Several years ago, a friend of mine went to climb Kilimanjaro with her then boyfriend. She was in her early forties, about 5 feet tall, and about 100 pounds. He was 6’3” tall and probably 250 pounds. Because she had climbing experience and he didn’t, she’d did as much as she could to help him prepare.
She worked out with him.
She helped him with his nutrition and travel plans.
She scheduled training hikes as often as he could.
I haven’t climbed Kilimanjaro. But I understand that it’s a fascinating climb because it goes through five different climatic zones as you climb from the base to the top at 19,340 feet. Climbers start out in African bushland and then end up in frigid conditions for the last portion.
My friend, her boyfriend, and the rest of the group reached their highest camp at about 18,000 feet. And when they unrolled their respective sleeping bags, it became clear the boyfriend’s bag no longer fit him. He’d had it since his early 20’s and hadn’t tried it out before packing it. His strategy to leave it unzipped worked at the lower elevations, but it was awfully cold higher up. In the middle of the night, he started clamoring for my friend to lie on top of him to keep him warm.
No One Can Climb Your Mountains For You
I love this story because it reminds me of two key things. First, no one can climb your mountains for you. In retrospect, one of the problems started long before my friend and her boyfriend left the US. It turned out he’d been working out on the treadmill. But he’d been exaggerating his work out times and also had been hanging on to the rails of the treadmill most of the time. It meant that he was really struggling as they climbed and his exhaustion made everything worse.
So this was a systems problem. Not doing everything possible to set up the conditions for success.
What Do You Do When Things Get Hard?
And the second key thing this story brings up for me is a question about when things get hard. When you face a moment in life that you are unprepared for, what do you do? Get inventive (wear your parka to bed), suffer in silence, or expect someone else to jump in to fix it?
I know I’ve done all three. The worst results have come when I expect someone else to fix it because I end up feeling disempowered. The best is when I get inventive because it sparks some creative troubleshooting.
In the end, the boyfriend made it to the top. Nothing dramatic happened. He didn’t lose a limb because his sleeping bag didn’t fit. But I don’t think he ever climbed a mountain again.
Which is okay, because his example to do everything possible to prepare and get inventive when things go wrong lives on.
I’ve published a related post on my personal blog: Waiting For the Big Answers
Please check out these other items of interest:
More about Wynne Leon and her story-telling journey
Workshop about creativity jump start that I delivered with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
Speaking and workshops on leadership through creativity to build resilient teams
Podcast about the how and why of creativity
Articles and corporate creativity resources
Corporate evaluate your team needs for creativity
Individual creativity survey for individuals
My book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.
You can find me on Instagram and Twitter @wynneleon
(featured photo from Pexels)
A great majority of people have little concept of lying to themselves. And, such people cannot be “coached” until they are in deep shit. Sorry, couldn’t stop from commenting. By the way, if your friend could not read her boyfriend anymore than indicated, then she has a gap too.
Well, she broke up with him shortly after they returned.
Doing everything possible to prepare and being honest with ourselves about the ‘prep’. Such a vivid example – putting in the time on the treadmill but needing to let go of the handrails. Terrific wisdom right there. 😉
I’m laughing because you nailed it. Need to let go of the handrails. Right!
Weeee!!!!! 😜
Just goes to show, “we don’t know what we don’t know”! Boyfriend may have thought Girlfriend was somewhat exaggerating the arduousness of the climb, after all she was petite, while he on the other hand was “big and strong”, which led him to overestimate his capabilities. They were so fortunate that nothing terrible happened to him.
This is a real life issue, not only related to mountain climbing and preparing for it.
Also, her desire to have his company on the climb may have overshadowed the wisdom of taking a newbie climber. So many of us do this, we want something or somebody in our life so much that we overlook some early red flags!
So many insightful points, Tamara. Yes, I think she thought it would be great to do this with him. And on his part, he wanted to be someone who had climbed a mountain, but not necessarily someone who had done all the work to be a climber. Does that make any sense? And you’re right – it’s lucky he came out of it unscathed. Other than a broken heart when she broke up with him.
I don’t know how many times I said some variation of this to my 4 kids (when they were old enough to manage themselves): “YOUR lack of planning (bad judgement, etc.) is not going to become MY emergency.” In other words, I’ll be there to support you, but you’ve got to fix this yourself. Of course, I’ve been guilty of underestimating or making bad decisions too– I just plow forward!
Oh, oh, oh – what a great point, Gwen. Right! But it’s hard not to fix it for them, isn’t it? I’ve got to practice stop doing that before my kids get any older!
I like the metaphor “ No One Can Climb Your Mountains For You” I think it’s true. At a certain point you shall realize that no one can do things for you. They can help you but sooner or later you have to learn to fly on your own. Beautiful story Wynne!
Thanks, Cristiana. And maybe it even includes no one can set goals for you but you which might have been part of the problem here.
Yes, absolutely
Reminds me of my old coach, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
Perfectly said, Jorge!
Such a good point about how you felt when you let someone else jump in and fix things. It’s far better to get creative and own the solution yourself.
Exactly, Michelle! So good to own the solution. Loved seeing you this morning!
Loved the workshop. I’ve been pondering my six word stories all afternoon.
That’s fantastic. I’m sure they are marvelous!
“No One Can Climb Your Mountains For You” I sure wish this was thd case! Ugh, but so true, and just what I needed to hear today. Get up and face your challenges Brian!!!! Ha ha
Oh, I hear you my friend. I have frequently wished others would climb the mountain for me – and conversely wished I could just get it done for someone else. Dang, this walking alongside!
You can’t fake the preparation and expect to then be prepared! He asked his girlfriend to lay on top of him for warmth? That’s a new one. And I love your point about disempowerment when you expect someone else to fix your problems. Excellent post. Hugs, C
I love this comment, Cheryl. You get all the humor and eye roll on this one. Yep, you can’t fake preparation!
I love the climbing stories- they’re always interesting and come with a good lesson 😎
Thanks, Todd! Gotta get something out of a whole lot of blood, sweat and tears. Right? 🙂
😁
Take a nap?! 🥰