Remember Boyz II Men- the great Philadelphia R&B band from the 90s? One of their biggest hit songs may apply to me right now:
The End Of The Road
I may be at the end of the road with my writing. I’ve written about this before on my personal blog, (btw- if that’s something you’re interested in checking out, you’d better do it quick because I’m not sure if I’m soon pulling the plug on it or not).
I’m not sure what type of writer I am. I’m also not sure if I have anything to say right now. I’ve tried writing personal stories and opinion pieces. I’ve tried taking the little instances of daily life and reflecting on their deeper meaning. I’ve experimented with telling jokes, sharing parenting advice and even a few travel tips. For a while, it was fun. But now it seems like a task I have to complete.
Who am I completing it for? Myself? The handful of people that are kind enough to read it?
I think I still enjoy writing when I have something to say, but at this point I just don’t have anything to say.
But I am very fond of my friends at Wise & Shine and our product. I still believe in the potential of this project. So, I’m not ready to give that one up.
But I’m also not feeling the burn of new stories and ideas as they leap out of my fingers and onto the screen.
And while I’m whining about writing, let me just mention this other thing I’m very sick of: SEO.
I understand that it’s important and I get the reasons why. But I’m sick of seeing my computerized SEO guide tell me what a bad writer I am, and how my stories and style are not readable.
I have to be honest- I don’t care. When I post something, I think it’s readable or else I wouldn’t post it. I understand that fewer people will see my piece if I don’t follow the SEO rules, but- I don’t care.
I feel like a musician whose record label demands him to write a certain type of song, when his inspiration is to write something else.
“This record will never sell,” the label says.
“Who cares. We’re playing what we feel,” says the band.
Except that I do care a bit. I certainly want people to see and read my writing, yet I don’t want to do it “the right way” unless it suits me.
I’m beginning to resist the time and effort it takes to write. I’m starting to resent the posting deadlines even though most of them are self-imposed.
More posts is supposed to equal more readers which is supposed to equal- what exactly?
Wynne asked me how I knew whether or not to continue working on a project when things were not going well.
I said something along the lines of this: if the effort is fun, or if I’m inspired by some part of the process or the result, then I don’t mind the setbacks that come with trying to figure things out. But if I’m dreading the process, then I know that the project is not for me.
I may have reached that point of dreading the process with writing. I’m not sure.
I’m not ready to totally give up yet, but I have had my hand on the mouse several times, ready to delete my personal blog. But I guess I’ll leave it up at least for now; unattended and barely visited, not unlike the corner grocery store that sits across the intersection from the brand new Walmart.
“Is that old place even open anymore?”
I’ll continue writing for Wise & Shine and hopefully will work through my issues. But as far regular posting on my other site, I think BB King summed it up the best…at least for now.
The Thrill Is Gone
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