I’ve thought long and hard about the question and can honestly say that I can’t think of any regrets. I used to regret ALL the time and mainly it was for not doing something instead of something I had done. I know now that even when I was foolish I was simply doing the best that I could with the knowledge and information I had.
I’ve heard about the theory which states that people make the best choices for them in any moment of their lives. I believe that regret appears because in time we gather more information about a possible outcome and we think that a different choice would have been better, but we didn’t have that knowledge at the moment we made the choice.
Similar to ajourneyintome, I can’t really think of anything I really regret. Certainly there are decisions I could regret were I in a different head space. I’m sure, too, that there are decisions that I regretted in the moment that have, with time and healing, faded away. The thing is, we can’t possibly know what the outcome of the other path was. So there’s not a lot to be gained from holding on to regret; I figure any decision I’ve made has led me to where I am today which is, overall, pretty good.
I agree. Further more, because of that regret, we sometimes try to do something about the choices we already made and this can make things “worse”. The past is in the past. All we can do is to learn from it (at least, until a time traveling machine is invented). :))
Being where I am now, I can’t say I have any. I’m blessed to have come out of what I thought I had in my early days, but it’s made me a better person. It’s allowed me to have an opportunity to help others in various situations.
I don’t really regret anything. Everything I have done, or not done, has lead me here. There are certainly things I wish I had done differently but I definitely don’t regret anything.
Not being honest with myself , as the traditional saying when i look back , but instead mine is not being honest enough to know I have the strength to be me , that is what I regret
put into an alternative context , my past was the lie and me living it was the injustice , but a little liar is the affect of pressure from all aspects of life
Giving chances when he shows you time and again that he doesn’t deserve them, and forgiving the same mistakes over and over. I’m a sucker when I love someone.
Loading...
That’s tough. Are you two friends?
Loading...
We were, but not anymore. I do see him daily though, because we work at the same company. The pain is not as bad anymore.
Loading...
Time heals all wounds, but if you see him daily, it takes some extra time.
Loading...
That is true, yes. It gets more manageable over time.
Loading...
I don’t actually. Whatever decision I’ve made is smthg i thought was right at that time.. if it was a mistake.. I learned and moved on.. if i hurt someone, i apologised and moved on.. 🤔🤔
Not fighting harder for my own mental health is in a tight race with not fighting more for the child support and respect my children deserved from their father. Ah well, what’s done is done. I can only move forward.
I don’t know if this really counts, but when I was 19 years old, I knew I wanted to end up working in the medical field. I wanted to be a researcher, possibly specializing in genetics to learn about, treat, and eliminate hereditary diseases and such. I decided to sit with a woman who had decades of experience in the field, so she might mentor me and steer me in the right direction. At the time, I was obviously quite young, but I was very serious about my studies and was getting good grades at university. I was often the youngest person in my classes because I would take so many at a time, I would end up in advanced classes before my peers did. But I found it all so interesting. It was my life’s calling! I thought this woman would help me. Instead, she made me feel so stupid. She basically told me I wasn’t cut out for the field (how did she know??) and that I was wasting my time. I didn’t know any better; I assumed that she was the expert and was right. My heart was broken, and I moved onto studying a different course. Now, many years later, I am excelling in my 2nd choice and am very happy. I feel like I’m making an immediate difference in the lives of people in my community. So, the discouraging “advice” from the “expert” when I was a teenager turned out to be for the best… but I’m still angry at the way she treated me, and probably treated other young, hopeful people. When people come to me for advice, I always think of the way that woman treated me, and I make an effort to be the opposite of that. That doesn’t mean telling everyone what they want to hear, but there is never any cause to be cruel to someone who just wants a little guidance.
I think it’s awful what that woman did. Even though she is an expert in that field, she cannot see the future. Also, based on what could she decide if you’re cut out for the field or not? As long as you had the passion and the knowledge, you could do whatever you want.
The saying goes “don’t regret what you did, regret what you haven’t done”, that said – biggest regret? Getting married. My husband is a terrific human being but – I’m just not cut out to be married.
Yes, still married. Got married when I was 44, I’m now 71 – It’s tough because I monitor and edit myself constantly so as not to treat my husband badly. I’m unhappy because of ME, not because of him so I have to try very hard, all the time, to not make him unhappy. It’s not his fault I made a poor decision, he deserves better.
Loading...
Wow, 27 years it’s a long time. What are the reasons you need to constantly monitor and edit yourself? Your regular behavior makes him unhappy and you need to adjust it?
Loading...
I have to monitor and edit myself so I don’t behave harshly and negatively and meanly. As I said MY unhappiness is all about ME and not about him. My husband is a very nice man and he doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.
Loading...
Yes, of course, I understand. Have you done this all the time since you got married? I believe you have a great mental strenght.
Probably not doing the right thing while I had the chance…
How many situations like this do you think you have?
100’s if not 1000’s
I’ve thought long and hard about the question and can honestly say that I can’t think of any regrets. I used to regret ALL the time and mainly it was for not doing something instead of something I had done. I know now that even when I was foolish I was simply doing the best that I could with the knowledge and information I had.
