Joy. It’s a simple word, and one we hear often. But what does it really mean to be joyful? Is joy the same as happiness? And how do we bring more joy into our lives?
Many people spend their lives on a continuous quest for happiness, but is that the right goal? In their book Love People, Use Things, The Minimalists Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus discuss joy as the highest form of wellbeing—ranking it above pleasure, happiness and contentment.
If you search the joy and wellbeing connection, you won’t find a lot of research on the topic, but Dr. Pamela Ebstyne-King of the Thrive Center for Human Development has studied it extensively.
Joy is an enduring, deep delight in what holds the most significance.
Pamela Ebstyne-King
In an interview with Psychology Today, Dr. Ebsytne-King observed that happiness is fleeting—it comes and goes. Joy, on the other hand is an enduring, underlying sense of something deeper. It involves our thoughts, feelings, and actions related to what matters most in our lives.
Dr. Ebstyne-King identified three areas that characterize joy.
- Self—growing in authenticity and living in our strengths.
- Others—growing relationships and contributing to others.
- Values—living in alignment with our ethical and spiritual ideals.
When these three areas overlap, we experience the most joy. In Charitable Giving and the Helper’s High, I discussed the benefits of volunteering and helping others. When I consider Dr. Ebstyne-King’s research on joy, it all makes sense. Charitable giving and volunteering provide an opportunity to experience all three of these areas at once. Joy abounds!
Cultivating Joy in Your Life
So how can you get more joy in your life? Dr. Ebstyne-King suggests it is a habit we can cultivate, even when faced with adversity.
So, related to the three areas that inform joy—self, others, values—here are my ideas to cultivate your joy this holiday season.
- Start with self-awareness. As you go about your daily activities at this busy time of year, make a mental note of times when you feel joy. Consider how that feeling of joy connects with your strengths and the things that matter in your life.
- It’s interesting that so much research on happiness and wellbeing points out the good feeling you get from doing good for others. Take the time to do something good for someone else—no matter how small.
- At the end of each day, write down a few things that brought you joy that day. Consider how that feeling of joy reflected your values.
As I wrapped up this post, I saw an excellent piece from Fritz at The Retirement Manifesto site. In 10 Ways to Find Joy in Life, Fritz shared highlights of a discussion at a recent Retirement Mastermind meeting and challenged us to write down our own answer to the question “How do you find joy in life?” and share it in the blog comments.
Here are the two things I wrote down and shared in the comments:
- Learn to enjoy the stillness. I’m an early riser so my favourite time of day is early morning when the house is quiet. I sip my tea, read, write and just savour the quiet.
- Be mindful. I think this goes along with your first point about mindset. It’s about being aware of things that make you smile or bring you joy.
In this last week before Christmas, I wish you an abundance of joy. Take the opportunity this week to think of ways to actively pursue more joy in your life and make that a goal for 2024. And I encourage you to check out The Retirement Manifesto’s post for some additional inspiration.
What brings you joy? Drop me a comment below and let me know.
Learn more about me in my bio and on my personal blog at BoomerEcoCrusader.com. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest.
Cultivating my creativity brings me joy. Reading an entertaining book might only bring happiness. The benefits might decay once I stop reading. If it’s a profound enough book the act of reading it and contemplating it afterwards could be as joy inducing as creative writing. Eating a chocolate bar is normally just a fleeting pleasure, but what if you associate it with a more profound experience?
That’s the thing about joy. It’s so personal, right? I sing in my church choir. For those who listen to our music, it might bring happiness for a few minutes (at least I hope so). For those of us making the music, it’s a source of joy! Thanks for reading.
I think it’s unfortunate when happiness and joy are treated like synonyms despite happiness being much more dependent on circumstances than joy. The pampered might be happy, but maybe they will be a monstrous mess of frustration and rage as soon as they can’t afford a massage or a fancy dinner.
That’s so true. Happiness is mostly fuelled by external factors whereas joy comes from within. Beautiful insight. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing , Mental health advocacy fuels my writing. Sharing insights and potential solutions through blog posts fills me with purpose.
That’s brilliant! I think those of us who pursue any creative endeavour gain a lot of joy and purpose from it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I echo your mission, in that I see emotional healing as something that is doable, necessary, and helps to remove the inner roadblocks we have, where we may subconsciously self-sabotage because we don’t feel we ‘deserve’ joy or happiness! It brings me joy to be able to share and help support others on their journeys!
That’s a great point, Tamara. It’s interesting how we talk ourselves out of things sometimes.
Joy is a beautiful thing. It’s just like authentic peace, which is something that can only be found within. Wishing you an abundance of joy as well. Take Care!
Thanks so much Shaun. So true that we can only find true joy within. I think that’s what makes it so enduring. It isn’t dependent on outside forces that can change at a moment’s notice.
“Learn to enjoy the stillness.” I love that, I’ve found that there’s so much to learn in the silences of our life. I have to remind myself to pay attention, it’s too easy to pick up the phone to keep us company, but the stillness is where the real joy is. Thank you Michelle. So wise.
Thanks Brian. I’ve always been a morning person but have only really learned to savour the early-morning peace and quiet over the last few years. In a world where noise and distractions reign, it’s such a great way to start the day.
Happy joyful week to you Michelle.
Thank you! I wish you the same!
Love that you include how we can cultivate joy. Brene Brown calls it a way to create an upward spiral in life. Wishing you joy, peace and a Merry Christmas, Michelle!
Thank you Wynne. Ooh…an upward spiral. I love that!
Amazing post ✨️
Joy is inner feeling and happiness is the outer feeling… if you want happiness, you have to activate Joy by doing favorite and interested things..
Joy is always in hibernate mode…
“Joy is always in hibernate mode.” I love that Umesh. Thank you for reading!
Walking in the nature and spending time with my family brings me joy. And many other small things of life, like watching a meaningful film, visiting a beautiful painting exhibition, eating good food. Also reading posts like this of yours Michelle brought me joy!
Yes, it’s often the simplest of things that can bring us joy. Thanks so much for your kind words, Cristiana!