Joy. It’s a simple word, and one we hear often. But what does it really mean to be joyful? Is joy the same as happiness? And how do we bring more joy into our lives?
Many people spend their lives on a continuous quest for happiness, but is that the right goal? In their book Love People, Use Things, The Minimalists Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus discuss joy as the highest form of wellbeing—ranking it above pleasure, happiness and contentment.
If you search the joy and wellbeing connection, you won’t find a lot of research on the topic, but Dr. Pamela Ebstyne-King of the Thrive Center for Human Development has studied it extensively.
Joy is an enduring, deep delight in what holds the most significance.
Pamela Ebstyne-King
In an interview with Psychology Today, Dr. Ebsytne-King observed that happiness is fleeting—it comes and goes. Joy, on the other hand is an enduring, underlying sense of something deeper. It involves our thoughts, feelings, and actions related to what matters most in our lives.
Dr. Ebstyne-King identified three areas that characterize joy.
- Self—growing in authenticity and living in our strengths.
- Others—growing relationships and contributing to others.
- Values—living in alignment with our ethical and spiritual ideals.
When these three areas overlap, we experience the most joy. In Charitable Giving and the Helper’s High, I discussed the benefits of volunteering and helping others. When I consider Dr. Ebstyne-King’s research on joy, it all makes sense. Charitable giving and volunteering provide an opportunity to experience all three of these areas at once. Joy abounds!
Cultivating Joy in Your Life
So how can you get more joy in your life? Dr. Ebstyne-King suggests it is a habit we can cultivate, even when faced with adversity.
So, related to the three areas that inform joy—self, others, values—here are my ideas to cultivate your joy this holiday season.
- Start with self-awareness. As you go about your daily activities at this busy time of year, make a mental note of times when you feel joy. Consider how that feeling of joy connects with your strengths and the things that matter in your life.
- It’s interesting that so much research on happiness and wellbeing points out the good feeling you get from doing good for others. Take the time to do something good for someone else—no matter how small.
- At the end of each day, write down a few things that brought you joy that day. Consider how that feeling of joy reflected your values.
As I wrapped up this post, I saw an excellent piece from Fritz at The Retirement Manifesto site. In 10 Ways to Find Joy in Life, Fritz shared highlights of a discussion at a recent Retirement Mastermind meeting and challenged us to write down our own answer to the question “How do you find joy in life?” and share it in the blog comments.
Here are the two things I wrote down and shared in the comments:
- Learn to enjoy the stillness. I’m an early riser so my favourite time of day is early morning when the house is quiet. I sip my tea, read, write and just savour the quiet.
- Be mindful. I think this goes along with your first point about mindset. It’s about being aware of things that make you smile or bring you joy.
In this last week before Christmas, I wish you an abundance of joy. Take the opportunity this week to think of ways to actively pursue more joy in your life and make that a goal for 2024. And I encourage you to check out The Retirement Manifesto’s post for some additional inspiration.
What brings you joy? Drop me a comment below and let me know.
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