I’ve heard about the theory which states that people make the best choices for them in any moment of their lives. I believe that regret appears because in time we gather more information about a possible outcome and we think that a different choice would have been better, but we didn’t have that knowledge at the moment we made the choice.
When we know better we do better.
Similar to ajourneyintome, I can’t really think of anything I really regret. Certainly there are decisions I could regret were I in a different head space. I’m sure, too, that there are decisions that I regretted in the moment that have, with time and healing, faded away. The thing is, we can’t possibly know what the outcome of the other path was. So there’s not a lot to be gained from holding on to regret; I figure any decision I’ve made has led me to where I am today which is, overall, pretty good.
I agree. Further more, because of that regret, we sometimes try to do something about the choices we already made and this can make things “worse”. The past is in the past. All we can do is to learn from it (at least, until a time traveling machine is invented). :))
Quitting too early with an important thing, in the fear of I can’t achieve it…
Yes, fear can stop us from doing many things…
Being where I am now, I can’t say I have any. I’m blessed to have come out of what I thought I had in my early days, but it’s made me a better person. It’s allowed me to have an opportunity to help others in various situations.
It sounds like you’re blessed indeed. 🙂
I don’t really regret anything. Everything I have done, or not done, has lead me here. There are certainly things I wish I had done differently but I definitely don’t regret anything.
This is a great way of looking at things!
Our thoughts match!! 😀✨😊❤
Not being honest with myself , as the traditional saying when i look back , but instead mine is not being honest enough to know I have the strength to be me , that is what I regret
So your past is a little liar?
put into an alternative context , my past was the lie and me living it was the injustice , but a little liar is the affect of pressure from all aspects of life
Not marrying my best friend
Has that affected your friendship?
It did tremendously!
Are you still friends now?
Falling in love too quickly and being too forgiving of a person that did not care about me at all.
The forgiving part is because of that falling in love?
Giving chances when he shows you time and again that he doesn’t deserve them, and forgiving the same mistakes over and over. I’m a sucker when I love someone.
That’s tough. Are you two friends?
We were, but not anymore. I do see him daily though, because we work at the same company. The pain is not as bad anymore.
Time heals all wounds, but if you see him daily, it takes some extra time.
That is true, yes. It gets more manageable over time.
I don’t actually. Whatever decision I’ve made is smthg i thought was right at that time.. if it was a mistake.. I learned and moved on.. if i hurt someone, i apologised and moved on.. 🤔🤔
Not fighting harder for my own mental health is in a tight race with not fighting more for the child support and respect my children deserved from their father. Ah well, what’s done is done. I can only move forward.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) we cannot change our past… we can only move forward with our lives…
I don’t know if this really counts, but when I was 19 years old, I knew I wanted to end up working in the medical field. I wanted to be a researcher, possibly specializing in genetics to learn about, treat, and eliminate hereditary diseases and such. I decided to sit with a woman who had decades of experience in the field, so she might mentor me and steer me in the right direction. At the time, I was obviously quite young, but I was very serious about my studies and was getting good grades at university. I was often the youngest person in my classes because I would take so many at a time, I would end up in advanced classes before my peers did. But I found it all so interesting. It was my life’s calling! I thought this woman would help me. Instead, she made me feel so stupid. She basically told me I wasn’t cut out for the field (how did she know??) and that I was wasting my time. I didn’t know any better; I assumed that she was the expert and was right. My heart was broken, and I moved onto studying a different course. Now, many years later, I am excelling in my 2nd choice and am very happy. I feel like I’m making an immediate difference in the lives of people in my community. So, the discouraging “advice” from the “expert” when I was a teenager turned out to be for the best… but I’m still angry at the way she treated me, and probably treated other young, hopeful people. When people come to me for advice, I always think of the way that woman treated me, and I make an effort to be the opposite of that. That doesn’t mean telling everyone what they want to hear, but there is never any cause to be cruel to someone who just wants a little guidance.
I think it’s awful what that woman did. Even though she is an expert in that field, she cannot see the future. Also, based on what could she decide if you’re cut out for the field or not? As long as you had the passion and the knowledge, you could do whatever you want.
The saying goes “don’t regret what you did, regret what you haven’t done”, that said – biggest regret? Getting married. My husband is a terrific human being but – I’m just not cut out to be married.
That must be very tough. Are you still married?
Yes, still married. Got married when I was 44, I’m now 71 – It’s tough because I monitor and edit myself constantly so as not to treat my husband badly. I’m unhappy because of ME, not because of him so I have to try very hard, all the time, to not make him unhappy. It’s not his fault I made a poor decision, he deserves better.
Wow, 27 years it’s a long time. What are the reasons you need to constantly monitor and edit yourself? Your regular behavior makes him unhappy and you need to adjust it?
I have to monitor and edit myself so I don’t behave harshly and negatively and meanly. As I said MY unhappiness is all about ME and not about him. My husband is a very nice man and he doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.
Yes, of course, I understand. Have you done this all the time since you got married? I believe you have a great mental strenght.