Hold On To Your Integrity

You lose your aims as fast as you make them

I’ve seen many publications where they specify their writing goals and aims. The criteria for the articles they’ll be accepting and other stuff.

But as pubs grow older, they stop bothering on what you’re submitting. (Good news for us! Trash em’ up!) The guidelines and criteria don’t matter to them anymore.

This is what I like to call, “Aim-maintenance-fatigue.” Where we decide an aim and start with it. But then as things advance and develop, that aim gets lost long back from where you had started.

Farewell Dr.Aim!

It’s Hard to STICK TO IT!

I remember my experience in this area.

I always used to start by affirming my goal, purpose, and aim to write. Then, I would start.

But such is the influx of influence from all sides that in a few weeks, my priority got diluted. And I found myself imparting advises to others. Since everyone else is!

I’m also being an instructor and self-help guru. The one who is telling you that you should work hard and make money as you save time. YEAH!

(Checkpoint:- I ask myself, “Do you work hard and save time too?”)

Then, when someone like my father shakes me out of my euphoria, I get back to my old settings and start from scratch.

Why does all this happen? Because the world lures us to it and we forget what we had come for in the first place. I had come to serve donuts, and now I’m eating them all alone!

We dilute our priorities in the exchange of someone else’ ideas and aims. We don’t realize it at first. But the collective conditioning gives us a shift in perspective.

We start with something pure, serene and original. But as we start our journey, we load personally and our ideas with other junk. It falls off, gets broken and shatters into pieces. Then we fix it with some other 3rd party material.

The millions of perspectives and mood swings affect our aims, ideologies, and values.

You start with something. And by the end, you twist, turn, burn, grind, mix and churn it to make something new.

New, but not yours. New, but more complex and crappy.

Distilling your ideas and purifying them of misconceptions and wrong beliefs, is different. But burdening it under the pressure of a million other perspectives? What about that?

The Pebble Metaphor

To explain this back-breaking situation, I use the “pebble-metaphor.”

Imagine yourself starting from a point, with your pebbles (aim/goal) in your pocket. Then you move on to other places as you start with your journey.

As you change your location, there are different pebbles out there. You would love to have them.

But there’s your filled pocket. So you compromise with your pebbles for the pebbles you found with someone else.

This happens every time as you change places in your journey.

But at a point, something tickles and pinches you in your thigh. You delve into your pockets and pull out a fistful of weird, pointy stones. There’s even a probability of rough pieces of debris and much more of the stuff that’s not yours.

Then you wonder where your pebbles are. As the pebbles currently with you feel so alien and inappropriate.

There is an alternative to what happened here.

Self-realization of carrying other’s load is not necessary. You might also meet a person who stops you and tells you to take a look in your pocket.

Now, where will you find those pebbles? The ones that were yours.

You’ll pull out your pockets to empty them and start your journey. Right from where you started. To collect the same pebbles you had once emptied out.

Rigidity vs. Flexibility


This is a trait I wish to imbibe in me. It is a foolproof way for stability.

Rigidity is for your personal values. That you don’t forget them and dilute their priority under some influence. Or compromise them, even if you’re in the middle of some influential people.

I see many people (including myself) losing their integrity in front of third parties. We immediately throw away their pebbles or hide them and fit in others.

For example, if there’s a veggie guy with some non-vegetarians. Under the group’s influence, he’ll throw away his pebbles and eat non-veg, too.

Many people with different visions diverge from their path due to losing integrity. Just because of the social influence.

At my house, we practice non-judgment as much as we can. And we try our best not to judge people, situations or anything for that matter. But when I go among friends, I hide my pebbles.

Since they are judging people or situations or this or that, there’s an obligation to do so.


Because of the influence of a group and my own inability to hold on tight to my pebbles. There’s a fear in me that people might misjudge me. Because I’m not participating in their noble cause. 🤔

This stupid fear not only compels us to fill other’s pebbles but at times bizarre stuff like other’s poop, too. Because values such as judgment or teasing are poop values. We trade them in for our precious pebbles.


I know what sort of questions might be coming to you.

Then how will we improve?

What if our pebbles are dirty and need a wash?

Well, I must say that you need to know who to take the water from to wash your pebbles.

It is a good trait to bend with people who talk about your well-being. They are your true well-wishers.

What’s the problem in surrendering to their wisdom and getting our pebbles polished?

We all have a mental filter that can decide for us on what is good for us and to spill out of the other ear.

I read many articles on Medium. But I don’t take every article over my head and try to take its advice or change any of my principles.

For example, I had found an article which demotivated positivity. I could see that it was going a bit off track. I mean, it wasn’t really resonating with my beliefs. And my understanding of positivity was clear. As I had received it from great masters and pioneers of life.

But I still read that article till the end.

Because I like to read and know how other people think of life.
What’s their perspective?
What’s on their heads?
What to do they think about themselves and the world?


It’s not your responsibility nor the obligation to accept what everyone gives you. You can’t compromise your personal jewels for something which doesn’t suit you. Or doesn’t go along with your long-term aims.

Losing your integrity for petty matters or under influence implants ingenuity in us.

Trust me, ingenuity is one tough hombre to take down. I’m still battling it out.

Even the quality of my posts swings according to my genuineness degree. Ha! It is an ongoing battle.

In every post I write, whenever I sense any sort of copy-pasting or ingenuity, I scrap it up.

I don’t care.

I can do whatever I can for securing my genuineness and integrity. I try hard. Although I can’t do it every time.

Being authentic is a must for me. Awareness, especially of our errors, is the only way to improve. You can read for years but if you don’t see and admit your errors there’s no chance of change. Sometimes, reading about the errors of the others helps in seeing ours.
Vico Biscotti

That is why we should all start working on it from today. Erasing out our ingenuity, and the losing-pebbles-on-seeing-others’ mentality.

All the VERY best on securing your pebbles and finding the correct guidance for you!

Bonus tip : Check your pockets for any holes in it…😉

Call To Action

If you liked this post and would like to stuff more of such stuff in your psyche check out my website – Connecting Dots and subscribe to my blog to stay updated!

I also write on medium.com. You can check out my profile right here.

3 thoughts on “Hold On To Your Integrity

  1. My thoughts change all the time, hence I guess my integrity? I am not sure how to define myself these days because once someone retires and all their children are grown it seems we have to “find” ourselves again and what we want to do, where we want to go from here. I am just enjoying each day so I have left all my pebbles behind. I may one day pick up many pebbles at one time and toss them all just to see the fun of where they will land. Does any of that make sense? I feel like for now I am just floundering and suppose to just enjoy myself and see where the next day takes me.

Leave a Reply