know I get less stuff done now (perhaps) than I used to, but I feel happier more relaxed. I would add that we should all be more intuitive in the way that we live. If something feels right for a particular moment, then it probably is right for the moment. Rather than planning every minute of every day, perhaps we should live more spontaneously, more intuitively. Thanks so much for writing this. We all needed to hear this message.

    1. Thanks for such a thoughtful comment, Troy. I too, can relate to the perfectionism trap. Sometimes we need a reminder that nobody can do it all, no matter how hard we try. πŸ•Š

  6. What a great article! Sometimes it is too easy to undermine our own needs and just act upon standars others have set for us. Thank you for your unapologetic article:) I recently published a post about self-love on my blog and you reading it would mean a lot! Lots of love

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