American readers have an opportunity at their Thanksgiving celebrations this week to make this year’s holiday season less costly and more meaningful. If you’d like to simplify your holiday celebrations, it could be time to have a conversation with family about shifting the focus of the holidays from presents to presence.
Joy Doesn’t Come from a Store
The original animated cartoon of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of my favourite Christmas shows. If you’re not familiar with the story, the Grinch puts together an evil plot to rob the residents of Whoville of their Christmas celebration. On the night before Christmas, the Grinch breaks into their houses and steals their presents, and the food for their Christmas feast.
But the Grinch’s efforts did not dampen the Christmas spirit of Whoville’s residents. Instead of tears in Whoville on Christmas morning, the Grinch is surprised at the sight and sound of the residents gathering to sing a joyful Christmas song.
The message of the story is that Christmas isn’t about toys and treats. The Whos had figured out the value of presence over presents.
Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.
– Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Why do we Keep Buying Unwanted Gifts?
Last summer, our niece had a birthday party for her one-year-old twins and three-year-old daughter. On the invitation, she asked people NOT to bring gifts because they are trying to teach their children that time with loved ones is the best gift of all. What a wonderful message!
I donated the money I had planned to spend on gifts to a children’s charity. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at the party and saw a mountain of gifts from other guests. When I told our niece that I had taken her message to heart, she responded that she wished everyone else had. And she pointed at the pile of gifts and said, “We don’t need any of this.”
Finder reports Americans spend over $9 billion a year on unwanted gifts. That’s a staggering number, and it’s a sign that we need to step back and rethink our gift-giving traditions.
Reimagining Holiday Traditions
When I think back to my childhood Christmas celebrations, I only remember one or two of the gifts I received. The things I do remember are the delicious dinners my mum cooked, lots of homemade goodies, and visits with family and friends.
When my daughters were small, I was guilty of going overboard buying presents. I suppose it’s the wisdom of life experience, but I now realize that gifts are the least important part of Christmas. Given a choice between spending time with family or a pile of presents under the tree, there really is no choice.
In recent years, we’ve scaled back our gift giving with immediate family to stockings that we mostly stuff with consumables. And we’ve agreed with most of our extended family and friends not to buy gifts for each other. Instead, we plan a get-together or donate the money we would have spent on gifts to charity.
Choose to Do Things Differently
Feeling stressed and frazzled by the thought of all the holiday preparations is a good sign that it’s time for a change. Christmas is one month away, so there’s still time to capture the joy of the residents of Whoville and make this year’s holiday season about presence not presents.
If you’re really serious about making a change, start the discussion with friends and family soon. It’s a conversation no one want to initiate, yet every time I’ve suggested to anyone we stop buying presents, it has been received positively. More often than not I heard, “I’ve been thinking the exact same thing, but didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.”
Be courageous. Be the one to bring it up. Years from now, no one will remember who suggested the change. Instead, they’ll remember the good times you’ve enjoyed together.
How do you approach holiday gift giving with friends and family? Drop me a comment below with your thoughts.
Learn more about me in my bio and on my personal blog at BoomerEcoCrusader.com. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest.
Very Beautiful message. Happiness comes from relationships and shared experiences, not from what we can buy or possess.
I agree, but it’s difficult for so many people to resist the advertising messages that promise a specific product will bring them joy and happiness!
That is Also very true .
It’s very interesting the story about your niece’s child birthday. It shows how difficult is to respect others wishes. I remember when my son was a little boy we always asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he didn’t know what to ask. Once, when he was a bit older, he decided to donate to orphans a lot of toys. You did well to make a donations to a children charity.
Thanks Cristiana. My daughters did that one year for their birthday parties. They asked their friends to make donations to charities. It doesn’t feel right to accumulate stuff we don’t need when others have so little.
Presence — that’s brilliant, Michelle! Thank you for the holiday guide!
You’re welcome. And Happy Thanksgiving!
A wonderful message! 🌞
Thank you Dave!
Great message! And I love that last paragraph – somebody has to get things started!
Thanks Todd! Most people spend the holidays feeling overwhelmed and feel a sense of relief when someone speaks up with a suggestion to cut back.