Hi everyone! Happy Sundays!
I have recently been warned by a friend of mine that I sometimes tend to see one negative in my life and forget the fact that I have so many things going on just fine. So, I thought this is worth discussing here.
There are many things I can be grateful for. I have a secure job (at least for this year and possibly next, though it is uncertain after that). I live in a good part of a good country. I have a great circle of friends etc. All great things, right? But there is one thing that I don’t have: family. My family is in Turkey and I miss them. Although family is important and it is a human need, the fact that my family is not with me becomes such a highlight of my daily life sometimes that I forget all the other things I have. That is not healthy. Plus, I still meet my family virtually. Imagine if this was 1800s.
That focus on what is lacking is not healthy and it gets me nowhere. I can’t get my family here, nor can I go stay with them. The only thing I do to myself in this case is just make myself sad. This sadness in turn makes me irritable and unproductive. So, essentially, there is no gain from this focus but I sometimes cannot help it. That is why I decided that I will explicitly tell myself the good things I have out loud every morning and it has helped. This is like a gratitude journal but a spoken version. Also, whenever I start thinking about what I don’t have, I started immediately reminding myself what I have, again spoken out loud. This way, I hope to switch my brain’s focus until focusing on the good things becomes natural.
We are not in this world to be sad. We are here to live. So, let’s just not waste our lies with focusing on wrong things.
What do you think? Do you focus on what you don’t have? If so, do you try to get out and how? If not, how do you not? What is your secret? Let’s discuss.