The art of cultivating human relationships is so important that it is not surprising that the book of Dale Carnegie, How to win friends and influence people, published a long ago (1936) but still very current, has sold the most copies worldwide.
Carnagie’s book needs to be interpreted under the current circumstances, where technology has changed dramatically the way we communicate and we relate to one another.
Therefore, the basic principles of his book can still be applicable today but there are some new hints I would like to share with you.
Some practical advice on how to deal with people
- The first step is generosity that is giving without expecting anything in return. Maybe you know someone who all of a sudden lost some people around them. Their friends seemed to suddenly vanish. The reason is simple, they were not interested in a real relationship, but only in what they could get out of it. To cultivate a healthy relationship, you should be generous, share what you have, and really care about the person you are with (for instance by listening activel and attentively ).
- Be consistent. Words are beautiful, but actions are the glue of friendship. Therefore, you should not gossip about who is not there with you in that moment (something that seems obvious, but that it’s often forgotten), highlight some positive aspects of the other and keep your promises.
- Friends should be positively surprised – Remember their birthdays, and also if you share the same circle of friends, tell them about that friend’s birthday. When you have a free moment, call simply to find out how they are. Use voice memos and a calendar to remember important things for your friend(s) and then send them a message or give them a call.
- Add new friends to your contacts by using their name and family name. Use tags to group your friends that reminds you of something you shared (a pizza, a movie, the place where you met). Likewise, if you have it, add also a photo so that you will have them closer.
- Update your contacts regularly – Review the contacts, and remove those that for any reason you think they are not part of your life any longer. Here include people who simply you dislike. It is not worth wasting your time with those who you do not get along well.
- Introduce new people to your circle of friends. Generosity is also expressed through sharing something very valuable, your new friends.
Taking care of human relations makes us great because the best thing ever is dedication in relationships. For this, time and love are required but only in this way you will be able to cultivate the beautiful art of human relationships.
What would you think useful and important for cultivating relationships?
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