It’s a rainy Monday evening here in Salt Lake City—a perfect occasion to sit on my living room floor and write. Here’s what my mind has been mulling over:
A person’s love language is how they feel and receive love.
When someone tells me they read my latest poem or article that I posted, I feel so loved and seen. I am honored someone took time out of their day to read what I wanted to share.
Reading what I write is honestly one of my biggest love languages. Do my fellow authors feel the same way? Do your partners read what you write? Do you prefer to stay anonymous?
Also happy National Coming Out Day for our readers from the US <3
59 thoughts on “Love Languages: A Question for my fellow writers”
My partner rarely reads what I have written. I have come to terms that few family members read any of my things. What I think I am comfortable with is getting acknowledgements from people I don’t know.
I’m lucky that my family takes an interest in what I write about and love when they comment on posts I’ve shared. I also really appreciate when my partner reads what I’ve written. It’s getting to know another side of me.
I haven’t told any of my close friends or family… only my partner. I’m not ready to expose myself to people I know yet 😅
I feel you on this, it definitely opens up a part of yourself that isn’t commonly seen by others. Although it makes me nervous I have nothing to hide and would rather have them know the full me and know that they won’t judge me. Hopefully you can find the same!
I am slowly telling people as I become more comfortable with it. So I’m getting there 😀
And you will get there!
Does that come under Words of Affirmation? I’m currently reading one of the editions of Gary Chapman’s book. Your question about love language is interesting, because recognition and appreciation seems to be the common denominator to all of them. Does that mean it is something more fundamental than Chapman’s five languages? I watched a funny show the other day where two people humorously said that “roasting” (ie teasing) was their love language. Are the five love languages too narrow or do they neglect other aspects and ways that people express/receive love?
I think out of the five, it most closely relates to words of affirmation. Although I don’t need to have them comment on my post or even agree with what I wrote. It just means a lot to me to have them show interest in what I create. And that’s funny I’m pretty sure “roasting” is my family and I’s love language! I think there might be a case for adding more love languages because humor, music, and time apart are some that come to the top of my mind that I’m not sure would fall into a category. What do you think about the 5 love languages?
Perhaps it’s a quality time thing, someone has taken the time to read, regardless of what words of affirmation they may give?
I think the guy who wrote the books has a decent background in counselling to be able to definitively narrow it to the five he has. But I also think it can be a bit “hearts and flowers”. The author also writes from a belief system that not everyone subscribes to and I think this also colours it a bit. But generally I think it is sound and useful to know… what do you think?
That would make sense for me because quality time is my #1 love language and I love when people read what I share. I do think it falls into the category of quality time because that person is using their time to do something meaningful for you. (Kind of sounds like an act of service how I described it, but I wouldn’t consider it that.)
I haven’t read the book about love languages I have just taken the test numerous times. I more so subscribe to the “hearts and flowers” belief system but I understand other people have different perspectives. I think regardless it’s helpful to understand how we receive and feel love so we can communicate that with those around us. Vice versa, we can also attune how we love others so they feel loved as well. Would you recommend me to read the book?
Yes I’d recommend it, though it sounds like you know a bit already. It is a helpful book and the theory seems to work in most cases.
I for one can do with less “roasting”.
Roasting is what keeps our family together! Lol
An interesting question — I think one of my love languages must be privacy. I rarely share my writing with my family and friends. I keep my blog anonymous from them. I will show my husband some writing, but it makes my soul feel so naked. I think it’s great you are comfortable enough with yourself and your partner to show them your writings 🙂 I aspire to be at that level one day!
There are definitely many things I write that are just my own. And since I write a lot about love and heartbreak and all the ups and downs, it really gives a window into my life. Yes I can feel naked too but I’d rather put it all out there than hide what I am feeling. And if you desire to share more with your loved ones start small and go from there, you’ve got nothing to lose, only to gain! xo <3E
I love your perspective. Yes you indeed inspire me to open myself up a little bit more.🙂
You’ve got this! 🙂
Definitely! I love when people appreciate what I write and also the people who criticize what I have written. I really appreciate it. Somehow I will be a hypocrite if I say I don’t care what people think. lol. I love to write but the main purpose why I write is to express what I feel and to read it again and again🤗. Thank you for writing I appreciate reading your blogs ❤️❤️❤️.
I agree, I really appreciate constructive criticism about my writing. I think we’d be lying to ourselves if we said we didn’t care about what others think. My main purpose for blogging is to express what I feel with others and for them to resonate with that and form a human connection through writing. I also journal and freewrite and those are just for myself. Thank you for reading! <3E
Me too❤️ I am also into journal and free writing. There are some things that we just wanted kept to ourselves. Youre welcome! 🥰
Nope… Unless it’s to criticize. So I prefer not to share it with them. But I do appreciate sharing with others and reading what other people have to express in their writing. It is indeed a love language
Constructive criticism is a form of love and compassion, to me at least. I always appreciate hearing how others think I can write better. It shows they care about what I’ve written, have thought about it, and support me in bettering myself and my craft.
If it’s constructive yes… We appreciate the feedback. But sometimes it’s just to rip you apart..that’s not fun
Agreed, there’s no room for feedback that’s not constructive.
