Until you said that, I never realized that could be one reason I do the same. I have OCD too.
I also find myself apologizing for grieving. It doesn’t matter how many times I’m told not to apologize about it…I just can’t help it.
A better question might be whether you apologize for things that don’t need an apology. I generally don’t apologize unless someone appears to have been hurt by my actions. No speculative, “just in case, CYA,” apologies. If some random person “takes offense” at something, I’ll want to discuss it with them before any kind of apology is forthcoming. Taking offense is often just a way to exercise power.
There’s also the question of whether you are apologizing for what you did, for how it affected someone, or if the apology was coerced. I may also be “sorry you feel that way.” I regret your response but I’m not going to change.Or an apology in advance to warn off people who might be offended.
I over-apologize sometimes . . . but I think I agree . . . the more you apologize, the less it seems, or the more it pleases certain individuals who have “prompted” the apology in the first place (it’s a long story).
I don’t think I apologize too much. If anything, I’ve been guilty of doing things for which an apology is inadequate, and knowing that, I don’t even bother trying. Which is its own problem.
Definitely. I have OCD and it’s a compulsion with me.
Interesting, I’ve never thought of it as an OCD compulsion before.
Until you said that, I never realized that could be one reason I do the same. I have OCD too.
I also find myself apologizing for grieving. It doesn’t matter how many times I’m told not to apologize about it…I just can’t help it.
I definitely do
A better question might be whether you apologize for things that don’t need an apology. I generally don’t apologize unless someone appears to have been hurt by my actions. No speculative, “just in case, CYA,” apologies. If some random person “takes offense” at something, I’ll want to discuss it with them before any kind of apology is forthcoming. Taking offense is often just a way to exercise power.
There’s also the question of whether you are apologizing for what you did, for how it affected someone, or if the apology was coerced. I may also be “sorry you feel that way.” I regret your response but I’m not going to change.Or an apology in advance to warn off people who might be offended.
The more you apologize the less it means.
Thanks Fred, I appreciate your observations on this.
I over-apologize sometimes . . . but I think I agree . . . the more you apologize, the less it seems, or the more it pleases certain individuals who have “prompted” the apology in the first place (it’s a long story).
More often than not, but it always feels best when the one receiving the apology should objectively be the one offering the apology 😊
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Maybe I do apologize too much sometimes. Better too much than too little, I think. 🙂
I don’t think I apologize too much. If anything, I’ve been guilty of doing things for which an apology is inadequate, and knowing that, I don’t even bother trying. Which is its own problem.