That may be a weird title, but it’s much better than: My Wife Is Dumpster Fire.
If I had posted a piece with that title, my next post would probably be called: My Wife Has Filed For Divorce.
But anyway, back to the camp fire thing…
My wife is hot! And I don’t mean that in a sexy, attractive way (wait- I’m not saying she’s not attractive- she is, but that’s not relevant right now). I’m saying she’s hot because she literally gives off excessive body heat. Her skin is hot to the touch!
The closer you get to her, the warmer you feel. I don’t mean that in an emotional/she-makes-me-feel-warm-and-fuzzy way (although she does, but that also is not relevant right now). I mean when you get physically closer to her, you may soon start to sweat.
We (ok , I…) like to keep our bedroom pretty chilly at night. My wife goes to bed at roughly 10:23pm every night (don’t ask- that’s a whole other blog post) but I usually come up later. When I crawl into bed (I sleep naked- sorry for the TMI) the sheets are usually freezing and uncomfortable, so the quickest way to get warm is to get closer to my campfire wife, whose heat warms me up right quick. But, as it is with fire, if you get too close, you’ll be sweating in no time. And if you happen to touch her….. like I said- she’s hot!
So back to the campfire thing again. People gather around a campfire to get warm; I gather around my wife to stay warm.
People gather around the campfire to tell stories and hangout; my wife is often at the center of organizing family gatherings and reminding me to show up at social functions.
People toast marshmallows over a campfire and make s’mores; I can’t really think of any things my wife has in common with that, so maybe this analogy has reached its limit.
It’s fine though. I guess that’s what happens when you start writing a blog at 1AM after crawling into a freezing bed, warming up close to your human campfire wife.
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