To me reading is kind of zen. My husband does not read my works. He is more into his own world. I read others inputs to get fair understanding of the concepts.
Yes I agree you can read for different purposes. Sometimes I read to find zen, sometimes I read to find advice or answer to a question, sometimes to inform, and sometimes to give constructive criticism. I think for me that’s an important part of a relationship because it shows they care about me and what I’m writing. I know it’s different for others though. Thanks for sharing!
Oh I totally relate. When I started writing poetry I was reluctant to share at first. But now I do, and the comments and lovely words from others means so much to me and my husband always reads my poetry too. It’s a lovely feeling isn’t it? as you’re putting your heart out there. Thank you for this post ❤
I agree that having someone read what I write makes me feel loved. My husband didn’t want to read my novel “until it got published.” I don’t think he expected it ever would. I showed him. I divorced him (for this and other reasons), plus I got published! 🙂
Unfortunately, I can relate to this for many reasons. I broke up with my boyfriend for this same reason (and others). I think that reading what your partner writes is showing that you care and taking in interest in their thoughts. What you shared with me gave me some hope, and I’m so happy that you achieved success and got published. You go girl!!! <3E
There are times when my husband reads what I write.
Does he initiate reading what you write or do you ask him to read what you’ve written?
I put the link on facebook and when hy is inquisitive, he sometimes read it, but nit so often.
What a beautiful thought! I never thought of it that way, but I do share the feeling you mention. I feel so happy when I get an email about a new like, or a new follower. And I feel even more special when one my friends or family members tells me they enjoyed what I wrote. I feel so honored that they took a few minutes to read me.
thank you, and i agree! it shows that they take an interest in my passion.
I get a little buzz every time someone comments on my blog posts. It feels good to be seen and heard, right? Thanks for the reminder that I need to read that book about the Love Languages. I’ve been hearing about it for so long and think it’d be really interesting.
Hi Rhonda, I too get a buzz seeing comments on my blogs. It’s one of the best feelings to get positive feedback and feel like I have connected with someone through my writing because I really do put my heart and soul into. Thank you for sharing and hopefully you enjoy the book!
I absolutely LOVE to read your writings. Especially love the PoemsOnPhotos. And even more special for me if I was present when the photo was taken, or if I have been there!! You are artfully talented and I love seeing your creations!!💕🧡🧡💕
And this is why you’re my favorite because you never miss one! Thank you for being my biggest fan, I really appreciate it and feel loved. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I don’t expect my bf to be caught up in reading my stuff because of his work, but I love how he allots portions of the time we spend together to talk about what I’m writing or thinking about writing. We have a lot of “brainstorm dates” and he’s helped create many of my characters and worlds and stories. Someday they’ll see the light of day at his constant encouragement! 🥰
Brainstorm dates sound like such a fun idea! i’ve had those with my best friend as we are both writing books. would love to have one with a partner, hopefully someday😅
Hopefully someday! 🥰
Honestly, I like it when people read what I write. Most writers appreciate this. I mean, it’s kinda the point.
I also love honest constructive criticism.
i agree, i’m not looking for them to applaud my work or even agree with it. i just appreciate the time they took to read something i’m passionate about and love to hear any feedback on how to make it better.
It’s interesting, the people closest to you have the greatest ability to impact your feelings – for better or worse. Depending on how proud of the work I have done I may or may not show those closest to me.
I agree, I only show things I’m comfortable with publishing on the internet. There are definitely pieces such as journaling and freewriting that I keep to myself. Some of my poems are just for myself as well, but I share 90% of those on my blog once I finish them because I love sharing my thoughts and connecting with others. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing!
I feel the same way. In fact if my loved ones don’t read it I find myself taking it to heart. Great points!
I agree, it’s really important for my friends and family to take an interest in something I’m so passionate about. Thank you for reading! 🙂
I love when those that know me read and appreciate my writing. It strums a string that plays a validating tune. A tune that until recently, I didn’t know how to live without. However, I have recently begun this anonymous word press space. My writing flows for the first time without constraint or fear of judgment. My stats echo “0 views”. So I guess I’m writing because there is no other way to express my voiceless innards. Even if my words are never read, the voiceless was given a voice.
All great writers started with 0 views. Even the words that were never read still exist, and I think there’s something quite meaningful about that. Best of luck and keep on writing <3
Thank you E.L. Jayne, your words mean a lot to me 💕
I feel the same way! My family and spouse don’t read my blogs, and that makes me sad. Also, to me, a real friend is one who makes time to read my blogs. If I can’t share the blogger part of me with someone, then we aren’t close enough
I totally relate to you because when my friends and family don’t take an interest in what I write either, I take it to heart. In fact, that’s one of the reasons my last relationship ended. I pour my heart into my writing, and if those close to me don’t appreciate that, then I guess we aren’t close enough. Thanks for reading <3E
You are BOLD your Love Language as you call it is strong! Most people are afraid to write down their feelings. They fear they may change their mind or that, the other person may not like/love them as much as they care about them. Once in print, it is like the pyramids in Egypt, forever in our landscape.