Before Christmas, I visited a man with whom I had kept a weekly appointment for many years. Something inside me insisted that I should visit him. It could be one of the last times I would see him. I followed my inner voice and tried to call him, but the three numbers I had for him didn’t work. So I decided to show up at his house.
Rafael was surprised when he opened the door and saw me there. My good old Rafael was almost unrecognizable. He had once been my psychologist but we had developed a friendship after I stopped going to him. I am fully aware that having a friendly relationship with one’s psychologist is not within the normal framework of rules, but we both followed the deeper knowledge within us and kept in touch. I don’t remember when I had last seen him, but it was a few years ago, and those years had taken their toll.
Rafael was no longer the man I remembered. In his manner of speech, his eyes, his body. It was as if he was waiting for what awaits us all—the great unknown. This poem came to me after I last met him. Through these words, I want to honor him, honor life and, yes, perhaps the new year, which bears the stamp of the eternal cycle of life: life and death. New beginnings and endings.
Accept Me Without Strife
Unexpectedly one day
I ran into DEATH
I met him in someone’s eyes
They could anytime, run out of breath
Death was there, lurking around
Waiting to be invited in
Like a glowing crown
I stared him in the eyes
He was standing tall and high
Manifesting the other side of life
Regardless of the why
That day in my encounter with DEATH
In the silence of the moment
In the waiting room
He was standing tall as the sky
Invisible, but like an ally
Talking with silent words
I will come when the time is up
Wanted
Unwanted
I invite myself in
As a part of life
I show up in different shapes and colors
So accept me without strife
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