It’s a very long story,most of which I believe was beat into me because of my first choice of husband, who turned out to be not a very nice husband or father, It was my choice to stay with him thinking my kids would struggle because we would be alone. I would be a failure at something. When I finally did manage to get the strength to take off, we all had to start over, again my choice which was a tough 3 years. that is just the beginning of it. I have developed a feeling that my failures are the reason I deserve the next bad thing to unfold.
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It is a long argument to make here, but the short version is that you made the best choices you thought at that time. You didn’t know what you know now so I don’t think it would be fair to blame yourself for your choices.
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i understand what you are saying, following it is the hard part
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Yes, of course. But having daily insights about it might help you by easing the problem.
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That is also true. I am working on dealing with positive thinking with my therapist. Hoping it will help.
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I’m sure it will!
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The one that I committed too, yet taught me nothing.
Jumping a 10 foot chasm and breaking my right foot. Then doing it again a couple of years later, breaking my left foot. Committed, but didn’t learn anything.
I know not the germination of the meme, but that no time can I recall before its infestation. It’s always been a voice in my head, sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming.
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That must be tough. Have you grew up with this voice? Did people around you made you feel worthless?
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So many… All centered around a lack of self-worth.
What signs do you have about the fact that they care about you?
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They dont care..that’s the fact.
Signs?? Ditching me in scariest situations. Breaking promises. Giving false hopes and disappointing when I needed them most.
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That must be very tough. We suffer the most when the people we care about break our expectations.
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And that too over and over again..
Makes it so hard to trust anyone at all.
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That I am defined by my cash value. I remind myself that being kind, caring for animals, and listening have a value that money does not.
Negative thoughts are to be transformed, not “destroyed.” To me “destroy” is a violent word and violence leads to more violence. The violence of judging what is “in our head.” Good response, once we recognize we are having negative thoughts and take the time to respond rather that react. This is what meditation teaches up. And contemplating stuff in a blog.
In my opinion, ideas are not the same thing with thoughts. An idea is made by more thoughts put together. For example, I might have an idea of how I could rob a bank and multiple thoughts can come in to find ways to make that idea stronger. I think this is a bad idea that does not need to exist so I think it should be destroyed. And yes, it is a violent word, but violence also involves strength which is something we need. It’s a tough world and I believe we need to be strong, especially mentally.
That I need to please everyone.
How do you think you can change that?
Remind myself daily the one I need to please is God
I deserve bad things to happen to me.
What makes you think that?
It’s a very long story,most of which I believe was beat into me because of my first choice of husband, who turned out to be not a very nice husband or father, It was my choice to stay with him thinking my kids would struggle because we would be alone. I would be a failure at something. When I finally did manage to get the strength to take off, we all had to start over, again my choice which was a tough 3 years. that is just the beginning of it. I have developed a feeling that my failures are the reason I deserve the next bad thing to unfold.
It is a long argument to make here, but the short version is that you made the best choices you thought at that time. You didn’t know what you know now so I don’t think it would be fair to blame yourself for your choices.
i understand what you are saying, following it is the hard part
Yes, of course. But having daily insights about it might help you by easing the problem.
That is also true. I am working on dealing with positive thinking with my therapist. Hoping it will help.
I’m sure it will!
The one that I committed too, yet taught me nothing.
Can you share some examples of such ideas?
Jumping a 10 foot chasm and breaking my right foot. Then doing it again a couple of years later, breaking my left foot. Committed, but didn’t learn anything.
I see your point.
That I am worthless.
What makes you say that?
I know not the germination of the meme, but that no time can I recall before its infestation. It’s always been a voice in my head, sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming.
That must be tough. Have you grew up with this voice? Did people around you made you feel worthless?
So many… All centered around a lack of self-worth.
Approach them one at a time.
I am unable to accept how I am and always strive for more
..that they care about me..
What makes you think it is a bad idea?
They dont.
Whom do you refer to when you say “they”?
Alot of people
Do you care about them?
Yea..that’s the problem
What signs do you have about the fact that they care about you?
They dont care..that’s the fact.
Signs?? Ditching me in scariest situations. Breaking promises. Giving false hopes and disappointing when I needed them most.
That must be very tough. We suffer the most when the people we care about break our expectations.
And that too over and over again..
Makes it so hard to trust anyone at all.
That I am defined by my cash value. I remind myself that being kind, caring for animals, and listening have a value that money does not.
I suggest thinking about money as you think about food. I don’t think you are defined by the food you have in the fridge.
Oh, I <3 this idea~
Negative thoughts are to be transformed, not “destroyed.” To me “destroy” is a violent word and violence leads to more violence. The violence of judging what is “in our head.” Good response, once we recognize we are having negative thoughts and take the time to respond rather that react. This is what meditation teaches up. And contemplating stuff in a blog.
In my opinion, ideas are not the same thing with thoughts. An idea is made by more thoughts put together. For example, I might have an idea of how I could rob a bank and multiple thoughts can come in to find ways to make that idea stronger. I think this is a bad idea that does not need to exist so I think it should be destroyed. And yes, it is a violent word, but violence also involves strength which is something we need. It’s a tough world and I believe we need to be strong, especially mentally.
Ideas are thought forms on the edge of being materialized. They are still a form not yet manifested and can be transformed. Yay for that!
Yay indeed! We would all be f*cked if they are materialized!
That people are talking at my back…
How is this affecting you?
Leading to trust issues
That I have to prove myself to anyone
How do you think you can diminish it’s influence?
Stop listening to unwarranted opinions lol…and know myself
Things are always going to be hard for me.
Yes, this is a strong belief that is affecting us more than it should.
I am not good enough.
Although its pressure has lessened during the years, I need more time to really put this one to rest for good.
Yes, keep working on it! What do you do to put it to rest for good?
That I can’t make it to 5 years in college.
What reasons do you have to believe this?
I don’t particularly like the course I took. My parents choose it for me.
That must be tough… What course do you have to take?
Architecture. 😁
The idea of needing to be accepted by everyone
What would you do if you didn’t have this idea?