Her anger was subdued but she was volatile. It wasn’t my fault this time though. She had just gotten home from school, where she teaches fourth grade. It wasn’t a particularly bad day, but for whatever reason she was in a sour mood. Irritation and distaste bubbled just below the surface of her unamused facial expression.
I’m no stranger to this. But not because my wife is often grumpy- she’s not. It’s me. I’m the moody one who spends quality time with grouchiness at regular intervals.
I don’t know why it happens, but when it does, I don’t fight it. I just retreat to myself, letting it wash over me and recede like a wave on the beach. It honestly feels good in a way.
I let my negativity burn out in solitude. I reflect and work through the thoughts, attitudes and actions I need to address. As an introvert, I value the time spent alone. I can bitch, whine, pity myself, and vent about others and myself without being criticized. I can rest, recharge and return to my “normal self“. The me that returns from these sessions is usually better off in some way than before.
These grumpy episodes happen so infrequently to my wife that I think she was surprised a bit when one washed over her the other day. She didn’t really know what to do.
I recommended one of my favorite treatments; solitude in a cooler-than-normal living room, sleeping on the couch with a warm blanket, with mindless TV shows playing all night. There’s something about this method that helps me accomplish everything that needs addressed in my waves of grumpiness, and it’s even a bit fun.
My wife’s lack of familiarity with being in a bad mood for no obvious reason, has me wondering how often other people run into these moods and how they handle them.
How about you? Do you get generally grouchy sometimes? How often? What do you do then? Do you find any value in the experience?