Do you spend your life rushing from one task to another? Do you struggle to say no and end up exhausted from taking on too may commitments? Do you spend your life trying to win the approval of others? If you said yes to any of these, there’s a good chance you’re an overachiever.   

In last week’s post, Done is Better Than Perfect, I encouraged you to overcome the need to be perfect. Picking up on that theme, this week is all about challenging yourself to do more of the things that bring you joy—and less of everything else.

For most of my working life, it seemed the standard response to “How are you doing?” has been “Busy!” We wear our busyness like a badge of honour. But why are we so busy? And what would happen if we decided to do less, or do more of the things that make us happy?   

I just finished reading Rose Lounsbury’s new book, Achievement Addict. As I read the introduction, I found myself nodding my head a lot. While I’ve made great strides in simplifying my life and focusing on what matters, overachiever tendencies don’t magically disappear. It’s definitely a work in progress.

Three Types of Busyness

In the book’s introduction, Lounsbury identifies three types of busyness:

• Busy importance is about proving our worth. It means we pack our calendars and take on more tasks to prove our worth to ourselves and others.
• Busy distraction is about avoidance. We keep ourselves busy to avoid reflection, difficult conversations, or tasks that make us uncomfortable.
• Busy fulfillment is the type of busy we need more of. It’s about doing things that light us up and align with our purpose.

Task Fulfillment vs. Personal Fulfillment

Expanding on the concept of fulfillment, Lounsbury goes on to differentiate between task fulfillment and personal fulfillment.

Task fulfillment is doing what needs to be done to complete a task. Once it’s complete, you can tick the box and move on. Some people can do that easily, but the perfectionist or overachiever constantly battles the urge to do just a little bit more.  

Here’s the big a-ha! Going beyond task fulfillment can either add stress or joy. If you choose to do more to impress others or out of a need for acceptance, it will add stress. If you choose to go beyond task fulfillment because you want to, that’s when you get personal fulfillment.

To illustrate the point, Lounsbury uses an example I think every parent can relate to—planning a child’s birthday party. When my daughters were young, birthday parties were always a source of stress, largely because of the self-imposed desire to compete with other parents. I’m sure we can all think of examples from our own lives where we kept going even when what we had already done was good enough.

Focus on Joy Not Stress

All of that insight is just from the book’s introduction. In the rest of the book, Lounsbury provides a “12 step guide to peace, presence and a life beyond doing”. It’s full of wisdom and practical tips. If you’re ready to reduce your stress and bring more joy to your life, you’ll enjoy the book.

Like perfectionism, overcoming the need to achieve takes time, effort and reflection. Starting today, if you’re tempted to take on another task, or feel the need to go above and beyond what’s needed, ask yourself why. Which type of busyness does this task contribute to? Will it give you fulfillment or just add to your stress?

And don’t be afraid to say no!

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How do you avoid packing your schedule with too much busy work? Drop me a comment below and let me know.

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